If You Could Go Back in Time and Change One Thing...

I think it would have not married my first husband. I had a feeling before we got married that he was not the right one for me but I was too young and foolish to know that there would be someone better out there for me. I was also afraid of calling off the wedding for fear of disappointing everyone. Now that I am older and am finally married to the right guy for me, I realize now how I had really sold myself short just to be in a relationship. But what a good lesson for me to learn and to pass on to my daughter when the time is right.

I love my life the way that it is... But if I could change one thing, and still have the life I have now, it would be that my cousin and I didn't fight right before I moved. She was my best friend for over 22 years, we had a huge falling out that lasted for a couple of months before I moved, but by the time I left we weren't even talking any more. Now it has been over a year since I have talked to her. I truly miss my BFF, it's almost an actual physical pain. :(

ok, i have to take the lighter road with this since the real stuff is much too real, but i wish i had worn a bra more often when i didnt need one. i wish i didnt spend the better part of my 15-25 years coating myself with baby oil and crisping up at the beach. i wish i had traveled more when i was young and stupid. and i wish i had talked to my grandparents more about their "old days" while i was lucky enough to have them.

Easy! I would not date before marriage.
Had I not dated and chosen instead to find my husband God's way, I would not have stolen my best friend's boyfriend, and I would not have had premarital sex. That is my one regret in life. I would have loved to have my wedding night be my first time.

Can't. There are many things I regret / would TOTALLY do differently now if they happened in the present... but all of my mistakes or right turns at Albuquerque have led me to where I'm at today.

I'm pretty sure that's where the whole "Youth is wasted on the young" comment springs from.

You said it: every decision does impact our lives, no matter how trivial or how monumental.

I have mulled this over from time to time. For every decision I have made, my life has been molded a certain way, and it has led me to be the person I am today. If I changed even one thing, it could have led me down a completely different path. Although I do have things I like and things I do not like about my life and circumstances, I honestly would not change a thing.

If you want to play the "What If" game, what if you had done that one thing different and you were in a worse place rather than a better one? Or WHAT IF you had went away and met another man you eventually married? Would you then be saying WHAT IF you had stayed home with your HS sweetheart? Life has too many variables. Just keep living!

Good question. I wish I could change a close family member's estrangement from me---but because of the circumstances...there isn't anything I could have done to change it through my own behavior. If it wasn't one thing, it would have been another. .
As for my own behavior...I might wish not to react in anger a few times, with my kids, when another reaction might have been more helpful.

I would never have married my first husband and I would never have let my step son move back in with mom so maybe he would still be alive. and his brother wouldn't have been strung out on drugs because of it. oh if we could change the past. I do realize I couldn't have prevented my step son from moving back in with mom but what would have happened if I could. just pondering how it would have turned out if I could have kept him with us.

I wish I would not have admitted to my best friend from high school that during freshman year I had tried to avoid her. I think I did irreperable damage to our relationship since we drifted soon afterwards.

The one thing...

I would have broken up with my college boyfriend BEFORE I went to Europe for 7 weeks after graduation, instead of waiting till we got back and he broke up with me... I could have had more fun if I was single on that trip ;)

HA! That was easier than I thought it would be. Other than that, I seriously wouldn't change one thing! I have a wonderful husband, and three great kids.

J

Most of the big decisions I am happy with. Yes, if I started working out or saving for my retirement earlier in my 20's I'd be a bit better off. Also, there are a lot of things I would still do but perhaps manage more gracefully with the benefits of experience. I would have liked to have my kids a few years sooner (before my late 30's) but I the kids I have are great kids and I was doing other important stuff.

This is an easy one for me. There is only one thing that I would give almost anything for. I wish I could have been by my dads side the day he passed away.
I was 6 hours away, and had just left him 10pm the night before. My boyfriend had asked me if I wanted to just leave the next morning, I said no, lets start driving to get it over with. I really wish I would have stayed.
Thats my one thing.
Great post!

