K.B.
You're going to have to find something you can stick to. Don't focus on becoming this overly organized person, if it's going to be a consent battle for you.
Honestly you probably use more time looking for things, than spending a few extra minutes a day putting things in a proper place.
Start in an area that you will be the most comfortable throwing things out or donating items. Maybe the kitchen will be a good start.
Just start in one cabinet. Anything that can be donated, do it. If it's a container that lost a lid and you never use it, toss it in a donate box. Donate any canned goods you know you won't use (check to make sure they aren't expired)
When you get ready to go grocery shopping. Look at your inventory of food and make a list of what you really need. When you get home put like items together.
As far as other rooms. Tackle one room at a time. Make 3 piles. Keep, Donate, trash. If you haven't used in within a year or you even forgot you had it. let someone else enjoy it and donate it. If it's an item that's beyond repair toss it. If you think to yourself "One day I might use it" remember if you haven't used it within the year, the likely hood you will use it again is slim... so donate it.
As far as staying organized. Keep the motto Everything has a place. Keep small baskets around the house. If an item is used, place it in the basket to be put away later. Spend 30 minutes a night emptying the baskets and placing the items in their proper place.
Playroom. Most of the time they are too full of toys. Leave enough toys that can be controlled and picked up on a daily basis. The other toys put away in containers to be switched out every couple of weeks. This will help a ton.
Laundry. Get yourself caught up. After that. Place a hamper in bedroom. When the hamper gets full. Take to the laundry room and sort them. Wash as you get a full load of clothes. Fold and put away as each load is finished.
You will find a balance, it may take a bit but it will happen. I hope your husband supports you in a positive way.
Best of Luck.