I Think It Is Normal But...

my same age son , who was carefree and unphased by anything is now scared of everything. I found out that this is normal and healthy at this age as they are becoming more aware of the world around around and that is a stage in development and believe it or not a good sign. It will pass but is normal ( not all react this way but for those of us that have kids that do - its normal) I have found in numerous situations staying around the fear and letting him observe it for a while gets him more used to it and not so scare ( a puppet show, a live musical show, cobwebs, whatever. Let them safely see it wont hut them. Rainforest cafe a nightmare but he stuck it out with eyes covered. cant tell you exactly how long phase will last.

First of all, some children are just more naturally cautious. Some kids learn to associate certain actions ending in discomfort or pain, such as crawling under a table or falling, and learn very quickly to be careful. That behavior may simply be a part of her personality.

Also, at her age, her world is suddenly larger. Children go through jumps of awareness. Things that were around before were, in essence, invisible to them. As her awareness expands, she may continue to be frightened at first by things that never affected her before. What you are doing is good; defining what each thing is so she can can learn to tell the scary things from the non scary things.

I think that it is normal to be frightened by sounds and not knowing what it is at that age. I think you are on the right track by not intruding on her time with her Dad. May be say something to him when they are not playing and tell him what has been going on with the noises and how she has been frightened. My son gets scared when he hears the trash truck or when he sees a dog. I try to tell him it is just a truck or the dog wont hurt him. Just keep what you are doing and things will be fine. It is a phase they go through.

Normal. My daughter went through the exact same phase at that age. She is 4 now and much more fearless. Honestly her being cautious is a good thing---she will think before she acts. Just keep reassuring her as you are doing and making her feel safe and protected. Don't push too hard for her to try things that she is afraid of, but coax a little on some things so she isn't afraid of her own shadow =) Its a balancing act, and this is a normal age for her to be developing some fears as she starts to become more independent and notices the world around her. her worldviews is expanding by the second and some things can seem daunting at first. Just encourage her to try things before she swears them off and have an open mind, but its also okay for her to be concerned with her safety and to tell her to be careful so she is aware she may get hurt at times. For instance, my daughter bit it pretty bad riding her bike one day, but we had her back on the bike within an hour---going slowly and reassuring her, but letting her know that its okay to get hurt or make a mistake and then go for it a second time! All the best.

Maybe you need to listen in a bit more and see? Also, what was her birth like? Did she go to the NICU? Very often kids who are hyper-sensitive had some traumas at birth....or around then.

A few times I have touched the foot of a child and suddenly they jerk it up to their chest. I look at the mom and ask, "How long was he/she in the NICU?" The moms always look shocked and ask me how I knew that....even is the kid is currently 13. It's because the nusrses grab their feet, without any warning to the baby (because they can't possibly understand at that age) and get blood drawn. Small things like that stay with us.

I once read a book (wish I could remember the title!) that took toddler personalities and predicted what they would be like as teens and young adults. It was spot on with my teens! Do you want a young adult who is careful and cautious or one who jumps in without thought and has no fear? She is becoming more aware of her environment that could be the change. My little one is very sensitive to noises, I didnt take him to a movie until he was 5 because of this. Every kid has their own personality. I hope we can reassure it is normal (and you are normal to wonder)

This sound like my son. He just turned six, but was afraid of loud noises, costumed figures, etc. at that age and even still at this age. He is just a cautious little guy and really careful about everything. But, I've also noticed he is a worrier too, like his Mom. The other night we lit a candle (which we never do) to make the house smell nicer. Well, he kept asking every couple of minutes when we were going to blow the candle out because he was afraid of the house burning down! Now, his younger brother is the complete opposite and has no fear. He is 3 1/2 and went right up to that candle and peered inside. I think we have treated them both the same as far as "be careful, etc." they just have different personalities!

Hi J., Children do go through a "fears" stage. Maybe they are just more aware of sounds and shapes around them. This will pass. Keep telling her that sounds may startle her but they will not hurt her. Mommy and Daddy are there to protect her. Children also have great imaginations and this is a sign of intellegence. Keep up the good work mommy, you are doing fine. Do caution others not to transfer their fears to your little one. My best, Grandma Mary (mom of 5)

Hi J.,

I think it's normal too :). It's just one of the personality types out there.

My son is similar in many respects, and when he was your daughter's age, he was terrified of all other children and would just shut down and withdraw in social situations -- I can't tell you many nights of sleep I lost and how many gray hairs I grew over that!

Now that my son is four, though, he is doing much, much better. He actually has friends, including one best friend, which is unbelievable given where he was just six months ago. He used to have this terrible fear of the wind, and that's now gone, thanks to a series of "science experiments" I did with him demonstrating that the wind can only knock over light things like paper, not heavy things like people. He still *drastically* overreacts to having his hair washed, and he's still generally a shy, cautious kid, but these are ASPECTS of his personality. They used to BE his personality.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. What I've learned from experience and self-education is that shy, cautious kids can often have a rough time during the toddler years and early preschool years, but they often outgrow the worst of it and grow up to be sweet, lovely, thoughtful, reflective people.

The only bit of advice I feel confident giving is that it's often much more effective to express things in the positive than in the negative. "Don't be afraid of the lawn mower" doesn't work anywhere near as well as "The lawnmower is nice. It only moves when people push it," if that makes sense.

Good luck,

Mira

I hear you on the MIL - mine would gasp if my kids coughed when they were babies/little and would cover the coffee table with her hands while they were cruising "In case they fall" - I had to assure her that we like the kids to fall once in a while. I don't think that your daughter's limited time with MIL could lead to such excessive fears though
My kids never went through this but some kids apparently do. If something startles her when it makes noise, I'd simply tell her, "That's the lawnmower, Mr Jones is mowing his lawn" I wouldn't pay too much attention to her, as it can be an attention getting behavior. Just let her know what the noise is and move on.

Previous posts sound right to me- it could just be a developmental thing where she's more aware of the world around her. If you're looking for something in particular that triggered it though, could it be something she's seen on TV or that she's starting to have/recall dreams? Good luck ;)