My husband had a heart stent placed about three years ago. He was very particular about what he ate before but now, he has become fanatical. He rarely eats meet - I think he eats it at lunch occasionally, since he is at work during the week, I can't really be sure. I truly admire his will power. He can go to a hamburger placed and order a veggie or turkey burger! The problem is with my son. At 14, he is still growing. He is a good weight for his height but with my husbands self imposed eating limitations, I'm afraid my son is being exposed to eating habits that aren't appropriate for a boy his age. We rarely eat meat (protein) and when we do, it's chicken, which we are all pretty sick of. Pasta works too but again, we are sick of it. He will eat lean pork roast. My SIL suggested stir frying pork roast with veggies, which I thought was a great idea.
It seems nothing I cook gets eaten. We both work and today, after shopping, paying, and cooking, no one would eat. I have thrown in the towel and told them both that I would eat and they should take care of themselves in the evening. It's getting ridiculous; last night we had an argument over the last time he ate a real egg and not Eggbeaters. Thanks for listening. I don't know if any one can help but it feels good to vent.
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Thanks so much for all your thoughts and ideas. I want to tell everyone that, yes, I am very happy my husband eats healthfully. He is not skinny but he is a good weight for his height. We rarely eat fast food - it's never a dinner time option for us. However, my husband will not eat frozen fish or not much frozen any thing else. Of course, this involves a trip to the grocery store, daily. Now he has stated he wants to eat only organic...$$$...and Whole Foods isn't just down the street, either. While it would be nice for him to do the shopping, he doesn't get home until 8:00 p.m. some nights. He goes the gym after work, 2-3 nights a week.
I will ask each of them to make me a list of what they will eat and go from there. Family dinner time is supposed to be enjoyable, not a battle!
Am I missing the mark because I would be more upset if my husband had a heart condition and ignored doctor's orders and ate with abandon all the things he shouldn't. You should be happy he is taking care of himself and taking steps to prevent future episodes. Plus it sounds like the whole family eats healthier because of it.
What is he preventing you from cooking that you really want and resent him for?
I don't get what you are complaining about. Are you mad your husband eats healthy? Its really fine for you teen to eat this way. He might not need a stint later in life.
Maybe you could sit down with them both and discuss some meals that you can all agree upon and do menu planning and that way everyone is happy. And menu planning saves you money. I guess I don't see the issue with egg beaters either although I never eat them. There are loads of websites out there with healthy easy meals. I like cooking light and they have a daily meal suggestion.
Have you considered going to a nutritionist to figure out what the needs really are in your house. Then, you might sit your family down and give them each 2 nights to cook - yes - even your son. Let them figure it out... Set some rules - no going out, no junk, just good healthy food. Give your son Mondays and Fridays, your Husband Tuesdays and Thursdays and you take Wednesday and Saturday. Sunday is up for grabs...
My husband is on the diabetic diet. It is extremely healthy - little to no red meat, all white meat and fish. No pasta, no rice, no white bread, etc. He eats lots of salad and veggies.
We still have pasta and burgers once in a while. He will eat a steak now and then, but honestly, the chicken and fish are his main staple. We get all kinds of fish at Costco in the frozen section. We grill it mostly...
We eat a lot of almonds and nuts - good protein and crunchy - better than chips.
YMMV
LBC
Hey D.,
After a decade of Taco Bell 4 times a week, last February my husband decided no more junk food. I'm so happy over this, because he's lost 55 pounds in less than an year!!!, but now I'm getting the lectures. "You know if you...." "that's really too much...."
Now about 4 years ago, I went to a nutritionist and really changed how I cooked, (it wasn't bad before, but it's much better now). But every time he tries to tell me what/how I should eat or cook, I want to throw something at him = )
But, since I know throwing something at him will not solve the issue, I've talked to him, which works much better.
I think you should talk to your husband at a time other than meal time, and simply say that you're concerned and here is why. I'm a parent coach, and I've found when working with men/fathers, having data is more helpful than saying "I feel..." so look-up on line how many calories a 14 year old boy needs in a day and how much protein for growing muscles. Also chart what you're currently eating as a family for a week or so (there are a lot of great websites which can do this for you), and see how it meets your son's needs.
When men are faced with data, they tend to change their ways better. I'm sure that's why he changed his eating habits, after facing the data regarding his medical issues.
Good Luck
R. Magby
I have to agree with BD...bravo to your husband for taking such good care of himself! So many men that I know that have had heart attacks, etc more than a couple years ago have slipped back into horrible eating habits once the "scare" was over. You should be glad that your husband wants to stick around for you and your son for a long time.
Sit down with your husband and son and plan some menus together. Also, let them plan a meal together once a week and cook it for you! There are tons of sites with healthy recipes. It sounds like you are not on board with the healthy eating...maybe he is making you feel guilty about your own diet?
He is being a good example for your son & your son will not suffer from eating healthy. Search online for "Heart healthy recipes"...there are lots of good ones out there!!
It seems like you need some new healthy recipes. I can totally see your frustration with having to work around his diet needs and then he won't eat it. I have young kids who have their own quirks about what they eat. Can you consult with a nutritionist or look online for some healthy ideas and then discuss which he would want to try? Maybe there are some recipes with beans or other non meat proteins. Then again maybe someone else needs to take a turn in the kitchen a few nights a week.
