I Want to Do Something Nice.

I went through this while TTC #2 so I have felt this pain as well.
I agree w/ those who suggested sending her a card with the promise that you're there for her whenever she wants to talk or just needs a shoulder to cry on.
I remember so clearly the pain each month of not being pg and dealing w/ others' happy pg news what seemed like every other day. Lots of tears shed and feelings of hopelessness. Just be there for her. I hope her wait is over soon and she gets that glorious BFP!:)

A nice thing somebody did for me when I was going through the same thing, is they bought me a baby blanket. The told me that it was for me to hold/snuggle at night and hope for a baby. Or even cry into if I needed to. It may sound odd, but it was so nice for them to do, and I did hold it every nite when I fell asleep.

I went through something similar to your friend. I have two little boys now, but it took two years to conceive our first. When my husband and I first started trying I was 23. I was completely healthy, a normal weight, not stressed out but nothing was happening. No false pregnancies, no missed periods, nothing. My sister-in-law had a toddler and while I was trying to conceive, she got pregnant again. About 10 months into trying, my 48 yr old pre-menopausal coworker found out that she was having a surprise pregnancy and that's when I became very depressed. I didn't understand why a woman old enough to be my own mother was having a baby when I was unable to. Every time I saw a mother with a baby, I felt sad and I was even crying over commercials for baby formula. It seemed like everywhere I looked, there was a pregnant woman. It was a really hard time for me and what made it worse was that I had nobody to talk to about it. I really think that the best thing you can do is just to be there for your friend. Listen when she wants to talk (but don't push her to talk about it) and tell her it's okay to cry if she needs to. I know that I would have really appreciated someone to just be there to hug me and show they care. I agree with the previous post about doing a girls weekend or even just a girls day out. Plan a nice relaxing day to go to lunch, get pedis or facials at a spa, go see a silly movie at the theater, take her to a paint your own pottery place... something that will make her feel special and will help get her mind off of things. I hope this helps. You sound like a really good friend. :)

Invite her out to lunch with no pressures...if you know she is bummed, I am assuming she has talked about it to you. This may be a nice thing to do so she knows you care about her.

be a good friend and don't bring up the situation all the time. she probably dwells on it enough as it is. it would probably be nice to have a friend who isn't bringing up something difficult in her life - but rather is helping her have a nice time and not focusing on it.

Take her to tea ( a really nice place with lunch) and tell her in a card how much she is loved because she is a friend, sister, daughter, etc.

Pray for her and with her. Have your prayers be a faith "thank you" prayer to God that he will answer the desires of her heart.

I know that being a busy mom yourself, time is something that you don't have a lot of, but maybe you and your friend can go away for girl's weekend together. It doesn't have to be anything expensive or far away but even if you do a staycation in Lincoln and stay at a hotel with a spa for a night, get some massages and hang out by the pool, it may do both you and your friend some good. And there's nothing like having some girlfriend bonding time to make you feel a lot better. Massages don't hurt either.

I have neighbors who are trying to have a baby....for about a year now...surgeries....fertility help....so far: nothing.
Seriously, I feel like bringing it up only makes them feel worse.
Love her for who she is right now.
You can officially go over-the-top once she delivers!

stay positive. I had a family member who has gone through this twice, and both times were eventually blessed with children through adoption. Pray with her, or for her. (if thats your thing) I quoted a lot of scripture about Gods promise, and prayed a lot. If religion is not your thing than look up inspirational quotes that are fitting. just enough to keep her head lifted and spirits high. =) good luck

What about a fertility bracelet? She gets some nice jewelry and she knows you are thinking about her. Just one idea of one I found below.

http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/bracelets.html?cvsfa...

How sweet! I suffered from infertility for years. Maybe a 'romance' kit? A bottle of wine, some sexy music, and some chocolate covered strawberries.

It took us a while to get pregnant with our first and each month when I found out I wasn't pregnant, I was devastated. The best thing a friend did for me is to buy me some ColdStone ice cream, come and sit on my couch and then listened as I expressed how hard it was. When she left I felt cared about and uplifted. It is amazing what some ice cream and listening ear can do.

I think any of these would do. A simple, quiet gift from your heart. Just something that will remind her when she sees it that people love her and are thinking about her and that she will get her baby one day. I collect these and just love them. =0) you can find them at Hallmark stores and some Cracker Barrels, too.

http://www.willow-tree-angel.com/willow-tree/Willow-Tree-...

http://www.willow-tree-angel.com/willow-tree/Willow-Tree-...

http://www.willow-tree-angel.com/willow-tree/Willow-Tree-...

Send her some flowers with a note that says something like, "I'm thinking of you, keeping you in my prayers, keep your chin up. etc.".

you could always send flowers. daisies, mums, something simple. just to brighten her day.

You are a great friend to not only care but to seek out some action. I know for me having a friend like that is what got me through.
My husband and I had what we call our "miracle baby" 2.5 yrs ago (we were told we couldn't have kids). And we are going through monthly disappointment again now while trying to have a second.
My favorite times that got me through were when friends laughed and had fun with me. It reminded me that I could still have fun and enjoy life. When we did talk about it we might have a few serious words, but it usually ended with laughs like...remember when we were in high school and you were told and became certain that if you touched a boy - you were going to get pregnant. And here we are and that couIdn't be further from the truth! And then we laughed about all the stupid high school/college boys that we are so glad we didn't get pregnant by.
I also had a friend with absolute conviction tell me that they knew I was meant to be a mother and that it was going to happen one way or another. She had recently read a book which was all about visualizing your goals and prayer. She told me she included me in her prayers and that she knew it was going to happen. Her calm conviction strengthened me and also let me know that either way it was going to be okay. Life with a friend like that was still going to be fun. We didn't talk about it a lot. Her calm conviction was statement enough and it allowed me to set it aside and focus on the fun of life. I am forever grateful to my fun friends.

Best of luck to you and your friend. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Be fun and laugh!!

~M.

Hi,
Ah, I remember, took us 6 months, seemed like forever, we were 35. But I heard the average couple takes 6 months to 1 year. This doesn't help when you are trying. I feel for her.
S.