I Really Hate My Daughter's Teacher!!! Please Help!!!

On my sons first day of 1st grade, somehow my sons lunch got lost. He didn't eat anything at all because none of the aides/teachers noticed. It happened AGAIN the next week, and AGAIN not one teacher or aide noticed. Now that is something to be pissed about.

My approach would be "Mrs. Smith, little suzy is so picky. Can you ask her what she will try at school for you. I will pack it and maybe she will try it for you, thanks for helping me get my picky daughter to try new things".

So I guess you either tell the teacher to mind her own damn business or you find another preschool, right?

We've been sending in PB and J sandwiches almost every single day!!! Occasionally change it up with PB and J crackers!! Luckily there is no lunch police patrolling his lunch table. I bet anything she has no kids of her own. Is there a director you could talk to?

The teacher tried talking to you and it annoyed you. You allow your daughter to dictate to you what she has for lunch everyday. Perhaps the teacher thought your daughter would follow her advice since you did not. I really think that the teacher has your daughter's best interest at heart and i can't imagine hating someone for this. That is a pretty crappy lunch with little nutritional value and I think the teacher is probably just concerned about your daughters's brain development.
You are setting a dangerous precedent if you allow your daughter to choose only to eat what she wants to eat IMO.

Really, you HATE your daughter's teacher.

Let's turn this around. YOU are the teacher. You have seen many children with different food habits. You know that some are picky to an extreme and their parents pack the same everyday, not allowing for exploration, as you see it. So you bring it up with one parent, suggesting a more varied diet. No biggie. Then months down the line, you are eating right beside this little girl with the same lunch as always for months. You try to encourage her to branch out by letting her know she doesn't have to bring the same thing everyday. I truly see no problem with this.

I think the problem lies in your insecurity as a parent. How dare someone say anything to your daughter! Really, I bet another kid has many times, "you eating that, again?" somebody always has something to say.
You need to grow a thicker skin. If this is something you HATE a teacher for, then you have lots of evil teachers down the line with which to deal.
And this comes from a mom who has packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich everyday for the last two years! Plus there were many times I didn't eat in school because I was so picky.

If you are going to be picky, OWN it.

This is preschool.. you actually "HATE" a teacher because of this? HATE is a very strong word and I sure hope you are not bad mouthing/venting to your spouse or others in front of your child.

So what if she carries the same thing to lunch daily. However, what she is carrying is not the healthiest lunch and maybe, just maybe, the teachers are doing their JOB to help children develop a taste for many types of food.

As a regular substitute teacher, I see many children with the same lunch day in and day out. I also notice when they will take unopened food and try to make it to the trash can without a teacher noticing because they claim they don't like the food. We do say something to the children we see not eating so that we can relay to mom or whomever that this child is not eating at school. We also encourage healthy eating habits and a variety of healthy foods.

I agree to pack something that a child will eat regularly but what about mixing it up a little and maybe throw in a piece of fruit, etc? You are the parent here... you say your daughter "refuses" to take anything else. You need to take a hard look at your parenting style if you allow your 3 yr old to run your house.

Again, if this makes you "HATE" a teacher, you have a very long road ahead of you until this child graduates high school. Pick your battles.

I think you might be overreacting just a little bit. It's ok for the teacher to suggest your daughter expand her horizons - that's kind of what school does.

She didn't force her to eat another lunch or threaten her. She suggested an alternative.

Sounds like everyone pretty much covered everything, so I just want to add one thing.

Bagels and cream cheese. You are giving your child garbage for lunch...not just as a treat for a day, but EVERY day, for lunch. GARBAGE. One of the worst of the bread products and probably THE worst of the dairy. There is NO NUTRITION in what you're giving her.

I get picky eaters, believe me. I have one. Drives me crazy, so I understand. She does do food jags and will only want to eat one thing...but if it were bagels and cream cheese, I would simply say NO. YOU are the one that buys it.

Ooooh! Also, if you think the teacher crossed the line by speaking with your child, what the hell do you have her in school for? Heaven forbid her teacher try to teach her something! Homeschool her and feed her all the garbage you want.

Maybe the teacher is concerned about the nutritional value of the daily bagel with cream cheese. Bagels are basically carbs with little protein; cream cheese is basically fats with little protein.

Does your child eat anything else with lunch? Milk, fruit, veggies?