There are lots of things I thought of but then you have to remember you can only change decisions you made, how things were for you and possibly what happened and not change someone else or their life's experiences.
Mine would have to be not being so vulnerable when it comes to Men. I think I always had such a curiosity because my dad and I were not really close due to his life's choices. This vulnerability w/men lead to being sexually active with an older man at work when I was a teenager, a handful of one night stands in college and also a pregnancy in my late twenties when I placed a baby boy for adoption. If I would have worked more on my self-image, self-esteem etc. and not allowed myself to be so vulnerable, these things would not have happened. However, I would NOT change the growth I've had as an individual, the lessons I learned from those experiences and how I will be able to help someone else or be a listening ear for other women. I think that may have been more than one thing-dang!

oh there's so many things! lol! i do wish though i had gone to college for nursing...i was too scared & thought i'd do better in social services, so i have a degree in sociology. i've enjoyed my career thus far in social work, but not a month goes by (except lately b/c i now have a job i actually LOVE), that i don't wish i'd gone to school for nursing....when i was young, could work crazy shifts to get ahead, could make money for savings, didn't have a husband (still don't thankfully!) and didn't have a child to worry about childcare, quality time, etc....now it's not even something i can fathom doing until my little boy's grown up & out of the house b/c of course i can't work the crazy shifts or work FT, raise baby boy alone, and go to such a difficult profession.

anyway - that's it!! but....all in all....as tough as life actually is for me (finances, unmarried, etc.) if i'd changed anything else, i wouldn't have gotten married, then divorced, then met my ex, w/whom i had my sweet baby with...so i can't really change anything else!
sorry for the long post, but i really loved your question & actually had time to think about it & write it b/c my son's w/his daddy! :)

thank you!!! :)

I think it would be moving before we sold our other house. We did the stupid thing of buying a house while our other house was still for sale- this happened right before the big housing crash- our home value went from 115,000 to selling it a year later for 85,000! It wouldn't have been so bad had we waited to buy a house here- we could've saved 5-10 thousand....oh well, live and learn! We are still paying on the loan we had to take out to sell! Argh! Should have done that one differently! :)
~C.

Easy one... I would not have had my tubes tied at such a young age (32, almost 33). My two kids are more than I could have ever hoped for, but the TL decision has caused me much pain, depression, and has brought up so many issues because of its repercussions. Now I'm facing the biggest decision of our lives - to go forward with IVF for another child or work like hell to get past this. Either way, I have to get past it. I was younger and impulsive and hormonal and I regret it every day.

I wish i hadnt watched so much tv when i was a kid.

if i were to go back in time i would have gone along with the plans i had after high school. i love my life now but off and on i wonder the what if's.....when i was 18 my bf (hubby now) cheated on me and i found out.i had a choice to wait for him to get bk home or for me to go home and that would be it. i wonder sometimes if i had ended it that day and left him for good who would i be with now...just how would my life be....we have a beautiful 6 yr old daughter now and i dont regret any decisions i have made...

probably to prevent the death of my parents or my husband's parents

It is a hard one because looking back at it there are a lot of decisions that led to opportunities and experiences that I would never take back. BUT...I have lived in San Francisco & Santa Cruz (1/2 mile from the beach) and didn't take advantage of my location as much as I should have. I'm kind of a home-body. If i had to do it over again I would go and explore my area more often. Now that I have kids I go out a lot more to parks, amusement parks, museums, libraries, community activities & such. I even trek over to the beach much more during the summer than I ever did when I lived there.
Suzy & her men

I wish I had been a sahm when my son was a baby. I miss those days so much!!! They grow up so fast. I had to work full time so he went to daycare. I did what was necessary at the time, but I wish it was different back then.
I'm sure my husband & I could've made it work for me to stay home, but neither of us really had that mind set. I've always worked, thats just who I am. As our son got older I made sure things were different. Over the years I started working part time, I felt like I wanted to make up for lost time ya know. My son & I are extremely close and he's my side-kick :) . But gee I sure miss those toddler days when I could scoop him up in my arms and he couldn't talk back. lol

Some things are just too personal. :-) Be glad that that's the biggest thing you could come up with.