I've been at our vacation home for quite some time. My kids with friends and family have been going to the beach almost every day since being here. I'm completely annoyed by the ignorance of the people here. Over the last few weeks I've been constantly asking people to please throw their cigarette butts in the trash cans since we had gone out of the way to clean the beach this past winter, and because many kids play here. One person who happened to be a family friend, purposely said, I don't care, I will continue to smoke and leave my cigarette butts on the sand. No less she is a doctor! AND smoked during her own pregnancy. Just a note...But, how do you deal with a person like that? Why is this person being stubborn about caring for our planet or against doing the right thing when she is told what she's doing is wrong? I am in Greece. This unfortunately is the mentality of most of the people in this country. No wonder it's going down hill. In any case, how would you respond to an idiot such as this person?
Hand her a coffee can with sand in it and ask her politely to put her butts in that sand instead of on the beach.
LBC
I would inform her that she would not do it on my property and/or in my house! If she didn't like what I said, she could leave and let the door hit her on the A@! on the way out. Just because someone has an "addiction" to cigarettes, doesn't mean everyone around them must suffer too. In my opinion - if she's that rude, you don't need her as a friend. Good luck!
Hi Gigis, after reading many of your previous posts, it occurs to me that you very frequently experience extreme frustration when you cannot control the behavior of another person.
Life is better with peace. But peace comes from yourself, not from others around you conforming to what you need them to be.
Therapy or meds might help with this.
Peace to you.
:)
When in Rome......Do as the Romans do. There is a cultural differance here. You have your values and ideals and she has hers. I'm sure there are annoying things about all of us. Enjoy your vacation and stop battling. If the butts bother you, make a ritual of picking them up once a day. BTW ....what if she heard you diss all of Greece, the people, the country, and say it is going downhill? She would probably find that pretty annoying too.
you don't. you just press on...you can't change someone...
if they are a family friend, then you can simply state they are not welcome at your home...if they don't like it - that's their problem - not yours...
I would no longer be inviting her over to your vacation home if she can't be curtious enough to respect your property and request.
hehe 1st thing that popped in my mind...
collect all her cig butts and put them in her suitcase, car, room etc.
probably shouldn't really do that, but it was a funny idea at 1st lol
Yikes. I don't honestly know what you can do... it's the culture there so technically you are the one who is "out-of-line". Personally, I think she's not only rude and disrespectful, but sounds pretty irresponsible.
There's really not much you can do except put the garbage cans as well as signs around and hope for the best. Is this a private beach or is your home located on a public beach? If it's a private beach, I guess you could ask her to leave. If it's public, sorry.
if she your guest? if yes, tell her that those are your rules. but you have to remember, smoking in Greece is very common. You can't change the entire country. If she wants to smoke, let her smoke, but ask her kindly to pick up her cig. butts.
So many people treat the beach like their personal ash tray.
It's disgusting but they are going to do what they are going to do unless someone slaps a $5000 littering fine on them and no such thing exists.
When it hurts them in the wallet, they'll be more considerate, but until then they'll just continue being jerks.
In the mean time, don't invite this friend over again.
"How would you respond to an idiot such as this person?"
This idiot...your family friend.
Whoa-wee, G.. Those are strong words.
"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar".
Greece is in a transition. Don't know if I would classify it as "down hill". I hear a lot about solidarity and people's movements. Who knows? Who can say what will come?
And. Whether or not you like what's going on, it's certainly not because of cigarette butts! Wouldn't it be nice if life were that simple!
PS I live by a beach too. We take a trash bag to the beach and pick up litter when ever we hang out. Also, I'm a smoker. I don't leave my butts. I get it, I really do. Butts aren't good for the ocean.
On the other hand, what's going to help? What do I get to do?
Really, I know I get to be in control of MYself. No one else (save my kids, to a certain extent). No need me getting an ulcer over it. That's not going to do a darn bit of good. So, we do just a simple small thing - pick up trash. Not going to save or damn the earth. Just something that feels good.
Sometimes, just by hanging out and having FUN, picking litter up, other people join in. It's not something I do while muttering under my breath. In fact, we sing and dance and act like fools. Then, other folks want to join in. Honey. Not vinegar. ;-)
I think this is one of the pitfalls of buying a home in another country, or even just travelling to one. Our American ideas of how things should be often aren't shared by the natives. Unless the beach is your private property, then I'm afraid you're going to have to accept that things are done differently in Greece & that as much as you don't approve of another person's actions, you cannot control them. You can control yourself, so if you are inclined, feel free to remind people to clean up, or post signs. Personally, I learned a long time ago not to spin my wheels when I can't control something. I think you might need to learn to accept it & move on.
Sounds like you need to take a deep breath & just let go of this one. You can be as angry as you want to be, but you're the only one who cares about your anger & you're the only one who can do anything about it. The only people you have control over is your own kids & yourself & you only have it over your kids for a short time. We all have things that fall into the category of "deal breakers" for us. If this is one of yours, then I guess it's time to let this friend go.
If it is a beach at your own home, I wouldn't invite her over again. It always disgusted me to see people doing that on the public beach in Naples. I mean seriously, I don't go over to their house and play in their ashtray and make a mess in their house, what makes them think that I want them turning our public beaches into their ashtray? Why do smokers think that it's ok to litter? Why should nature have to deal with that disgustingness? It drives me crazy to see wildlife...birds etc walking amongst piles of cigarette butts in the landscaping while looking for something to eat. Thankfully in Naples there are now signs posted at the beach, and posts with waste bags for people to take their disgustingness with them or to toss in the trash can on their way back to the car. Maybe you could petition your local city to make it illegal to leave that stuff behind at public beaches. Good luck!
She is wrong according to you. She can leave her butts on the sand if she wants to unless you own it. Is this what she should do? No. But its free will and she can do what she wants. She might think you are a bossy know it all. Its all about choices. Good ones and bad one. Its called life. You may think she is an idiot but she doesn't have to listen to you.
i would NOT allow anyone to stay in my home who disrespected me and my family. are they your guests?
they are disgusting and will never realize it. we took poor, abused kids out and they walked past 2 trash cans, got in the car, rolled down the window, and began throwing trash onto the parking lot. I lost it. I screamed and demanded they get out and clean the entire lot up before we left.
I'd tell her if I saw her put anymore trash on the beach, I'd pick it up after her and make sure it gets cooked in her food, or placed in her clothing drawers or something. And yes, I would definitely follow that thru!!
I don't think there is a way of convincing her she is wrong. I know it sucks, but I would just ignore her. Some people are bound and determined to remain in their stupidity. I would say ignorance but she knows better.
If your vacation home in on the beach and is one of many, there isn't much you can do, except explain that in America we don't do that. Its a cultural thing. Only people from third world countries do that.
If its a private beach, you have much more horse power. If it was a private beach, I tell it was a private beach and you want it kept clean. Cigarette butts are cancerous trash. Explain that.
Good luck to you and yours.
I'd say there is nothing you can do but clean it up yourself or leave it. She is an adult and able to make her own choices.
Sell that vacation house and by one in a county that is more environmentally friendly and this time do some checks on the neighbors.
Instead of being critical or disgusted all you can do is make a plea to your friend. If she doesn't want to hear you there is nothing you can do except enlist your children to help you clean up those butts every day!
Point out that instead of littering and making the beach look trashy, she can use an empty drink can or bottle and toss it at the end of the day. Remind her you're not asking her to stop smoking -you're just asking her to stop littering! If she can't comply and is there at your invitation, then I wouldn't invite her again.