You are misreading concern for your child as a personal slight. I would be concerned if I saw child routinely only eating a lunch that provided little in the way of sustainable protein - little bodies need better sustenance to carry them through the afternoons.

So, try adding a fruit cup, a cheese stick, a smear of peanut butter to her lunch. It certainly will not hurt her.

She did tell you, but you didn't change anything. Not that you should have to, but I'm saying she DID tell you. Also, um...not to be harsh...but lets not take the words of a 3 year old as fact. Look, this is actually very small. If that's your only complaint, you're in a good school. The fact that you hate her over this lunch thing, is really kind of silly.

I'm sorry, but I think you're really over reacting. What the teacher is doing, is really attempting to broaden your daughter's horizon. That;s their JOB. A bagel and cream cheese is NOT healthy, and yeah...it's normal for someone to suggest something different, and healthier. I think I would be concerned about a kid who only eats bagels and cream cheese, too!

An entire school year only the same thing.. could have sensory issues.. this is a special need. worked for years with preschool children.. never had a child go for this long with the exact same lunch every day, unless there was an issue..

You are not helping your daughter by only sending the same thing every day..

The teacher has every right to make the suggestion, you have every right to move your child..

But I guarantee.. every place you place your child.. is going to say the same thing..

This is not considered.. "normal" for this length of time, unless your child has been diagnosed, special needs.

You hate your child's teacher because she has expressed an interest in your child and is trying to get her to try new foods? If this is your only complaint, I really can't understand why such an over the top reaction ("hate"...really?).

The teacher is right, you should send in other things once in a while (after all year, you would think she would be bored with lunch plus it's healthy to eat a variety of foods). The teacher did what most teachers would do, encourage new things including food. My kids will try new things for others, especially teachers, that they won't try or eat for me.

My daughter would pack chicken noodle soup and anything chocolate EVERY day if I would let her. She buys lunch most days so I could send in that on the rare occasions that she packs but I still try to mix it up. Does your daughter eat other things (chicken, potatoes, rice, soup, sandwiches)...if so, why not pick another meal she likes to send for lunch. She's 3, she can't have her way all the time and she can't make you pack anything.

I typically agree that teachers should express concerns to the parent and, for example, her concern was "can Suzy have xyz?" and you said no, then she shouldn't ask your daughter. In this case, I think what she said was reasonable.

R.:

Sorry. I think you are TOTALLY over reacting here. I see YOU as the problem. Sorry. But really. She's your daughter's TEACHER.

1. It's FINE for a teacher to talk with your daughter about "eating right" and trying new things. That's what TEACHER's DO! TEACH!!

2. She's your daughter's TEACHER so she has EVERY RIGHT to talk with your daughter. What do you want her to do - ignore her?

3. Your daughter is PICKY because YOU ALLOW her to be picky.

Seriously - a bagel and cream cheese is a TON of carbs for a kid. Where's the protein? Where's the other "fuel" she needs in order to get through her day?

Kids will typically eat more and better for other people than they will for their parents. If you tell her she is not going to like anything else - that's YOUR problem, not the teacher's.

You are teaching your daughter poor behavior as well. You state you "choose to IGNORE" the teacher. REALLY? Great role model you are being for your daughter - NOT!! (yes, that's supposed to be sarcastic).

Take a step back. Encourage your daughter to try new things.

Good luck!

She DID say something to you, and you ignored her.
You should have just said, this is what I choose to pack for my daughter, why do you have a problem with it?
Put it back on her.
Maybe she is concerned that your daughter isn't getting a balanced lunch.
Still, unless there are food allergies, or school rules involved (like no candy at school) I don't think a teacher should be monitoring what parents pack for their kids.
Talk to the teacher about it, and if there's still a problem, speak to the director.
ETA: also, since you weren't there, how do you know exactly what was said? Three year olds take things out of context all the time, to HATE someone based on the words of a child seems really over the top and immature :-(

Wait, what?
She did talk to you. Maybe she was expressing a concern, who knows? And rather than talk to her about it you ignored her. You could have just said, thanks but this is what she likes to eat every day.
Is this how you plan to communicate with all your daughter's teachers going forward, by ignoring their concerns and bitching about them behind their backs?
Of course it's up to you to pack whatever you want for your child, but you need to learn how to communicate with the people you leave her with every day.

is there more behind this than the teacher suggesting she try other foods? It doesn't sound like the teacher has a problem with it. Also, she's not telling you what to feed your child. She's just encouraging her to try something new. She's not saying your choices are bad or anything. It's even possible some of the other kids said something about her always having the same lunch and the teacher stepped in. I think you're making more out of this than it is.