Sounds like you are frustrated with trying to meet everyone's needs after a long day of work. I am not sure what your husband's diet restrictions are, but maybe you can just keep some turkey burgers or veggie burgers in the freezer for him and make whatever you want for you and your son. I know it's hard to make more than one meal, I do it many nights because my husband is such a fussy eater but it's probably less frustrating to fry a turkey patty up than what you are going through now. I have no idea if any of these suggestions will work with his special diet or not but there is turkey bacon for club sandwiches or BLT's, Laura's Lean makes a 4% fat beef burger that maybe is okay with his diet (typical ground round is 85/15) so you could make sloppy joe's, taco's or meatballs from it. (With taco's, it's easy to use half meat, half beans.) I have made turkey meatloaf (adding onions, red and green peppers, worchestershire sauce and dijon mustard), fish is very high in protein (if you don't like fish, try something mild like tilapia with a cajun seasoning), add spinach to risotta to up protein and iron, zucchini pancakes (with salsa for your husband/salsa & sour cream for you and your son) is good. I do hope some of this helps, I think meal planning for different diet restrictions is very difficult. And please, have whatever you want a couple of nights a week and just make him a turkey burger - it might ease your stress.
Updated
Sounds like you are frustrated with trying to meet everyone's needs after a long day of work. I am not sure what your husband's diet restrictions are, but maybe you can just keep some turkey burgers or veggie burgers in the freezer for him and make whatever you want for you and your son. I know it's hard to make more than one meal, I do it many nights because my husband is such a fussy eater but it's probably less frustrating to fry a turkey patty up than what you are going through now. I have no idea if any of these suggestions will work with his special diet or not but there is turkey bacon for club sandwiches or BLT's, Laura's Lean makes a 4% fat beef burger that maybe is okay with his diet (typical ground round is 85/15) so you could make sloppy joe's, taco's or meatballs from it. (With taco's, it's easy to use half meat, half beans.) I have made turkey meatloaf (adding onions, red and green peppers, worchestershire sauce and dijon mustard), fish is very high in protein (if you don't like fish, try something mild like tilapia with a cajun seasoning), add spinach to risotta to up protein and iron, zucchini pancakes (with salsa for your husband/salsa & sour cream for you and your son) is good. I do hope some of this helps, I think meal planning for different diet restrictions is very difficult. And please, have whatever you want a couple of nights a week and just make him a turkey burger - it might ease your stress.
Well, your husband SHOULD be super picky about what he's eating. It's not bad for your son either. Far more teenagers should be eating lean and healthy instead of a bunch of junk or highly fatty foods, so I would be happy that he's getting really healthy food. Just because he's a growing boy doesn't mean he needs tons of red meat or anything. He needs protein, which can be found in a variety of foods other than meat -look into vegetarian cooking. I've always HATED eggs, so I don't eat them at all, and they're not necessary to life. Some vegetarians and vegans don't eat a healthy diet, but many do -and many do for a lifetime including the teen years. Look into cooking with tofu, legumes and nuts -all very high protein and heart healthy choices. Hummus for snacks and cheese are great for your son.!
As far as them not eating what you cook -give yourself that as an out! Don't cook. Let your husband cook what he thinks would be good to eat. I've yet to meet a 14 year old who wouldn't find something to eat when he was hungry, so don't worry too much there! You eat what you want -you can all still sit down together.
Sharing the cooking will likely help. And a diet with limited/little meat is a great way for your son to eat to. It mostly sounds like you need some ideas for how/what to cook and eat. There are a ton of great vegetarian and meatless cookbooks out there. Try looking at Epicurious as well.
I think sharing the cooking would be a great idea. When my husband started cooking once a week. I got a better idea of what he thinks dinner should look like. He got a better idea of what it's like to put your heart on a plate and have it rejected! ha. Not to that extent, but he never understood why my feelings get bent when he covers everything in vinagery hot sauce after I spend an hour trying to achieve a certain flavor story. Now when he cooks I notice him watching me intently to see if I really like it. He gets bent if I don't eat a great big portion. So, I never ask him to shop. But I do ask him to cook once a week. (that's not asking much) Now I see that he really likes a whole ton of meat in spaghetti. He likes fresh herbs over dried, never knew that. These are things that I am learning about him and I think it makes us closer.
I understand your frustration. What I think I am hearing you say (which I've dealt with recently) is that you are the ONLY one cooking and no one wants to eat what you are cooking. What I suggest is that you ask your husband what it is he wants to eat and only cook him those things. As far as your son, has he given you a reason for not eating what you cook? The way I see it is if they are old enough to cook for themselves then they should cook for themselves if they (meaning the children) don't want to eat what you are cooking.
I told my husband that same thing the other day. I make enough food for several days because I don't have time to cook every day and the left overs never get eaten so I informed everyone in my family, including my 6 and 4 year old that if they don't eat what I cook then they are free to cook for themselves because I don't cook for recreation, I cook so that everyone is fed and I don't deal well with wasteful people. I try to do healthy meals often and sometimes I repeat things that are easy to make and less time consuming so I expect everyone in my house to eat it or else they can do it themselves.
Saying all that to say, don't get worked up about it. Be real calm in your approach because at the end of the day, you are the only one getting upset about it. Your husband has strict dietary needs which is fine so ask him what he wants and don't veer from what he says he wants and your son is old enough to make his own food if he doesn't want what you cook. If your son wants whatever it is you cook for your husband then that's fine but it's not fair that you should have to work all day and come home and slave all evening. Those days have come and gone. You should be able to relax when you get home as well. Good luck.
