I'm Bothered by This

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I sure wouldn't like it. But it doesn't surprise me, either. It sounds like something a young girl would try. Kids aren't really good at using their brains - they feel that they have to have what they want to have right now! So why not use a line like this on you and see if they can get what they want?

It doesn't mean she hasn't used it before, but it also doesn't mean she has.

You've let your daughter know where you stand on that kind of manipulation. I hope your daughter will let her friend know that she can't get away with it at your house either!

I also hope that your daughter will share with you if she is ever concerned about her friend.

That is totally normal teenage behavior. It's just like the old "ask your mom if I can spend the night"...or "have your mom call my mom so I can stay for dinner, if I call her she'll say no".... It's disturbing to us that kids do this but I think it's pretty normal. It's obvious immaturity at work, they really don't even know what they are asking of you when they are doing something like that.
An immature/irresponsible parent would have told that scary story.... I'm proud of you that you are not one of those moms.... but unfortunately they are out there, plenty of them. All the more reason to do your best to keep the communication up with your own children so they can make mature choices and recognize wrong behavior in their bff's which makes them proud of their own mom for teaching them the difference between right and wrong. I believe a lot of kids are being raised in an indifferent household, the parents are too busy texting and whining to their friends about how miserable they are staying home with their kids and lame husband..... kids feel the disconnect and end up raising themselves, its sad.
There are tons of great, tuned in Moms on this site and makes me proud to know that a fresh generation of well balanced adults are being raised.

I think it's no big deal. I'm sure my daughter has told other parents things she hasn't told me, and shared things with them. I don't care.

It's just the plot of a movie she was asking about. I think you're overreacting.

I fail to understand why you are so bothered by this. They are young teenagers, and they wanted to hear a scary story. She tested a boundary, and you said no. What's the big deal?

I think...in this situation I would not say anything to the other mom. Maybe this is not something she would normally do, and now you have told her no, so maybe she can get the picture that it is not okay to do that. I am glad you talked to your daughter though. I hate to tell you this, but I think you will run into situations like this more and more. Especially as the girls get older and you become closer to your daughter's friends. My friends were always asking my mom for things she had to say no to. They knew that she cared and they wanted to go to her for all sorts of things, but she had to keep drawing that line. I don't think it's a good idea to tell on another child unless it is something that is really serious...but it is okay to say to another kid that you are not comfortable or that what they are asking you is wrong. Without making a big deal about it. Good luck! It sounds like your daughter has some good sense about her, so that's great.

I have a tendency to say exactly what I think right when it happens.
Good job not really letting that girl have it.
I am glad your daughter talks to you about it and knows how wrong it is.
I would wonder if the other M. keeps secrets from you, but I am paranoid.

My own mother allowed anyone to do anything at our house. She even took girls to get birth control. My husband knows several girls whose mothers took their daughters' friends to get the pill. Other parents just don't respect
boundaries and many want to be cool.

I think you did the right thing.

She's a kid, they were excited and wanted you to tell a scary story. You are way more bothered by this than you should be. I would have let it go already. Lots more important things to worry about in my opinion.

i would be bothered by it...but i think it's not that unusual for a teenage girl. if you're good friends with her mom i would mention it, though.

Teens often say things without thinking them through. At least she admitted that her mother would not approve instead of lying and saying of she wouldn't mind. If she does it again, talk to her mother about it, otherwise it was likely a thoughtless moment.