Part of being a teacher involves talking about nutrition. She is doing a good thing.

As far as your daughter "refusing" other things, who is the mom here?

Hate is a pretty strong word for this situation. Hang on for a long ride, Mama--she is only 3 and will have many, many more teachers.

**I'm guessing you see this as a slap in the face to your parenting and that is why you hate her with 6 exclamation points. She's just doing her job so get over it.

Sorry but you're out of line. Eating a variety of foods and healthy and normal and is a goal. The teacher addressed this with you and your reason was that your daughter "refuses" to bring anything else. That in and of itself is absurd. You as the parent pack what you want - whether or not she eats it is up to her, but she is not the one who decides what to bring. You're the one who is deciding to indulge in her pickiness. That's fine, we all choose our battles, but you're the one who gave your daughter's preferences as the reason for this unhealthy lunch.

Sometime when kids are rigid about things, hearing it from another person makes them more flexible and open to trying new things. My niece magically eats things at my house that she refuses when my sister offers them. I'm sure that the teacher's intent was to open your daughter's mind up to the idea of eating a wider variety of foods for lunch. You should be thanking her for caring and encouraging your daughter to want to try something other than the lousy lunch you've been packing.

And the line "I feel she has not right to tell me what to feed my child" makes you sound like you're five. Grow up.

Okay, so your daughter's preschool teacher has requested that you send something different besides the bagel and cream cheese and being magnanimous, you have chosen to ignore the request...

instead of asking a simple "why"?

Could it be that your daughter takes it apart and makes a mess of it? I know I would request that a child bring a different food if lunch was turning into a sensory event. And I know kids who do deconstruct their food and make a mess of it. Hard to eat a whole bagel while it's put together, and hard not to make a mess if it's taken apart.

I think you need to find another childcare option. You refused to comply with the request, you apparently feel that your daughter is in charge of her lunch (um, she's three, she's not the adult, I am not sure how she can 'refuse to bring anything else' as she is not the one making the lunches). Personally, I don't consult my son about any more than one simple aspect of his lunch, as is "do you want red peppers or carrots?" or "would you prefer an apple or a banana".

The teacher did tell you she had a problem with it. You chose to be passive-aggressive and ignore her instead of asking a question why, which would have been a very simple way to resolve the issue. Sometimes preschool teachers ask parents to bring in something different because the child isn't getting whole nutrition, or the meal is turning into a problem in how it's eaten, or because the child isn't getting enough of the other stuff to keep them going through the afternoon. I don't know.

But I do know that actually *hating* someone over this issue is plenty immature and does not solve any problems. So, maybe changing preschools is in order. But I imagine you will have problems at other places, mainly because teachers don't take kindly to being ignored. If the teacher is at the point that they are addressing the children, it is usually because the parent was not being responsive or responsible about the problem and the teacher is running out of options.

Well, just as I don't see you as being necessarily negligent for sending the same thing for your daughter every day, I don't see anything wrong with your daughter's teacher encouraging her to bring other things to eat.
You say that your daughter refuses to take anything else. I have two kids and they both went through phases of being on a roll with something, but they never refused to eat anything else. Your daughter is only 3, no offense, but I'm wondering why she is allowed to refuse other foods.

Her teacher may know, as I know very well, that kids will often be willing to do or try things for other people. I really think she was just trying to encourage her and that you shouldn't take it so personally. Surely your daughter sees other children eating a variety of foods. I think the teacher might have just been letting her know that variety is good.

HATE seems like an awfully strong word to use in a situation like this.
I don't think the teacher overstepped her bounds. In school, children learn about the food pyrimid, etc. There is nothing wrong with them knowing about nutrition and the different things their bodies need to grow up strong and healthy.

I love bagels and cream cheese. It's one of my favorites. But, I would get totally burnt out on it if that's all I had for lunch every day all week long.
You can make sandwiches with bagels. Your daughter might enjoy having pita pockets.

Just between you and me, again, no offense intended, I would deal with the refusal of other foods situation. I simply never would have catered to that, not for my own children, and not for the kids I provided daycare for.

