Our family is moving, having a baby, and some of us have some other health issues.
Recently someone from church offered to make us a meal. I wasn't sure if it was ediquite to tell her my husband can't have milk, cheese, or butter. So I didn't tell her. The meal she made was a crock pot roast with carrots and potatoes (perfect for my husband). But if this situation should arrise again. Is it proper to tell them what allergies he has?
I figure they are doing us a favor and I don't want to make it more difficult for them to find a recipe that they can use. If they did bring a meal with milk in it - the kids and I would eat it and I could make something different for hubby.
What do you think?
I will tell those who offer to make us a meal that my husband is lactose intollerant.
Thanks for your advice.
It is a touchy subject, but you need to tell the offerer about the allergies. Most will understand and make something that will accommodate. I am vegetarian and have to say so all the time. It can be uncomfortable, but I would hate to have someone waste food because I didn't tell them.
I know I'm late here, but wanted to add my thoughts anyway.
I think a very polite way to tell someone about the food issue is to "politely protest" when someone offers to make a meal for your family. Something like this:
Friend: S., I would really like to make a meal for your family. What day would be best for you?
You: Thank you so much for the offer, but I'm afraid that would be too much trouble because my husband is lactose intolerant.
Friend: No trouble at all... I'm sure I can find something lactose free to make for you.
You: Well, if you're sure you wouldn't mind, we would appreciate that!
That way, you politely mention the issue and give the person an "out" if they want one.
I would tell them about the allergies since they probably want to be helpful for the whole family but also mention that you and kids could eat the food, so that they have the option. I don't think it's rude at all.
I think it is okay to tell them. They are trying to help...and bringing something everyone can't eat isn't helpful.
Absolutely!! I've made meals for friends with allergies and I'd be upset if I found out later on that I made a meal that someone couldn't eat.
Hi S.,
I just finished a year of being the Care Team Leader for my MOPS (Moms of Pre-Schoolers) group. It was a very rewarding year because I was able to help our moms in their time of need by scheduling meal deliveries from our membership.
We definitely ask if there are any food allergies/restrictions/dislikes/etc. We would never want to take food to a family that would make one family member sick.
Thank those that bring you a meal and then allow that support and love to comfort you and your family.
D.
I went through this with my son's milk allergy which thankfully he outgrew by age 2. Now we're going through it because high oxalate that causes kidney stones. People want you help you and they need to know your family's restrictions in order to truly be able to help. Don't feel bad about it. I often ask what kind of meal they were thinking about preparing and then I make suggestions on how to make it make it best for us. I alway thank them heavily for their time and efforts to accomidate us and help us out.
How often has this happened? If one or more people regularly make you food, perhaps you can alert them to his allergies. It's kind of touchy situation, people are simply trying to be kind and helpful, so I'd be a bit hesitant about saying anything. I think it depends on how well you know these kind folks. If just acquaintances, I'd say thank you and say nothing. Hope I helped, That's what I'd do!
I am on the meals ministry in our church and we absolutely need to know about allergies. We even ask for a list of likes/dislikes. Trust me, nobody wants to make a meal for you that you can't eat/don't like!
Speak up...we want to help you, not make more stress! :)
Yes you should definately tell them of any food allergies if they do not ask. It is an important thing that they need to know. It is definately not being rude. :) Good Luck.
I can't have MSG, if I do I am sick for 3 days. I always tell people I can't have MSG and I always ask at a restaurant if there is MSG in the food. Many people don't even realize that they use MSG but if they prepare a meal using canned soup or broth there is probably MSG in it. I always ask if there is a food allergy or extreme dislike to something before I make a dinner for anyone.
You should definitely tell them about food allergies ... if they make something that you or your family can not eat, they may feel badly if they didn't know. It isn't poor etiquette to say that there is something your family can not eat. When ever I offer to make food for someone, I always ask if there is anything they can't eat. Good luck!
Hi S.,
I agree with Lacy if I was making a meal for someone I would want them to all be able to eat it not make more work for you.
Chris
