I wasn't going to respond to your post, but I honestly can't seem to get it out of my head. First of all, being a stepparent is THE absolute hardest role to fill. If you truly want to marry this man, I suggest you take a good hard look at how committed you really are to your entire situation. I married my husband three months ago and at first, being a friend/daddy's girlfriend to his nine year old daughter seemed like a breeze. When you get married and become a stepmom, that puts you in a much more authoritative position and it's too easy to become jealous of their time together and begin to demand too much of your stepchild. It's also far too easy to begin to resent them for things you (or they) have no control of. You can't resent your boyfriend's son because you now have your own child together and that seems to complete the happy family picture (which I'm not judging, because I know that's an obstacle that I'll have to face when we have our own kids as well). P.S. no family is perfect and happy without a ton of effort. That's why I'm suggesting you really look at this situation, because it's only going to get harder. As your relationship deepens with your boyfriend, you owe it to him and his son to continue to try to nurture your bond as a potential stepmom. You don't get to give up and avoid him...relationship need constant effort in order to work, and this IS a relationship. You have to push past the negative feelings and put a smile on your face and hug him as much as possible and make sure he truly feels included and a part of your family (not just a distant relative who visits on weekends). This may sound a little harsh because I've already had to swallow the same pill (and I'm 23, with a nine year old who totally has a mind of her own, so be happy with the fact that he's two and you have lots more time to get it right!). I adore my stepdaughter, but it's not easy--EVER--to look past how different she and I are (mostly cause she's much more like her mother, lol). Every single visit brings a struggle of some kind, and giving up is a lot easier than trying even harder. But you have try anyway, if you're really serious about this man. We can't divorce, or avoid, our children. And like it or not, this little guy IS (or maybe will be) YOUR son. Your actions and standoffishness affect him just as they affect your children. Try this...when you're feeling moody or anxious about him, take the opportunity to do a special activity together (my stepdaughter and I make jewelry because she's older, but special crafts and keepsakes are fun for young ones too), and make it YOUR thing. With your kids around all the time, they have the advantage of seeing you as much as they want and the bonds happen naturally. But weekend visits make it tough to build that bond, which you both desperately need to develop, so try to get some alone time, or the situation is only going to get worse. Stress FAMILY and make sure his (your) son knows that this is his home. It's tough and I completely understand and I'm walking up the same mountain you are, but from one stepmom to a possible future one, I hope some of this helped.