Just my opinion.

It's the middle of May. Surely you've talked with the teacher about it before now. Personally, I have no problem with the teacher expressing that opinion to my child. Did it upset her in some way? Perhaps hearing this from another adult would be helpful in getting her to try something new. I mean, it's simply not healthy to eat the exact same food day in and day out, and if the program focuses on healthy eating, which most preschools do at some point or another, the subject of eating the same carb laden lunch day in and day out must come up (and no, a bagel and cream cheese is NOT a healthy lunch). And yes, she should bring it up with you -- and she HAS. Of course she has no right to tell you what to feed your kid, but she can certainly express an opinion or make suggestions to you and your child -- you DID hire her to educate your child, after all, and preschool teachers often also serve as parent consultants. Getting "pissed off" seems a little ridiculous and inflated as a response, IMO.

I see this as the teacher helping you help your daughter try new foods. I would not look at her comment in a negative way at all. I suggest it's even possible that your daughter wasn't so interested in the bagel and the teacher was responding to that. I find it very unusual that a child would want a bagel and cream cheese everyday for lunch for several months.

I just read your earlier post in which you said your daughter thrived in preschool. So why is it you hate her teacher? The teacher must be doing something right.

Somehow I missed where she told your daughter to bring something else or gave her any directive whatsoever...

Your daughter (quite obviously) is in charge of bringing her own lunch, and what she wants she gets. Right? The teacher simply gave your daughter some information: she is allowed to bring in other items, it doesn't always have to be the same things.
The end.
Why do you want to die on this hill? This is preschool. I hope you buckle your seatbelt, or plan to homeschool starting at age 4...

The teacher is entitled to her opinion, and it might be valid, but it's YOUR decision what to pack your daughter for lunch.

Btw, I don't feel that making a casual comnent about trying something different to a 3 year old is a heinous offense!

Do you have older kids? Buckle your seatbelt for elementary school! Lol

omg, don't be that drama mama!
@@
khairete
S.

I have to ask: Are you posting here to get validation and hear that you're right? Or are you truly open to opinions that don't match yours? You're getting a lot of those and I hope you can read them with an open mind and consider changing your position. I've seen so many posts lately where the mom clearly only wanted positive posts that affirmed her own opinion that I had to note it.

I would add to the other posts: Bear in mind your child is three and this is preschool. If you are this filled with "hate" and rage over this subject, which is worth a mere eye-roll from you and nothing more, what then will happen when your child is older? What happens when she's in "real" school and the conflict is over something that actually matters -- like teaching style, or a grade, or an issue with another student? If you are reacting this strongly toward the teacher over this, now, what will you do when these more serious issues come up -- explode? Be "that" raging parent? Because....that parent does not get listened to, but gets dismissed as a drama parent. If you don't learn to step back from your own emotions now, early, and if you don't learn to work with your child's teachers and not see them as enemies -- you and she will have a miserable 12 years of school.

Can you step back from your own emotions enough to see that this is a ridiculous situation that you could have avoided long ago if you had not always caved to your child's preferences and had said "Eat what I send" at least once in a while?

The are rules for my daughters, that are imposed on by their school, that dictate to some degree what food they can bring for lunch. I think educators are trying to tackle the childhood obesity problem in the USA. I am ok with this. I think it is for a good cause. Mama, is this really the thing you want to fret over? There will be plenty of stuff to agonize over as a mom. To me, this one is not worth it. Maybe I am missing something here but I am not sure why this means so much to you. I respect your Mama Bear mode, but I just wonder why get protective over something where your daughter is not being mistreated or harmed in any way? Maybe you are embarrassed that your daughter is refusing to eat other food?

Apart from the teacher angst, I think it's important to have your child try NEW things at a young age so as to introduce their taste buds and allow her to develop tastes for other things. Example, we have rarely given my son processed juice and instead have always been big water drinkers and now, he has that habit... This includes lots of veggies and fresh fruits.

Really, I don't know what all that bagel eating will do to your daughter and I do understand when a person enjoys eating something.

I will say this, I lived in a foster home where for FIVE years all we could have for breakfast were cornflakes, powdered milk and saccharin... (yuck)

For lunch, ONLY peanut butter/grape jelly sandwiches and one apple...
Dinner, some sort of hamburger helper and that was it.. never snacks in between.. no real type of veggies and other than the apple, no other fruits..

granted , my situation is different in that I did not have a choice of different foods and therefore, often, I skipped meals due to being sick of eating the same things....

