I'm a Horrible Mom!!!!

Kids are supposed to play and enjoy life - you get bruises along the way. It means you are taking advantage of what life has to offer. You could "shelter her" but you would squelch her spirit and joy... who would want to do that?

Good for her for being active... she can do ANYTHING she wants and does not have to be left out because she's a girl!
To protect her use common sense and don't worry about bruised legs!
Good luck!

That would make many of us bad moms. my daughter even like to play cars and other boys things with her only uncle growing up. she is one of the roughest lil girls i know with bumps and bruises that never stop her on her missions. and she makes it clear shes a girl not a boy. i love my lil tom boy and would want her to change that unless she wanted to with age...

If you're a horrible mom, then so am I because all 3 of our girls are like that...most of the time. I would rather have my daughter be like that than to be a very dependent, clingy, whiny person her entire life.

Tell your MIL that you'd rather that your daughter has bruises on her legs than bruises on her feelings from being told she can't do things just because she's a girl. Marks left on the outside heal much more readily than ones left on the inside.

Yaaay for 'I can do it!' girls! I wouldn't try to change her behavior... However, foods high in vitamin C and foods that contain chemical compounds called flavonoids naturally help the body fight bruises and recover quicker from bruises.

FYI, Foods Rich in Flavonoids:
Onion (bulb)
Lettuce (whole plant)
Basil (leaf)
Cranberry (fruit)
Garlic (bulb)
Cabbage (leaf)
Kale (leaf)
Brussels sprouts (axillary bud)
Kohlrabi (shoot)
Spinach (leaf)
Asparagus (root)
Fennel (fruit)
Soy (seed)
Scarlet runner bean (whole plant)
Lima bean (leaf)
Kidney bean (fruit)
Garden pea (shoot)
Adzuki bean (seed)

Let her be a kid, regardless of it's girly or tomboy. How would your MIL like to be made to be someone she's not? I'm pretty sure if you put ten 9 year olds in a line wearing shorts, most of them would have bruised legs. You're a great mom, because you're letting her be herself! :)

P.S. - did your MIL suggest the bubble wrap? If so, have your daughter wear it next time she comes over - LOL :)

I had older brothers too and still try to keep up with them now! HA I still get bruises all the time....we play lots of family sports, etc. Not to mention all three of my girls are always bruised up from playing...whether it's rough housing, sports or hitting the chair while being chased by eachother. Who cares...bruises from playing means you having fun...tell your MIL to pull the stick out and get a couple bruises herself! YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE MOM!!! LOL

Tell your MIL that you are not going to hold your daughter back because of a sexist idea that girls have to be gentle, prim and quiet.
It's normal for kids legs to be covered in bruises because that means they are active and enjoying life. My daughter is only 3 but she has the same zest for life that your daughter has.
You are not a horrible mom! In my opinion, "bubble wrapping", so to speak, is worse than allowing kids to do things that bruise their legs.
Keep up the good work!

Yes, you are a horrible mom, and so am I! Seriously? I'm glad you're comfortable letting your daughter be herself and not a china doll.

I was a tomboy growing-up and was constantly bruised. When we took our son into the pediatrician for his well baby visits around 1 year-18 months, we'd always explain the bruises on his legs, and the pediatrician's response was "I'm more concerned about the kids that come in without bruises than the ones who do. At least I know you're just letting him be a kid."

You can't keep her protected........especially not if she's like me and is a complete klutz. But, it didn't keep me from being a really good athlete. I just had lots of bruises and battle scars for which I am proud.

My daughter does not have any brothers or cousins to play with and she is always bruised on her legs. We are always worried school is going to call on us because she is just an adventurous girl. Climbing trees, playing games, riding bikes, skating, you name it and a black and blue spot will get on my daughters legs. I think your MIL has forgotten what it's like to be/or have kids. I also have friends who have kids who are older than my 8 year old and they are the same way. I wouldn't worry about it, and tell your MIL to mind her own business. You shouldn't inhibit your daughters fun to spare a few harmless bruises. Tights are a wonderful invention for going out in public with an active girl who may have bruised legs from lots of fun.

Ha ha! Sounds like my MIL with other things we do (like eating healthy). Bruises are natural on kids. In fact, my 22 month old son, 4 year old daughter and I always have bruises running down our shins. We are always doing some sort of physical activity, so they just appear.

Your daughter can take care of herself, apparently. Is she happy? Healthy? Then I wouldn't worry at all. Enjoy it until the hormones kick in and she needs/wants all the new clothes.

Kids are supposed to have grazed knees and bruises , whether male or female. My daughter is girly & loves pink , princesses and ballet , she also likes to climb trees and dig for worms , infact she is currently sporting a dark purple/black bruise on her shin!

Tell your MIL to relax and then ignore her comments. Your daughter has bruises from living and enjoying life. What child doesn't get bruises from time to time? They heal. You know this and you also probably know that MIL is just talking to hear herself speak.

to heck with your mother in law! unless shes a pageant kid i wouldnt worry about her having bumps a bruises. she wants to be apart of the boys and thats ok. im sure if she has girl cousins she would be a little different.
I have a 3 year old daughter that love princesses, dress up and anything girly! but turn the wii on and she wants to do the hunting games and shoot the animals, she also loves to get dirty. also she does do pageants so i just try to tame her down for the week before thats it.

