I'm Beginning to Think No One Has Actually Seen a Woman 9 Months Pregnant!

Updated on April 04, 2013
*.*. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
31 answers

I'm ranting about this today because I'm tired of people telling me my due date is wrong. I get that it's an estimate. But I'm tired of people staring at me and assessing my baby's gestational age.

My doc says I measure perfectly. I'm short and thin, and gained 25 pounds. Yes, I look like I've swallowed a basketball. I'm due in a couple weeks. I thought it was good that I don't look pregnant from the back, I can still put my socks on myself and shave my legs, lol. So, why does it bother me? Hormones, probably.

All I hear is "REALLY? you look overdue" or "Are you SURE you're not carrying twins??" or "I'm sure your doctor has your due date all wrong, you're too big." I've also been compared to a bloated tick. Because you know, that's what you need to hear when you already feel large and ungainly.

I feel like the only acceptable thing to say to me is "Wow, you look great/amazing/glowing" or some similar comment, even if its a lie :)

So...for a question...who can relate?

What can I do next?

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

Way too many people put thier opinions in the wrong place.. My SIL is going through the same thing. My hubby and I saw her for Easter, and the two of us agreed that she looks fine for where she is, she has about a month to go..

I think too many morons are watching the super skinny models have kids and look so small etc.. that when they see a real person they have no right comparing.

I was HUGE.. I am 5'1, there is no where for the baby to go but out. ...

With that said, I think you look perfect! Good luck and congratulations!

6 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

You have my permission to say, "Well, in a few weeks, I won't be pregnant, but you'll still be _____________".

5 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Happens to SOOOO many people. Forgive them. They're just trying to think of something clever to say... and not succeeding.

4 moms found this helpful

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V.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Okay, first of all I would pay good money to see video of some poor idiot telling a very hormonal pregnant woman that she looked like a bloated tick.

Secondly, I kinda know how you feel... Except I was at the other side of things. I was too small, and people just loooooved to comment on it (Seriously, when I walked into the hospital to delivery they gave me a look like 'Uh, are you sure that you're in labor?' And then were completely surprised that I told them I was a day past my due date (At 9 months pregnant I looked 6 months pregnant)). Of course, I was working as a cashier at the time. Literally every other customer asked the dreaded 'Oooh, when are you due'. Sigh... On the 28th. 'Uh... Of what month?'. Another sigh... This one. 'What? No! You can't be more than 6 months along! You're so small'. Ya...

My favorite one was the customer who came through my line a couple of days before my due date. Her: Oooh, when are you due? Me: Thursday Her: What? This Thursday? No. You're too small! Me: Oh really? Were you in the bedroom when I got pregnant? Cause I don't remember seeing you there.

Ya, I was pretty ready for the pregnancy to be over at that point and was reeeaaally cranky. Lol.

9 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Every woman and every pregnancy is different. Yes, it is annoying when people do this. I was 21 when I was pregnant with my first. I was thin and 5-4. I carried all over and looked much further ahead. Even I thought the date may be wrong, lol. People thought I was having twins. Well, I was only 4 days over my due date and he weighed 9-10 and 22" long.

I was 29 with my second, was much thinner to start but carried like a basketball in front and no one knew I was pregnant from behind. I swore the doc had my due date wrong by a month, because he was so compact in there it was crazy. He was 4 days early from the due date and weighed in at 8-11 but would have weighed more if he would have gained weight properly during the entire pregnancy.

With my triplets, you don't even want to know how I looked, lol. At 8 weeks people were asking when I was due. I had 4 in there but didn't know it. I was already wearing maternity underwear, lol. Even with multiple pregnancies some carry way out front and some carry all around.

I found people who asked odd questions or made comments were ripe for comments shooting back. Just have some handy comments to send back to them. I once told a woman, a stranger, that she had a flat butt after one of her comments and walked away. And when strangers touched my stomach and reached back and touched theirs. I was tempted to touch a woman's breast to make a point but couldn't cross that line, lol.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

4 moms found this helpful
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H.P.

answers from Houston on

By the time that people found out that I was pregnant, I was heading to the hospital. I didn't have your exact issue, but my issue is just with people thinking that they need to insert their opinions everywhere. I am not a walking message board. I don't give a f--- what it looks like to you, dear stranger. I've got my own issues over here--wondering what I'm gonna eat right now, how to get close enough to my desk to type, how much more of my personal information I'm gonna share before I just abruptly turn and walk away.... A lot of people got "Yeah, okay" from me.