However, what us kids missed out on were lots of nutrients and vitamins found in LIVE food... This is what I think may be the case to some degree with your daughter.. Maybe the teacher is just looking out for her.. in this day and age, it's sure go to know that someone is noticing these things and the kid isn't jsn't just going by the wayside.

Instead of seeing this as her doing something against you... maybe begin to view it as her taking up for your child.. There is a kid in my son's class whom for some reason NEVER eats lunch... my son notices and says the kid is really hungry but has too much pride to say so... However, the teacher never intervenes... BUT on occasion if my son offers to share his food, the child will sometimes takes it..

I don't really understand why this is an issue. The teacher may have just been joking with your daughter that she can bring something else. Or, maybe your daughter during lunch time made a comment that one of her friends had something she wanted to try. My son would talk all the time at pre-k about the kids that had Lunchables, the teachers mentioned it in passing to me, but when I would ask him if he wanted me to buy him one to try, he said no, that he just wanted the same turkey sandwich he had every day for a year. The teachers and I joked about it.
Is it really a reason to "hate" your daughters teacher?? Really???

This could simply be her encouraging your daughter to try new foods, and it could also be a passive aggressive attempt to show that you don't know best. Sometimes children are more likely to try something when a non parent says it. Or, she thinks you're lame for not trying new lunches. I get that your irked. Heck, this is one of the reasons I don't do preschool! I'm not ready for outside influences at three. I'm the parent! But you hate her for this? Keep your kid at home then. Preschool is overrated. They have the rest of their lives for academics and classroom structure. Toddler years are short enough without farming them off.

Your daughter is 3... maybe the teacher does have issues with her eating bagels everyday. But maybe she said something to your daughter that isn't verbatim what your daughter heard and translated to you. The point being, that you should pause for a moment before you start "hating" someone for talking to your child about food choices. You don't know the context of the conversation.

Maybe she has no right to tell you what to feed your daughter, but there are so many worse things that could be happening other than her showing concern for your child's nutritional intake. If you're happy with everything else and this is the only "issue" consider yourself lucky.

Just my two cents...

Okay so she is encouraging your daughter to try new foods. That sounds like a good thing to me. I mean if you don't want her teacher talking with her or making suggestions to you then why not just keep her home. I mean really do you not want your daughters teacher to be able to approach you. You need to learn to say okie dokie and either take it or leave it and move on, not hate someone over it. My kids teachers make comments to me all the time. I appreciate their concern for my kid but I am confident I know what's best for my kids. And a bagel and cream cheese is not a healthy lunch...

just the thought of eating bagels and cream cheese EVERY day for lunch makes me gag. that is an awful thing to do to your child. bagels are not healthy, cream cheese is awful, and incorporating NO fruits or veggies - EVER - at lunch time, is a silly and ignorant choice. she's three. she doesn't make the rules - YOU do. or should.

the teacher's job is to TEACH her - since you're not teaching her better eating habits, and the teacher already talked to you about this to no avail, gosh- i give her kudos for at least TRYING to undo what you're doing here. be as pissed off as you like - she's right. your daughter doesn't have the option of "refusing to bring anything else". she's 3. she eats what you give her. you are the problem here. sorry. you are "that mom". ugh.

and by the way - the three year old that is dictating what she "will" and "will not" accept as meal items - also probably (like 99%) misquoted her teacher. a three year old's perception of reality is completely different than what actually happened. another example of you giving WAY too much power to a 3 year old.

the quicker you realize that your child's teachers are your allies, not your enemies, the better for your child. three is SO young to already be drawing these battle lines. i guarantee she's not the devil you are making her out to be. back off. for your child's sake.

In the scheme of things, not a big deal. I think the teacher would just like to have her try different things. If this is the only thing she eats, I see that as a problem. She cannot be getting all the nutrients she needs. There must be something else she eats and can take for a change. I guess f you are not concerned with that diet, the teacher should not be, but I can see her point.
I think by mentioning it to your daughter, she was hoping that maybe she would be agreeable to something else. I would not be upset over that.

