Well, my youngest is almost 3 and I haven't lost all the baby weight and I feel like sometimes, especially after I eat, I still look pregnant. So...I'm with you!!! :)
Putting our feelings aside, one of the biggest hurdles in weight loss is stress. There's a bunch of science behind it, and chemical whoop-te-doo, but basically if your body is stressed you don't produce the right chemicals or too much of the wrong ones...and it causes your body to hang onto extra weight, thinking you need it. Relaxation is key. Your schedule sounds very full!
Changing your eating habits is also crucial. Making smart choices and watching portion control are critical. You can start by examining what you are eating (be ruthless...write it all down, every day, for a week, with the calorie and fat content.) and begin to substitute healthier choices. You can also use a smaller plate, and not go back for seconds. When I first started looking at what I was eating a few years back, I was incredibly surprised when I added it all up. Adding up all the sugar in my coffee, all the tortillas alongside my healthy chicken, etc, etc...too much!! Also, if you drink soda, cut it out completely...water, water, water!! :)
I'm sorry about your husband...you need to tell him that making you sad and self-conscious only makes you want to eat more, like Momma W said, and maybe he will stop. Men can also be dolts and not realize how truly sensitive we women are about weight. I think my husband would prefer I stay 40 lbs overweight. ;)
Don't know what kind of exercise you are doing, but don't discount the value of simply walking. After my first child, I wasn't loosing the weight...and when she was three, I quit drinking pop, started eating a bowl of cereal at night instead of any other snack, and going for a walk every day...sometimes a mile, sometimes four. Within three months, I lost 30 lbs, and felt great...and it was just those few simple changes. It's starting to finally get warm out, I'm finally done nursing, and I'm ready to do it again!! I'm with you, sister!