ETA: Toni V., the same thing happend to my mother. She was under 5 feet and under 100 pounds and under 20 years old when I was born. Just about 40 years later, she still looks like a kid. She told me about one older woman on the bus who just shook her head and actually verbalized, "That's a shame." She probably assumed that my mother was about 14 years old.

4 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Tampa on

My son would hug me and very sweetly say "mommy, your so fat" yay thanks...my daughter was over 10 pounds so I was HUGE the last few weeks and I always got the "there must be one hiding!" Or even a few "damn your huge!!!" Gee thanks...your carrying a beautiful baby try not to let people get the best of you!

4 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hahahaha, who can relate? Probably almost all of us :) People are dumb, but for the most part they dont mean any harm.

I knew I was super-huge when I was standing at the printer in my office, and two of the guys I work with walked by and one of them proceeded to stop and say "Oh my god. Are you OK?? Really... I dont know how you can even walk at this point". I nearly died laughing. He is like 22 years old and fresh out of college and apparently has not fully developed common sense yet. I just said something like " you have no idea..." and waddled away. The horrified look on the other guys face was priceless.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

Ha ha! I can definitely relate. My MIL thought I was exaggerating about the number of comments I got when I was pregnant. -- until she came on a vacation with us when I was seven months pregnant. Pretty much everyone we encountered at the airport, restaurants, and shopping commented on my giant belly. They were all friendly to me, but they just could not keep their mouths shut!

When I was about eight months pregnant, some lady at Costco crossed a busy walkway and walked about 100 feet over to me to tell me that I must be "so uncomfortable". I just laughed because I was so used to those comments by then.

Everyone who commented on my belly was just trying to be friendly and sympathetic. I greatly preferred those comments to the ones I received after having the baby, "so when are you due?" After I would point to my baby, I would let them stammer in their embarrassment ;-)

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and congratulations!

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I was also short (5'2") and thin. I was 115lbs before my first pregnancy and gained 40lbs, I was 105lbs before my second pregnancy and gained 50lbs. I really only gained a belly, and it was so round I could balance a plate on it. I looked like I swallowed a beach ball! I got lots of comments, but I was actually proud of my baby belly so it didn't bother me.

When I see a heavily pregnant woman I still can't believe I was ever that big, just like when ever I see a new born baby I can't believe my kids were ever that little.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I am 5 - 8 and my second was over 9 lbs. I was in an elevator about three weeks from deliver and a woman commented on how HUGE I was. Gee- thanks. I don't have a mirror.
But I agree, folks view of pregnancy is super skewed.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

A bloated tick??? How did you not punch that person in the face?

High five for not looking pregnant in the back! :) I looked pregnant from every angle.

It seems as though people have diarrhea of the mouth no matter what the situation. Congrats on your growing family, and I hope that baby makes a timely appearance so you don't have to endure any more comments!

3 moms found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

LMAO! This is too funny. I haven't been pregnant in 3.5 years, but man if I can't relate!

So, I should have started with this...Hugs...and you look fabulous!! :)

All the time, and I mean all the time, people asked me if I was carrying twins. I'm not sure why people think that's a nice thing to say. One girl (and I give her a tiny bit of slack b/c she was just a teenage girl) asked me if i was carrying twins and when I replied no, she responded with, oh I only asked b/c my mom had triplets and she looked about that big. Ummm...really, kid?! I wanted to flip her off but decided that would be in bad form. ;)

I wish I had something insightful to say, but really, I don't. I feel your pain. Next time someone says something to you I would just sigh really loudly and then say in an irritated voice...why does everyone think I'm pregnant!

3 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Yup.

