I Think I Lost a Friend???

Updated on March 15, 2011
M.D. asks from Rockport, TX
17 answers

We have been doing alot of house shopping for months. I met a lady and we became casual friends and then she told me she was a realtor and if we needed any help to let her know. She always told me "no pressure, if someone buys from me great! If not, thats ok too" She has taken us out twice to look at houses and she wrote a contract for one for us but we opted out due to some inspection problems. In the midst of getting out of that contract we found the perfect house but it is a for sale by owner. The contract is signed and done. I emailed her to tell her about the new house and how the seller was not using any realtors (fine with us) and now I have not heard back from her at all! I thanked her for her help and asked we owed her for her time? Told her sorry it turned out to be a FSBO but we absolutely could not pass up this house and their were other people interested in it so we moved quick! I have emailed her twice and have heard nothing!

We are not very personal friends but we get together for play dates. We enjoy the company but really dont have much in common (does that make sense?) I cant see our complete families ever getting together) Anyways, should I be worried about this or just be excited about my new home.

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Featured Answers

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Good riddance, I'd leave it alone and not be worried over the loss, nor try to contact her again. I agree with the term 'circumstantial'.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Realtors are very busy. My dad is one. They have to keep finding new clients, new leads, new listings ....when one doesn't pan out, they keep moving. So I don't think you lost a friend by this action, but she has to keep moving forward and maybe just hasn't had a chance to reply yet.
She may have been counting on some income from a sale to you and now she has to get back out there and look for other options. Nothing personal.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Be excited about your new home. My guess is that your friendship was more circumstantial and this person is probably going to fade from your life. She's probably bummed, but it's not like you went out and used another realtor. It happens. If she doesn't see that- she probably wasn't a realy friend to start with!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We found our own house, too--FSBO. I sent our agent a thank you and a Gerbera Daisy. I have recommended her to many people over the years based on her gracious response and sincere congrats on finding our house--not to mention that she was very nice and worked hard for us!
Not so sure I'd do that in your case...that's her (potential business) loss. You've done all you can. Let it drop.

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H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

You could keep it in the back of your mind, but you know what
BE EXCITED! you found your home!!
Congrats!

And honestly, if that's the kind of friend she is going to be do you really want her as a friend??

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J.M.

answers from San Diego on

If she doesn't end up answering, she obviously didn't value the friendship the way you did, or thought she did. I would say you don't need a "friend" like that anyway, and just move on. Congrats on your house tho, that is so exciting!! :) :)

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J.C.

answers from Nashville on

Sounds like she was just being your friend to get a commission or profit off the fact that ya'll were looking for a house. Be glad she's gone. She was not a true friend.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Be excited about your new home, and be pleasant to her if that's how you feel about her. If she gave you good service and you would refer her without a 2nd thought, let her know. It's a tough market out there and she may be bummed out, but if she's a professional, she'll get over it - especially if you're pleasant and honest.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Sometimes it is hard for other people to be happy for other instead there greed gets in the way... i say enjoy your new house. If you tried to make contact then you have done your part. Always remember true friend are hard to find... congrats on your new home and my god bless you and your family.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Just be excited about your new house! What exactly is worrying going to do anyway?

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P.M.

answers from Austin on

I am a realtor and will tell you not to worry about it. However, I do hope that you had an inspection done on this home and somehow know that the price is right. Also, the FSBO is required to provide you with a seller's disclosure. As a realtor, she will win some and lose some and if she hasn't learned that yet, she will soon.

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

My suggestion is don't sweat it and just be excited about your new home. If she was a true friend she wouldn't care if she was your realtor or not!

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D.B.

answers from Houston on

sounds like she was wanting business, and may feel snubbed that you didn't use her for the sale. Even if it's FSBO, you can use a realtor and the seller has to pay her commission still (I believe). Doesn't sound like a real friend anyways though, so just move on, be polite if you see her, and leave it at that.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

Same thing happened to us. When we asked what we owed him for his time (he spent many weeks with us showing us houses!), he said that we owed him nothing. He just said that he would appreciate any referrals and would help us if we ever sold. Now that is what a professional does!

You did not meet a professional so just let it go. There are good realtors out there and there are others that look at the immediate loss instead of the long term gain. I'm sure it is tough in this economy.

Stop trying to get her back as a friend. You've sent two emails and she is not being a professional. Don't feel guilty - go enjoy your new home!

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

try calling her. If she doesn't respond to emails and avoids your call too, then just let it go. If you left a voicemail that said something like "Emailed ya, didn't hear back. My son's been asking about when he gets to play with your son next. Give me a call and we can meet for a playground trip." then I think that'd sound nice and pleasant.

If she doesn't call you back, then she's obviously not the kind of lady you thought she was. Don't play her games.

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T.R.

answers from Houston on

A word of advice -- unless you're quite experienced in buying real estate (I mean, to the level that you personally read and understand every document you sign or initial during the process, and know the legal implications and know what you're not signing as well)... retain a lawyer to review the papers for you. It will cost a few hundred dollars, but it may save you tens of thousands of dollars.

And -- If your "friend" is no longer a friend because you didn't use her when you bought your home, that says that she, at least, was placing a dollar value on your "friendship". Of course, she may just be really busy right now. But if she really is no longer friendly, then it never was a friendship in the first place (at least in her mind).

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