I work in a SPED classroom... one of the students brings in spaghetti EVERY day! She also brings a carton of yogurt for breakfast....

However, we know that that particular child thrives on routine.... she likes knowing exactly what she will have every day.

She is also somewhat picky, too...... however, her M. hides other veggies and such in the spaghetti sauce...... she really has a wonderful mother that is being very careful about her diet, and controlling how much she eats, since sometimes these kids can become very overweight if you don't control their access to food.

You know what your child will eat, and frankly, life is too short to get so bent out of shape over a teacher's comment. I think you are feeling that she is criticizing your parenting, and are getting pissy about that. You have many years of school to go to worry about a comment about that at this age.

It sounds like your daughter's teacher was just trying to help encourage her to be more open-minded to eating other types of food. Part of her job is to help teach and encourage proper nutrition.

I understand that as the parent, it's easier from time to time to "give in" to our kids wants/desires, rather than encouraging them to eat something more nutritious. I do it, too, and so do probably 95% of moms! But the key here is "from time to time"... not every day. You have a very, very important responsibility to encourage your daughter to eat a balanced and healthy diet. It will help her stay healthy all of her life if she makes good eating habits now. If it's too hard a job for you to do, why get so mad at the teacher for trying to do it? That's like saying, "I am so mad! My daughter loves to play in the street, and I am too busy to tell her not to! But her nosy teacher told her she shouldn't!"

And you hate her why? It sounds like she is encouraging your daughter to eat more of a variety of foods. What is wrong with that? I don't really understand why you are so pissed about it. The teacher talking to your daughter about it is a good thing. She is trying to encourage/help/teach her to eat more healthy. One of my kids is insanely picky and any teacher who would take the time to notice and try to get him to branch out would be a-ok in my book. Why don't you listen and try packing something new each day...who knows, perhaps at school, with her teacher's encouragement, your daughter will start eating more of a variety of lunches.

You have gotten a lot of good answers. Here is my take on this. She is a girl and she is the future mother to the future generations. Feeding her the nutrients she needs now will help her when she becomes pregnant.

Remember a child will TAKE from the mother what it needs and does not give a damn about what the mother's health is like so long as it gets what it needs. So down the line we mommas not all of us suffer from the results of pregnancy. There are so many issues about children in this country and the problems they have and many of them stem from not having the proper foods.

So think about what I have said about feeding children what the need and not what they want and like. We have to prepare them to care for their bodies and to survive in the world. So if you eat "garbage in" all the time. You have garbage out.

You are the parent and you should be presenting all kinds of colors in the food menu. If you make it colorful she will probably enjoy trying it and eating it. If you don't over cook the food she will probably enjoy it. Some kids will eat veggies raw and others cooked.

Good luck. Start now so she isn't a picky eater.

the other S.

PS You are going to have to change the way you see things so that you don't become the parent that was described by many writers. No one's child is an angel in school. My two are grown now but we had some challenging situations that they learned from and now understand why mom was the way she was then.

Well, you are right that unless you are sending food for everyone (like for snack time) that she doesn't like (which isn't the case), that it's not the teacher's business what you send. However, you are wrong about her crossing a line by talking to your daughter. It just that it's not her business what your daughter eats.

Gosh, there are so many other reasons not to like a teacher. I hope this isn't really the reason. If it is, you are going to have a tough time throughout your daughter's school career.

Just go talk to the principal and tell her that you are having a problem with your daughter's teacher trying to micro-manage your daughter's lunch, and that you would appreciate it if she asked the teacher to leave it alone.

Meanwhile, you really do need to help your daughter branch out into something else to eat. If she truly will NOT eat anything else for lunch, you actually have a problem on your hands.

Your current post states she loves preschool..... seems like no harm is done. Take her advice or don't, do you have to hate her ?

I partly understand because it is difficult when your child acts stubborn and insists on only eating certain foods and not others. And it is easier just to give in. However, a child really does need to have variety in their diet to have a healthy diet. She's still just three, so she can still learn to love a variety of foods. Start introducing her to more foods little by little. This picky eating problem can be pervasive so nip it. Please don't be so angry with the teacher because it seems to me that she is observant and really trying to be helpful. And believe me, this is just the beginning. There are years and years of other people especially teachers that will teach your children all kinds of wonderful things. That teacher is not "crossing the line". I could make a page long list of all the non-academic good things that teachers have taught my son.