I didn't read all of the responses, but I love Jane's answer. I, too, have that "I can do" girl. In fact, one of her 1st words were "I do". She is always telling me she can do it, no matter that she's never even seen whatever it is she wants to do. And, she loves to wrestle with her brother. She a little more than 1/2 his size, yet she gives as good as she gets. She can bring him down with a body slam. I once heard someone say something to the effect of "What we don't really like in the girl, we'll love in the woman". Which to me means that as an adult, she'll be assertive, strong, and go after whatever it is she wants to do & do it well.

Get "Arnica Gel" for her bruises. I highly recommend it.
Its all natural and works well.
You can get it from Whole Foods or any natural food store.
Its good for bruises and sore muscles... can be used on children or adults. Many athletes also use it.

Next, well, you have an active girl who is not afraid of physical activity nor boys. Good for her.
Each child being different. Thus, she gets bruised up on her legs. It happens. My daughter is 7 and she gets bumped just playing in the park... and bruised on her shins from the jungle gym or playing with her scooter or with her brother. Sometimes she doesn't even realize she got bruised. She also takes Karate, so she gets bruised from that too.
All in a days activities.

But, if her bruises are real bad, and so many... maybe just ask the Pediatrician.
You can't completely tell your daughter not to play outside and be a wallflower. That is her personality, to engage with all types of activities and she sounds physical and social and active.

Your MIL, should not equate that with you being a 'bad' Mom. That is not rational.

all the best,
Susan

Yes, you're a Horrible Mom!!!!, Nah, Just Kidding. My son is 3 and his legs are always covered in bruises, I don't think there's a way to protect your kids from bruises, it would be like protecting them from playing, maybe she doesnt even play that rough but has a sensitive skin, like my husband, who we kid a lot because he bruises really easily. Like other moms said, who cares, as long as she is having fun, and is not doing anything dangerous, its ok!!

Well, I'm 26 and I still have bruises on my legs and most of the time I have no idea how I got them!! hahaha

I played with the boys when I was growing up too. Out in the dirt, rocks, climbing trees, etc. I think I turned out ok!

Ask your MIL if she would be that concerned if she was a boy? I was a rambunctious tomboy as a kid and often heard comments like "young ladies don't climb trees' and such. It made me angry and want to roughouse even more. I learned to do all the things my brother did, and today I am a very capable woman who can repair most of the things around the house, isn't afraid of bugs or other creepy-crawlies, and isn't afraid to get dirty. I feel like having the freedom and experiences I did made me a stronger person, and that has only been a good thing in my life.

Tell MIL that DD will one day put on pretty dresses and flirt with the boys instead of wrestling with them, but for now this is what's right for her, and will make her a stronger, more able woman in the future.

is she concerned about her brothers bruises?
if not, i'd say she's sexist.
just sayin.

Please tell your mother-in-law to get over herself. Kids get bruises... whether they're boys or girls. And really, who likes those kids (again, boys or girls) who whine at every little thing? The kids' parents and grandparents, probably, but not too many other people, lol.

When my daughter was nine she was wrestling the boys and chasing dogs, bringing me home snakes, frogs and worms!!! She worked at a barn shoveling horse poop!! She was bruised all over. She is a tomboy just like mine still is. She is now 22 and her favorite sport is still horses and the UFC. I just got her tickets to. So your daughter is just fine. Let her be who she is, tell MIL that she is just being herself.

Wow! I guest your MIL didn't get the memo that times have changed. Girls run and jump and have adventures outdoors.

Our daughter has bruised legs this summer as well, and during our last pediatrician visit, the only comment from the Dr. was, "Wow. Those look like active legs!"

I'm not sure you need to "protect her" -- as long as she's making good choices and not getting into danger, she AND you, and doing a great job.

Updated

Wow! I guest your MIL didn't get the memo that times have changed. Girls run and jump and have adventures outdoors.

Our daughter has bruised legs this summer as well, and during our last pediatrician visit, the only comment from the Dr. was, "Wow. Those look like active legs!"

I'm not sure you need to "protect her" -- as long as she's making good choices and not getting into danger, she AND you, and doing a great job.

Updated

Wow! I guest your MIL didn't get the memo that times have changed. Girls run and jump and have adventures outdoors.

Our daughter has bruised legs this summer as well, and during our last pediatrician visit, the only comment from the Dr. was, "Wow. Those look like active legs!"

I'm not sure you need to "protect her" -- as long as she's making good choices and not getting into danger, she AND you, and doing a great job.

I have to say you're a wonderful mom. Ditto for the advice you've been given. One point I'd like to make is when you're daughter is older she will know how to handle boys. She won't be intimidated. Plus she is learning how to have male friends, so much better than thinking every boy is a potential new boyfriend! My daughter has always played with boys, with boys' toys. She would play sports with the boys at recess because she is just as good as they are. She also has girlfriends.

