I Want to Give Them the World.

Last night... my dear 5 year old son, all of a sudden got a rush of emotions as I was putting him to bed.
He was telling me "Mommy, I don't want you to get old and die.... I want to have you forever and over and over and over.... " and he was just bawling his eyes out, and clutching me SO tightly and had his arms wrapped around me, so tightly....
SO sad.... so heartbreaking.... the thoughts that little kids have... and their profound, emotions.
He also asked why his Grandpa (my Dad) died and if everyone dies like that and at that age etc.

I was speechless... but tried my best to comfort him....
Hard... very hard...
He is fine today.
Fell asleep sort of fine.
But at least he can express himself and tells me things...
Its so hard....

And while my son was saying all of this... my older 9 year old daughter was saying to him "I think about that too.... and then I get tears in my eyes.... "

Yes, I want to give my kids the world....

What a sweet impulse, Molly. It's so hard to watch disappointment in our children, isn't it? I always go to some effort to give the children in my life wonderful experiences.

And it's good to remember that disappointment is an unavoidable part of everyone's life, so even if it were within my means, I would never have tried to give my daughter the world. Nor my grandson (almost 6).

Recognizing realistic limits, making practical and emotional adjustments, dealing with frustration and disappointment, are all needed to achieve maturity and flexibility, and to be able to relate to the less fortunate with any empathy. It's a kindness to help children keep their expectations realistic.

I know when I feel devastated by something I see in a child's face, my own buttons are getting pushed. Almost every parent tries to correct the errors of their own upbringings in the ways they raise their children. This is wonderful, to a point. Some parents (I'm not saying this is you, but it's a question you might want to ask yourself) will overcorrect in their eagerness to fix their own childhood disappointments. And of course, that does their children no favors, in spite of the wonderful intentions.

Such a sweet sentiment, Molly! They do pull at your heartstrings when they're little!

When they get older, it's easier not to do everything for them. They give you reason to hold back because they let you know that you are spoiling them with their attitude! LOL!!

Enjoy your little buddy now! And I hope you find the "North Pole"!!

Added - really cool website and idea, Wickerparkgirl!

Dawn

look for Polar Express train rides...my boys loved it, they are magical! tickets sell out quickly...i know they are available in Cleveland, may be closest to you...have fun!

Come to Chicago in December and visit Northerly Island for Polar Adventure Days!!!!!!!!

You can take the train in - my brother lives in Detroit and takes the train in all the time.

http://www.chicagoparkdistrict.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/n...

I agree with Dawn. Its easier to do that when they are little. When they are older...not so much. Seems like they expect you to do everything for them. Sometimes its ok to say the North Pole is only for Santa and his elves and we are not allowed to go there. Kids need to know there are disappointments in life and how to deal with them. Just my opinion. My kids are 15, 12 and 9 and we are now trying to make them appreciate all we do for them. Its different when they are older. Although my 9 yo son still has those puppy dog eyes and knows just how to work them... =)

I might not be recalling it correctly. But I think that Polar Express was about the magic of Santa. I think you were special selected and could only view Santa's house or the North Pole because you believed???

Any rate let him know that Santa dose not allow visitors as he is very busy all year long watching who is naughty and nice and making gifts for everyone. Its really head quarters and his work place. He has to keep everything top secret and his house is at the north pole but cannot be seen by anyone who just comes over. They have to have special permission from Santa himself to go help with toys.

We usually dont cave when our kids give us those big sad eyes. Sometimes it breaks our heart but they get over it so quickly. Like our son was in tears because he wasnt married and we were. He wanted to be married!!! How on earth were we going to let him be married. We solved it by telling him he had to eat his vegatables so he could grow up to be a big strong man and find a nice kind wife. He isnt big enough. It seems to work.

Yes, but I've learned restraint because of how I was raised. I hold back, I have to. Finances are tight etc. I had to pay much of my college, had to grow up quick and it really made me a better balanced person than friends of mine who used their parents as the Bank of America. Spoil him with LOTS of one on one with you-in the end, that will be all that mattered.

I haven't read your other response, but I totally understand! I have a 2.5 year old and a 5.5 mo old and just to see them sad or disappointed just kills me sometimes!!

I understand that people will say that you have to have limits and whatever- but as long as your kids don't necessarily SEE you giving them everything, you are all good. Does that make sense?

So if your kids don't SEE you looking up winter wonderland stuff and you just take them later as a treat- I think you are all good!

My son has recently taken to asking me if I will be his best friend and hugging me and telling me he loves me so much. The other day he told me that he loved me so much that his heart hurt! OMG! TEARS even now! I know that this is a phase (and have told my husband this doesn't make him a mama's boy since he does it to him too :) )

Love those kids- have perspective- enjoy them!!

Yes this is heart wrenching. Make up a story about the north pole and that it's so far and so secret that no one knows how to get there or exactly where it is, only that it's at the top of the world. Santa does his work in secret. Put some thought into it while going to sleep and I bet you'll come up with a whole magical story. Then engage his imagination with it the next day. You can even add little things to the story as the days pass. Make it interesting and magical and mysterious, yet simple. If you really allow yourself to immerse yourself within the story you can make up for a mis spoken word. Get into the spirit of it all. It might even be something you want to write down. This can be turned into a good thing. Good Luck!

I think all parents want to see the look of delight on their kids' faces when we get or do something that makes them light up. The challenge comes when we can't or shouldn't try to give in to every want that they have. There are times when I try to get the perfect thing that seems to be so very important only to find that it really wasn't exactly what they wanted or that it really didn't matter as much to them as it seemed to in the moment.

My son, in particular, has these beautiful brown doe eyes that can melt my heart. I have learned though, that my definition of "doing anything" for my kids also includes teaching them that they can't have everything they want, and in doing so they appreciate the things they have and the things they get, and the gifts that they also have to share with others.

It's a struggle sometimes to not live out our own childhood through our kids from both the positive memories and the negative ones... at least it certainly is for me.

To be honest, I used to feel that way but as my kids have gotten older, not so much. Kids say 5 and under are just all emotion etc and I wanted to make everything perfect. But then they got a bit older and I start to see that maybe they're getting a bit spoiled and life is tough and they'd better get used to it or I'm not doing them any favors leading them to believe otherwise. I never thought I'd feel that way but it just came with their age.

omg i know. you have some really thoughtful, wonderful answers below about setting limits and i learned from those responses as well. but ohmigoodness. that look. it's so heartbreaking to know you can't give them everything in the world isn't it?

i dont know where you live but there is a little santa claus land in lincoln park. on fort by the civic center.