I Want Another Baby! - Phoenix,AZ

I understand how you feel, and if you had only one or two, I'd tell you to keep pressing. And I'm a huge supporter of huge families, most of my relatives have at least 7 kids!!! But your husband is your partner, I'm guessing he supports you if you are a sahm, and with this many kids, and so much happiness, try to be grateful and respect him.

However, if you want a secret weapon: Say, "OK, honey, You know how I feel, you know my age, I so badly want another baby and I know it would be amazing, but I realize you are supporting all of us, and I have to respect you. You're the most amazing dad in the world, and I love you with all my heart, so I'm not going to bother you about it anymore, even though I'm sad inside."

And then DON'T BUG HIM ANYMORE. Treat him like a king for the next 6 months with no pressure.....and he just may get generous with you. Or not.

Either way, you're very blessed. I have 3 and definitely wish I started younger and had more...but I have decided to feel blessed and fulfilled. My husband doesn't want more, and it's it's not like I have idle time to fret about it while he always travels. I'd LOVE another son to balance out my 2 girls 1 boy, but some people don't have ANY kids and really want some. You are VERY blessed.

Be happy with what you have! Don't turn this into something that winds up being a wedge between you and your husband. Continue to care for others' small children if you want and that will always keep some little kids around you. We all go through phases and peaks and valleys of desires for situations in our lives. Your clock isn't going to tick forever! Sometimes you just have to ride things out.

Also -think of things from his point of view. He has to financially support all of you, and every additional child means more money is needed. Do you both (or does he) want to travel with your children and be able to do extra things for and with them? Do you want to pay for or help with college for your kids? What about retirement for him? He probably isn't excited about never having enough to retire if he keeps adding kids to the mix. And then there's the sheer stress of having a bunch of little kids. You may LOVE it -and he loves your children I'm sure. He probably has a blast with all of them, but he may also feel like one more crying, whining, screaming, shrill little voice would put him over the edge! Not all people (including me) love to be surrounded by incredibly needy small children. You love your own more than life, but you sure don't want more. Men also lose out in many marriages when the kids come along -and the more kids, the less of the wife they get. So think of things from his stance whenever you get on the baby thing and he says, "NO!" It would be different if you wanted kids and he absolutely didn't and there were no children, but you do have 4 -three together and it sounds like they're heathy! There are many, many women out there (and men too) who would love to have children and never will have the opportunity or the ability to even have one.

***ETA - I went back and read your May post about being overwhelmed and frustrated. Nothing wrong with that sentiment! In your shoes I would be too -in fact, I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and feel that way often! Is your husband still working those same hours? Is your house still that loud and chaotic (probably -it's actually the way it is I think especially with twins and a slightly older child) -however, it really makes me wonder why you would want to throw another into the mix. And it drives home your husband's point even more. He sees you stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated. Loving and in love with your family -yes- but he probably worries about how you both would handle it if there were another.

The world is an increasingly challenged and fragile place. We are facing the serious consequences of over population - diminishing resources, over exploited soil, reduced air and water quality all over the planet. The impact of climate change is far greater due to the vast spread of human settlement and exponential population growth.
Think beyond yourself to your children's future and that of their children, their children's children and so on. Be aware and take responsibility for the world you live in.
Celebrate and find joy in what you have and put your energy into raising and educating the children you already have! They will need it!

Quality

I say that you should have a calm intimate time with him and share your feelings. Maybe come up with a list of pros & cons about having a baby. Ask him why he doesn't want to have another one. maybe the thing is that it's not the time. Don't beg him, that's definetly not going to work. Think it over, maybe when you find out you're pregnant, you'll regret it.

I would respect your husbands wishes on this one. If you need to babysit for extra money, it sounds like you possibly can't afford it. He is probably stressed about the increased financial pressure on him. If you were super wealthy, that would be another situation. Just my opinion. But I may be biased b/c I know that I couldn't handle 5 kids. I applaud you for having the ability to deal with all of that, but your husband has to be a huge consideration as well.

I personally would want to spend the quality time with the kids you do have. Would it be fair to your kids to have another and have them resent the fact that maybe you couldn't make it to the school functions or after school activities because of another child in the mix. And, just because one is going off to college doesn't mean that that they won't come back to live at home so they can save money to be able to live on their own. If you like the little ones, keep babysitting and get your "fix" that way. Your kids will appreciate the quality time you spend with them rather than spreading yourself too thin.