ok my husband and i have been over this situation before many times. anyways heres what happened.
my husband has an ebay business selling body jewelry and will mail out the product a few times a week. he usually has this done before i am even up in the morning. what irks me is that he feels ok to leave our 4 year old daughter in the house with out telling me hes leaving (because i am still sleeping). i get really upset with him when he does this explaining to him that what if she got in to something and hurt herself or got the wild idea that she should go outside in the front yard. i told him that i dont like to wake up to my 4 year old coming in crying because daddy left her and me thinking he left her in a house where the only other person here was sleeping!. he doesnt seem to take it seriously and tells me i should just drop it. i tell him that if he doesnt want to take her then he needs to wake me up before he leaves so i can watch her. what are your opinions?
thank you all for the advice.
my husband knows i have sleep issues (i rarely sleep more then 2 hours straight and im awake for atleast 30 mins everytime i wake). i refuse to take sleeping pills because i can not sleep lite enough to be able to hear my daughter in case she wakes. he gets home at 7:30a does his orders and goes to the post office. he doesnt even come in the room to let me know he is leaving. usually my daughter is asleep with me in my bed (since my mil usually ends up being so loud getting ready my kid wakes between 5 and 6a). the issue is when shes awake and i dont know it and he leaves not awaring me of her being up.
Call the non emergency police line, give them the scenario and ask them what the law will allow and who's side they will be on.
You could set your alarm clock.
I'm sorry J., I would probably specifically ask every night whether he'll be up and out, and when he says yes, I'd probably get up with him just to be sure.
:)
Your husband needs to be slapped upside the head.
This is wrong on sooo many levels.....
If your daughter thinks she's been left home alone - what if she walks to a neighbors house? Or worse - gets hit by a car trying to "get help"....this is TOTALLY irresponsible of him to do this!
What gets me? Is I have an ebay business as well...as long as the items are not being mailed overseas - the postman will pick them up from your front door or mail box. He can schedule pick ups with the USPS as well....so there is NO NEED FOR HIM TO LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!!!
Have a serious chat with him - tell him that he does NOT leave the house withOUT telling you he is leaving and your daughter is up...even if she is NOT up - he needs to tell you when he is leaving so you can listen for your daughter!!
Tell him to start scheduling pick ups with the USPS as well.
How early are we talking? Post offices open at 8am normally. Most functioning adults are normally awake at that time, unless they have a night shift at their job, etc. So, why can't you just get up with her? I'm assuming your DD wakes around roughly the same time each day, so it shouldn't be an issue to do so. Is she still asleep when he leaves? If so, tell her to come in the room with you when she wakes.
Just as frustrated as you are that he leaves & doesn't tell you, he may be just as annoyed that you aren't getting up with your DD to supervise her, especially because it sounds like he goes at roughly the same time when he goes to the PO. You could just set an alarm on those days.
What time is he waking up and what time is he leaving for the post office? I know that ours doesn't open before 8:00. Do you really not wake-up when he gets up and when she gets up? He's not seeing where this is a big deal and he won't until something bad happens, which is simply not worth it.
You need to wake up earlier. Set an alarm if you sleep through him getting up, dressed and ready and her getting up. I don't know about your child, but my 3 year old is LOUD even when he's being "quiet".
I agree with you. At 4, I believe she needs someone awake and with her.
Geez, what time does the post office open in the morning? Not before 8, certainly? I'm thinking an alarm clock, if you can't get up by 8, is a good thing too.
Me: I will always wake my husband just to say "Hey, I'm leaving, the boys are in bed" if I have a really early errand to run, or am leaving while everyone's napping. He says ok, and I leave his door open so he can hear better, and lock up everything. Very rarely, if I've been sick and had a really bad night (like last night---coughing allllllll night long), I'll stay in bed but he will peek in on our oldest and set him up with nick jr on tv and a cup of juice on the bottom shelf of the fridge, then he opens my door and goes to work. He tries to let me sleep in, but usually the garage door closing wakes my youngest and I get up then. (Youngest has a child proofed room and a safety gate on his door, door shut, and he'll just cry out for me when he wakes up). You're right to be aggravated though; you've requested that you be at least warned to "listen for" your child. A very reasonable, if not necessary request.
You are 110% correct!!! There is no way a 4 year should be left unsupervised. I can only begin to imagine the ways your daughter could get injured in a very short period of time.
I agree with you - if he doesn't want to take her with him then he should wake you up.
You are right, he needs to wake you up before leaving!
Oh God, yes, you are right!! There's no way my husband would leave my daughter unattended while I was sleeping.
I am torn about this. In my case I work late some evenings, till midnight, I need my 8 hours of sleep otherwise I am super cranky. Hubby gets up at 5:30am and leaves around 6:45am for work. If my daughter wakes up as he is leaving he sets her up with breakfast and cartoons, tells her that mommy is sleeping still and let me sleep... of course I hear all of this so with-in 30 mins of her waking I am up. He started doing this around age 4. I also have told my daughter that if she ever gets up and no one else is awake to come wake me, that it is ok.
First he should tell daughter, at the very least, that mommy is upstairs sleeping so she knows she is not home alone. As well as tell her to stay inside or get mommy if she needs something.
Secondly if this really irks you then YOU have to make the steps to change it, others do not change as easily. When does the post office open, since he goes a lot be up before he leaves. Yes it would be responsible of hubby to let you know he is going but obviously he is not taking it to heart with your talks. This means YOU have to do something different about the situation.
Do you work nights or late, hubby could be trying to be nice and let you sleep. That is usually the case with me. If you do not work nights or late be up before he usually leaves and DO NOT rely on him, you are an adult too and have the power to make changes.
Maybe he needs to get the product out ASAP it is his business so good for him on being on top of it. Is he out before 7am? I am usually up, even if I worked late, by 7am because my other job is being a MOM and if I have to drag myself out of bed earlier then I would like I will do that to take care of my daughter. Yes he should letting you know he is gone, yes leaving a child alone (or they think they're alone) is not resposible, but you also need to own up to getting up instead of just blaming hubby for not waking you up.
Sorry if I sound harsh, I understand needing sleep but I make sure I am up if my hubby is leaving & daughter is awake. I do not rely on hubby to wake me, I ask him what his plans are for the morning to leave for work or run errands, then I set my alarm to wake me. Be proactive.
omg you're totally right. he needs to wake you up. make a big stink about it and then he'll do it just to avoid getting into a huge fight with you.
