Ideas for Support During Illness

That is very nice of all of you. Having been in a situation where there was a long term illness I can say all help and visits are appreciated. May I suggest going beyond food, into yard and house work, running errands and sending Mom out for a spa day about 3 weeks into it? DOn't ask what you can do...they will probably turn away help. Just go DO it. Call and ask when a convinient time is, then go in, tell her to sit and go strip her beds, clean her bathroom and kitchen and fold her towels. Get a group to put up their X-mas lights. Bring crafts or stuff for mani-pedis for the girl if she is up to it. Maybe you can all learn to knit or crochet and make her hats as a project with her. Bring the fun to her....movie night? Bring soda, popcorn and drinks. Take the dogs for a walk, help with the other pets if there are any.

Most of all, keep it up and don't overdo. Once or twice a week and rotate duties...maybe one of 2 meals a week. This is going to go on for a long time for them and they will need support after the new wears off. SO pace yourselves. Send cards, leave notes around the house for them to find with encoraging words. Don't forget all of the family, take the other kids (if there are any) out too.

Good luck, I hope she fights and beats her illness.Remember not to let this define her, or them. Your job is to hepl with the normal.

Hi,

I read your article and I would like to help. My business is in sending out greeting cards. My entire card company family are always sending out cards to sick, terminally ill, injured etc. people.

If you can get the physical address of this girl, I will do my part and recruit my friends to send out cards to her. You can bet it will be more than a few! : ) She will think she is a rock star!

I look forward in hearing back from you and I will say prayers for her as well. The Lord will bless you for what you are doing for this young girl!

Sincerely,
K. O. *

I think your ideas sound great! I bet they'd really like a gift card for food when she's in the hospital. That would help tremendously and also make them feel cared for.
Way to go!!

I love the idea of bringing goodies over, watching movies, dancing. Just being silly. Also, once she starts to loose her hair. The girls could go shopping for cute hats for her and themselves. It would be fun for them to all try on hats together at her house---and don't forget to take pictures in all of the hats!

Your church friends are greatly appreciated during times of sickness. I was diagnosed with cancer lately and my church family was great. I am doing wonderful. I think that anything you do, preparing a meal or gift card would be appreciated greatly. I will pray for this girl and wish her the best.

Yes My family will pray for her fool recovery and the strengh for her family! I think its a great idea to cook a meal or two, bake some cookies and take to the parents house or grandparents. Offer them some house work that yr daughter and her friends can do..laundry, sweeping. Bring a gift basket to the hospital with some CD's magasines, chapstick, candy, puzles, if she has younger siblings some coloring books and markers and snacks for them 2. And have yr daughter make a get well poster for her and put it on her hosp door. Have a fundraser 2 collect some money to help the parents...Yr daughter is a big hearted teen, let her c that one person CAN make a difference! God bless all of you!

I just lost my mother after a long battle with cancer, and I'd just like to reiterate what these other awesome moms have said... However you choose to do it, pace yourselves. Choose a day a week/month and do something little for them that will lift their spirits. My mom got a variety of little gifts from all kinds of people... one was a little bell she could ring for 'service' when she needed something from my dad... one was an 'I Feel Good' button (kind of like a Staples 'Easy' button, but played the beginning of the song)... one was a little plaque that said 'Put on your big girl panties and deal with it' (something she said often)... None of these things cost the giver a lot of money, but they all brought a smile to our faces every time we saw them... even now that we've lost her, they continue to bring us joy. Good LUCK!
-H

I'd find out if she has a Facebook page and encourage lots of Church Members/School kids to be-friend her and post something on her page DAILY.
I'd also encourage your daughter and her friends to find out what kind of cookies etc.. she likes (like is she a HUGE fan of apple cider/egg nog) and bring that type thing to her. Even if she doesn't feel like eating/drinking it she will feel special that they want to give her things she likes.
Also-I think it would Be Fantastic if your daughter and friends could mobilize the youth group and put on a benefit concert to help her parents with medical expenses.
Just some thougths-the girl will be in my prayers. Please let us know how she does ok?

When I was a young teen I had a friend who had cancer. Us being there for her, and her knowing that no matter what happened, we would be there for her, really helped. We took turns going to her house, or going to the hospital, going to her treatments with her, and also had dinner parties and pajama parties so she would see us altogether.It was very hard to watch our friend go through this, and it would have been easy to just go on with our lives and not be there for her, but it meant even more (to all of us) to be there and support her and each other.
Our friend had a hard time when she lost her energy, her voice, her hair.. and it took time and effort to help her to understand that those things made no difference, we loved her the same. I saw someone before mention buying hats and such, go for it! We had a blast with those things, and bought her silly wigs too (which we all wore).
I think it is amazing that your daughter wants to help this girl, she must be a wonderful person.
I'll keep you all in my prayers, and hope things go well for all involved.

One thing I've noticed is that kids seem to get a lot of attention at first, and then it dies off. It would be great to set up some kind of schedule for visits if you can so that doesn't happen. Video games are great, gift cards to restaurants near the hospital are good too because that food gets old after a while. Large posters are also cheery, and with Christmas coming, maybe the girls could decorate a small tree and bring it, or just show up and decorate the room to surprise her.

I was 13 the first time I had a friend my age die of cancer (14 and 17 the second and third times), so the best advice I can give is for your daughter. The most important thing is that they keep acting normal. The same goes for any younger people who might go visit this girl. She just wants to be seen as normal, not as "the girl who has cancer." When they visit her in the hospital, even if it makes them uncomfortable, don't act that way. Act like it's normal. Don't ask her about what's going on but do allow her to talk about it if she wants to. Chances are she won't. Don't give her the platitudes that everyone hears. Let her vent her frustrations if she wants to without telling her she shouldn't. The same goes for the parents probably. As for the parents, offer to spend time sitting in the hospital room or at home with the girl so they can have a chance to get out and take a break. They'll really need that at times so they can continue doing everything to support their daughter. Having a fundraiser is a really good idea. Get the community involved and raise money to help with the exorbitant costs of treatment. I had another friend recently die of cancer (she was 30) and the local McDonald's did a fundraiser for her one night where a portion of the proceeds went to the fund for her. Between that and all the community support they were able to raise about $25000 for the family. Try to make life as normal as possible for the whole family. That's what they want most of all, is just to be normal again, even if it's just for 15 minutes. They'll be in my prayers.