My daughter eats the same thing every day for lunch.It IS normal and not considered SPECIAL NEEDS. Some kids just like certain foods. Its fine for her to question why she always has the same thing and to encourage different foods, but to TELL you to pack her something different is out of line. My daughter's teachers never commented on her always eating the same thing. She's picky. They know that. As long as what she's eating is reasonably healthy and as long as she is eating, its none of their business!

The teacher did nothing wrong. She was helping to encourage your daughter to broaden her food choices. Why would you have a problem with that?

Seriously, you need to learn to pick your battles. If you "hate" your daughter's teacher over cream cheese bagels then you're in for a very rough ride and are going to "hate" every single one of your daughter's teachers through college.

Maybe you should think about why this is the hill you're choosing to die on? Why do you think the teacher was out of line in having a conversation with your daughter about food choices? My children used to come home from preschool and kindergarten excited about the healthy food lessons they had. They were always inspired to try new foods after those lessons. It even got my autistic daughter to eat broccoli and ask to try cauliflower.

EDIT: Please understand that I do know what it's like to have a picky eater. My autistic daughter is pickiest of picky AND has a restricted diet due to food sensitivities and intolerances. We've gone through many times where she would only eat particular foods, but they were still healthy choices because I don't provide unhealthy choices to begin with.

And not for nothing but the teacher DID talk to you repeatedly prior to talking nutrition with your daughter. But she's a teacher. She's allowed to talk to your daughter. It's her job.

If I sent my son to school every day with lunch he would probably have me make the same thing (peanut butter and jelly waffle sandwiches, yogurt and an apple) He is 8 and in second grade. luckily he does like to get school lunch a few times a week but if its not school lunch he asks for his regular. Im not getting where the special needs comes in for wanting the same lunch. thats just silly. Now to address the issue, im sure the teacher wasnt telling her what to eat just that she can bring in different foods. no line crossed by talking to your daughter. It would be a totally different thing if she took away your daughters lunch telling her it was unacceptable. I would probably just keep sending bagles to spite the teacher and then giggle about it maniacally while putting it in her lunch box but thats about the extent I would go with that.

If the lunch thing is the only issue, it sounds like an overreaction. There is nothing wrong with having the same lunch every day, as long as it is relatively healthy, which a bagel and cream cheese is. However, there is nothing wrong with the teacher suggesting other alternatives either. The fact that she suggested this to your daughter is not a big deal, unless she was being rude about it. I suppose you can look for another preschool becuase of this, but if you are otherwise happy with your daughter's preschool, I would let it go, good preschools are hard to find, not to mention the adjustment to a new environment your daughter will need to make.

All I can see in this is "my daughter refuses to bring anything else." I assume you mean to take anything else.

Seriously, a three year old "refuses?" She had control of the kitchen and nutrition decisions? If so, this teacher is the least of your problems.

I have no opinion about the teacher's behavior. But if you have already given control of food to a three year old you are in for a very difficult 15 more years of education and parenting.

She might be trying to encourage your child to try something new, but if the kid wants the same thing and is otherwise happy and healthy, there are worst things a kid could eat. I would ask the teacher to let the matter drop. The year is over in a few weeks, right? And presumably your child will be in another class in the fall? So I'd not worry too much about this. There are bigger issues for which to hate a teacher.

And if the teacher won't drop it or will be your child's teacher again, nicely and calmly bring up your concerns with the director.

RE: a child wanting one thing for lunch - I see it as not a thing worth fighting over. If she wanted candy every day, then yeah. But a bagel (which you might make any flavor of bagel, or whole wheat) and cream cheese for one meal? How Bread and Jam for Francis of her. My DD gets very similar things day in and day out. Lunchmeat. String cheese. Drink. Raisins. That's not so much different than this kid. My stepkids ate Stouffer's Mac and Cheese over and over and over again for breakfast. It was hot and portable and filling. It worked. We decided not to care. If that was all they ever ate, yeah, we'd have to speak up or risk scurvy or something, but one item for one meal? Meh. Getting out the door on time was a bigger issue.

When I was in 3rd grade, my Dad packed us kids the exact same lunch (a tuna sandwich, wrapped in tin foil) for the ENTIRE school year. The only change is when we bought on hamburger day, which was rare. When it was finally mentioned to him at the end of the year, he looked confused. 'You never told me you wanted something different'. 'You never asked.'