My 14 yr old son is 3x my 11 yr old daughters weight and a foot taller. He is rough and can be intimidating. My daughter has learned to take care of herself because of dealing with him. She's the "protector" of many of her friends at school (male and female) because she isn't afraid and doesn't take any garbage from anyone. On the other hand she is growing up and more conscious of her looks and actions. What she's learned she won't lose and she's becoming a young lady too.

I think your daughter is growing up just fine and has probably learned to be assertive because of dealing with the boys. Good job, mom!

Thank God for mom's like you!! You are great because you are giving her the freedom to show what she can do. I have three brothers and I was like your daughter. I played with my brothers so rough that I would get some good bruises, and well cuts too. But you know I wouldn't of changed any of that. That is why I thank my mom for being so caring and letting me do what I did. I got to be tough through most of my elementry years but you know once you get to a certain age you start caring about how you look and well boys come along. Just let your MIL make her comments and nod. Because it really is up to you and your husband.

Sounds to me like you're doing everything right! She's confident and knows how to take care of herself! Good job Mom!!

Well your MIL is from a different generation. It was probably not considered socially acceptable at one time. Girls are just as capable as boys in every way.
I have two boys my youngest is a girl also. She is always doing wantever her big brothers are doing.
Just stay calm. Simple tell your mother in law that the two of you are both great moms ...just in different ways.

Haha! I only wanted to say EXACTLY what the gal below me said! Arnica for bruising and MILs are to be taken with a spoonful of sugar...or a shot of tequilla! :)

You are not a horrible Mom, not at all. If your Daughter is 9 then she's basically stuck in her ways. Shes surrounded by boys for crying out loud, how else would she act/play. Your MIL is just being overly cautious I think. Tell her just to chill, obviousley your Daughter can handle herself. If things get too out of hand then of course step in. But if thats how shes been playing all these years, why change it now?
Good Luck S. in Vegas

So what? Who Cares? give it a couple yrs, when she starts caring, they will no longer be bruised. She is 9!

I was an only child and my legs were all bruised up constantly! So even without brothers it can happen! If she's active, she's bound to show the after effects. Don't worry about anyone else's opinions, you're a good mother and your daughter's just fine! By the way, Arnica Gel is great for minimizing bruises.

I have 3 daughters and I can't count how many cuts/scrapes/bruises/injuries that they have given eachother LOL

Tell your MIL that she is a NORMAL HEALTHY HAPPY KID and if she is worried that the boys wont like her as she gets older - she is WRONG!!! Most of my friends were guys and they all said if we werent best friends I would be the perfect girlfriend b/c I wasn't afraid of getting dirty or playing rough but I "cleaned up ok" LOL

You are NOT a horrible Mom! I used to be a tomboy when I was your daughter's age and did all the things my brothers and their friends would do, I even wore their hand me down clothes. The main issue is that she is safe and having fun. She will outgrow this stage when she's ready. Tell your MIL that you support your daughter's choices and be happy that she gets along so well with her brothers and cousins.

R u kiDding me???!!! You are a wonderful mom for giving your daughter the freedom to be who she is! Tell your mil to shove it. :-)
PS- I think u should print the responses out and show her so she gets the point

Give her arnica montana (a homeopathic remedy available in most health food stores, and I think a couple of main stream pharmacies) to help with the bruises, and tell MIL to take a hike. She's having fun, and bruises are common. I spent my entire childhood black and blue.

First off, is she worried about your sons? Or the other 13 grandsons? And how old is your MIL??? Cause the days of girls sitting pretty and having a tea party with her dolls is long gone! I was the girl who threw rocks, rode bikes, and climbed trees all while wearing a dress! I remember my mom telling me to sit properly while in my cheer uniform and I told her "mom, you paid for these bloomers, you may as well see 'em!" Girls can and do everything these days. If she is getting bruised but still getting up and doing it again she should admire her spirit and strength. And know that those characteristics will stay with her as she gets older and won't put up with boys and or boyfriends that think they can push her around, AND that's a good thing!!! You are a good mom for loving and supporting your daughter. Tell your MIL to stuff it! Do not wrap her in bubble wrap and go enroll that little lively girl in something! Can't wait to hear stories of home runs, game winning baskets, awesome spikes in volleyball and overall GIRL POWER! hint hint: I hear Roller Derby is getting started for younger girls!!

does she think she won't get bruises from doing traditional girl activities? hello I use to have bruises (not to mention blisters!) from ballet.

No opinion. Just wanted to tell you I "heart" your so what happened? update. You sound like you are doing a great job raising your daughter to become a strong, smart, daring woman. And also sounds like your MIL is doing her job well...Namely, spoilng her only granddaughter. Your DD has the best of both worlds.

MIL should stay out of it. It sounds like your daughter has a strong will, and knows what she likes. You could just tell grandma to talk to your daughter herself, and let your daughter tell her to her face why she enjoys these activities.

Maybe if she keeps telling your MIL she's out of bounds with your support and blessing behind the scenes (otherwise granny will say you're turning the child against her) she may not like it, but will hopefully eventually just back off when she sees the girl doesn't value her opinion.