But you know how the average uterus carries 10pbs per pregnancy? 7 or 8 pounds of baby & 2-3 pounds of placenta? Mine had 40lbs. So I really was huuuuuuuge.

Sigh.

So I had doctors thinking I was carrying trips/quads/quints.

Sniff.
ROFL.
So I couldn't reeeeeally complain about average joe thinking so.
Ha!
Pregnancy hormones meant I did, though!

(Cancer complication.... My placenta grew to the size of NewJersey. Over 20lbs. Then also 10lbs of baby.)

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Green Bay on

I heard how big I was too...and that was when I had a couple MONTHS to go! Consider yourself lucky that you have only gained 25 lbs and don't look pregnant from the back...not to mention you can still do your socks and shave!! :-)

Congrats on your beautiful basketball - don't let those nasties bother you :-)

2 moms found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I remember the feeling, I'm 4'9", weighed under 100 lbs before I got pregnant, gained 22 pounds and looked like Volkswagon at the time of my delivery. To top it off, I was 19 and looked a lot younger.....so believe me did I get the looks. Finally one day while my older sister and I were out shopping a lady was staring at me and sort of shaking here head in disgust and my sister got right in her face and said (loudly), "What the hell do you think your looking at"?

The woman turned on her heels at got out of that store right then.

So its OK to vent, don't let rude people bother you too much, if you don't have a good come back (i.e. "Really, what medical school did you go to"?), just ignore them.

By the way, I gave birth to a healthy, 8 pound boy and weighed in at 100 pounds the day after he was born. Sound's like you will have a good sized child too. Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I think when people ask you when you're due you should just start saying, "Any day now."

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

With both my kids.... I was HUGE! And I carried outward... so my tummy was huge and stuck out major. I had to hold/lift my tummy from the bottom just for extra support.

SO MANY people and strangers, would tell me "oh are you having multiples?" and that I look due already.
So then I'd say "no, its just ONE in there..." and then vent about how hard it is to move around etc. and yammer on and on... and they'd go away.
LOL

I didn't look pregnant from the back either, but I waddled like a clumsy duck.

When I look at photos of myself when I was pregnant, I cannot believe, how huge my tummy was and how outward it stuck out and how round it was. Looked like a hot air balloon in there and like I had triplets in there.
I am amazed I didn't just burst.
Oh but after pregnancy, so now I have Diastasis Recti.

But at least no one, compared me to a bloated tic.
But I would have agreed with them.
And I'd get all sorts of strangers guessing what gender I was having, due to the shape/size of my huge belly. Whatever.

I gained 25 pounds with my first one.
And 15 pounds with my second one.
My first was born 1 week early.
My second was born 2 weeks early... but that was a c-section.
And they were both born over 8 pounds and 21" long.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

It's human nature. People do not think before they open their mouth. Plus your hormones are playing into it. I would try to comeback with a wise answer to put them in their place.

I have had many many surgeries. Have ostomies (2). Also a tube or two extra. So no bladder and most of my intestines missing. I have X-rays right and the techs, doc whoever, asks me if I had surgery. WTH. I say with a surprised, panicked look, no is there something wrong? Put them in their place. I mean like they could not see my insides missing etc. did they think I puked them up. Well you get the picture.

Congratulations and good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I was asked stuff like that a lot with my youngest because I was huge. Not so much with my first cause I hardly gained weight with him. People don't understand that a pregnant woman does not want to be told they are huge cause most that far along feel it but don't want to be told it they need to be told they look beautiful!!!!!!

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

I had a girl at church tell me (pregnant 9mths with second) that I was bigger than any pregnant woman she had ever seen! I still refer to her with that quote 18 yrs later..my hormones? They have lasted a long time!

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

OhMY! I gained 40 pounds with my first child and I'm just under 5'4" and weighed about 105 before the pregnancy. (and lost it all right after the pregnancy. You sound tiny!!
Remember the reason people want to hover and comment and somehow involve themselves in a conversation is the primal need to be part of new life, to be a tiny part of the miracle you are creating. They can just be idiots about it. I've probably said "wow, you have your hands full" to a woman with three little ones and a baby bump, but what I'm thinking is "I'm a little envious" It doesn't seem socially acceptable to say "I kinda want your baby" or "I want to be part of your miracle without actually helping pay for diapers, formula and college," but it seems socially acceptable to say Wow you're huge!
CONGRATULATIONS on the healthy pregnancy!!!

