I This Is Kinda Gross But....

That was funny hanging out like humans,but seriously I think you may have a little while longer to go w/ assisting her.I have 3 and I was trying to remember at what age I no longer had to help back there. But if she's 4.5 maybe 5 or 5.5 she'll get into the swing things. I know it's gross but hang in there. Give her a few more lessons, because they sometimes take us for fools and maybe she really wants you to do it for whatever reasons. GOD LUCK!

I have been working in the past with kids ages 3 - 7 and I have yet to meet a 4.5 year old that can wipe without help. The biggest obstical is the fact the the arm is simply not long enough to reach that far back and wipe propperly. This is where we caregivers come in and lend a helping hand and not make a big deal out of it. She will hit a groth spurt and things will get longer and easier.

I can't offer a suggestion, only empathy.

You are not alone! I STILL have to have these discussions...with my 7-year-old! She also isn't particularly in the habit of flushing. Yeccch.

I think children take their cues from their parents, so it's important that _you_ act in a way that shows her it's not something gross, but something normal that everybody does.
As far as her learning to wipe well, that just takes practice. So it's important to let her do it herself. I know how hard it is to let it go when they don't do a good job. But I've learned from experience that everytime _I_ breakdown and wipe them, it'll take them even longer to learn. Just give her a good shower every night before bedtime! Good luck to you!