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K.P.

answers from Miami on

I remember thinking the same thing. At 5' tall, I looked "due" at 8 months and "overdue" by the end. It's kind of like the touching the belly thing...there's something about a pregnant woman that people think they have the right to comment/touch/inquire about things that they would not ask a nonpregnant woman.

Would a complete stranger come up and touch your stomach under normal circumstances? Nope. Would they comment on your breasts, as in "are you planning to breast feed"? Absolutely not. Your vagina (are you planning to deliver naturally?). I certainly hope not.

When people would comment about my "due-ness", I would just respond with an honest answer of my due date and walk away. I don't know why people do this. It's so rude and hurtful at that point in your pregnancy. I try to make a point of telling pregnant friends how wonderful they look and ask how they are feeling. Even if it's not true... geez. Cut a girl some slack!

1 mom found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i think its a lot to do with hieght and the fact you arent overweight so its all in the belly. To M. women that are short and thin pregnant looke HUGE too (i'd never say it) but then they are the same women who shrink back and look beautiful weeks after and i'm jealous of=)

I'm 6 foot and was only 23 when pregnant with emmy. people would argue with M. that i wasnt due when i was overdue because she had tons of space to stretch out.
i assume now that i'm older (30) when i get around to another that i will get comments like yours

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L.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I heard all those same things. (Except the tick... that's weird. What idiot thought that up?) Even people at my OFFICE (where we have training videos to teach you how to be professional) asked if I was having twins. My son was breach and taking up as much space and possible. The doctor kept sending me for ultrasounds because I was measuring big. Everywhere I went, people had to make comments (including cashiers at WaWa!)

I never say anything to pregnant women now. I assume they're sick of people asking them "When are you due? What are you having? etc etc" Just because I happen to be in an elevator with you doesn't mean I want you to know my personal story! Geez...

Hang in there, and lots of luck for a speedy delivery and healthy baby.

1 mom found this helpful

I.W.

answers from Portland on

I got that a lot with my first pregnancy. By the time I was 6 months pregnant, I looked 9. Even my doctor was convinced it was twins. It was annoying, but I ignored it for the most part.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

Tell them you're not pregnant :)

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm 5'7'' and if I started out pregnant at 120lbs or 175 I weighed close to 200 all three times (my body had it's own ideas about what I should weigh pregnant I guess.) I carried my weight EVERYWHERE each time and had trouble with the sock thing. My last pregnancy was later in life and highly monitored and yet I had multiple, multiple!! discussions (arguments) with my MOTHER about how she was sure, absolutely sure that the doctor was wrong about when I got pregnant (not possible), my due date and that she just knew I was carrying twins - at least. Made me BATTY!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.D.

answers from Boston on

I hear you. It is very annoying. A simple "u look great, good luck" should suffice. Someone told me that one hip was "much higher" and couldn't believe I didn't have back pain from it.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I got that when I was pregnant too. I had my son at 35 weeks and I was getting comments at 32 weeks with him. I'm short 5'3" so there is not much room except for the front. I hated the "are you having twins?" "you look like you're ready to pop" If you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. Also got these comments with my second pregnancy and she was born at 37 weeks so I had to put up with longer with her.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

I think people are just fascinated by a pregnant woman and become stupid in their comments. I too am short, and did not look pregnant from the back. Shocked a few people in grocery lines, lol! I gained 25 lbs with my first and only 10 lbs with my second(and he was 10 lbs at birth). With my first I had a lot of excess fluid, and I carried all in front, and I had a huge belly. I looked like I was carrying triplets by the time I was 6 months pregnant. People commented a lot about how big I was. With my son, I had a normal amount of fluid and so wasn't quiet as huge, but still got lots of comments. Both times everyone said i was having a boy by how I carried, all in front, but my first was a girl and my second a boy. So yep, I can relate and yep I think people are just fascinated and get stupid.

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