The teacher did speak to you, apparently several times since Sept.
Did you every ask WHY she has a problem with a bagel and cream cheese? Maybe there is a student that has a milk allergy.
Maybe your daughter makes a mess when she eats it.

Again, what is the reason behind the request.

Your getting bashed from other parents I'll try not to. But note its not a big deal what the teacher is trying to do. Who knows maybe your daugther makes a huge mess with the cream cheese. Not sure how well cream cheese keeps in lunch boxes with ices. My daughter tried that once and said it didnt keep well. Kids go through phases though this month its cream cheese next week it will be pb&J.. Nutrient wize though you might want to pack some fruit in the lunch box.

I once made the mistake of sending a small lunch-sized bag of Cheetos as a snack for my grandson who is in kindergarten. Without any sort of prior warning, the teacher took the Cheetos from him telling him that they are now allowed to have chips. So my grandson had no snack!

Now, if she were to have called to say please don't send them anymore, that would have been fine. Or if she had replaced the snack with something else, that would have been okay. But to take the ONLY thing he had for snack, really pissed me off.

Maybe chips aren't the most healthy thing, but that day I had nothing else to send. It should not be up to the teacher what we feed our children, as long as we're not loading them up with sugar.

They really take their perceived authoity waayyyy too far. This is one of the reasons I have NEVER liked teachers since my own daughter, who is now 32, was in school!

My granddaughter eats peanut butter and jelly every day except chicken day or pizza day. She's happy and I don't really care. I am not the dictator I used to be when it comes to food. I don't think it's the teachers job to address this with your child especially since she's 3.

I think that when school is out in a couple of weeks you should just make sure she doesn't end up with the same teacher for Pre-K. It will be a totally different world for her at regular school in the fall if she's 4 by then.

Your are a mother and you know what's best for your child.

I'd be annoyed too. Likely you're a good mom and this teacher is second guessing you so much on something that's not that big a deal. However, I'm not sure a 3 year old can relay what was said that accurately... Is this teacher good overall? I will say that a bagel with cream cheese isn't that nutritious. My mom is big into nuitrition and a bagel with cream cheese drives her nuts. Bagels are high in sodium, just carbs, and the cream cheese (from what she tells me, i haven't researched, has very little value too.) So maybe this teacher is of the same thought as my mom and overall means well. Really not her business given she's said something to you already and it's not junk food. I'd talk to her laughing "Suzy said now you're giving her a hard time about her bagel! What's up with that? Do you just hate bagels?" Then tell her you're sure that Suzy gets fruits and veggies and protein at home and you appreciate her concern but please let it go. Then see how she is... If this teacher is always kind of snotty to you and this is just one example, then you have to take a step back and look at the school, see if she seems good with the kids since tha'ts the important part etc.

Isn't the school year almost over - or does she go in the summer? If it's almost over, I'd let it go...

As the mom of the pickiest child on earth, I understand giving the same lunch every day...they do get better as they're older. I don't think it's the teacher's business...if your kid is healthy and eating enough to grow...not a problem.

It may be time to have a heart to heart with the teacher to let her know that this is the best you can do right now and you'd appreciate if she's let it go.

You can be very nice but get an agreement from her that there will be no more discussion about it.

hello, my Interpretation of this, is that she is crossing the line! As long as your daughter isnt :
1. bringing in foods that put other kids at risk (like the whole peanut allergy thing) or;
2. isnt bring in anything inappropriate or complex for teacher to prepare,

that teacher needs to mind her own business. My daughter was the exact same. She LOVES bagels and cream cheese! one day in class, while talking about what healthy foods are, she asked each child what they're favorite food for breakfast, and my daughter and my daughter enthusiastically answered " bagel and cream cheese!".... I received a note telling me that my daughter was eating inappropriate foods for breakfast! I photocopied her note as well as my response, telling her she was not only sadly mistaken, but that she crossed the line in all sorts of ways! i then took her note AND my note to the principle and she not only was astonished but embarrassed and apologized over and over for the teachers note.
The next day my daughter brought home a note from the teacher apologizing for crossing the line.
There is NO problem with your daughter taking bagels and cream cheese in her lunch! maybe put a little note in her lunch bag stating something like " if you have an issue with her lunch......call me!" and your ph#... might shut her up because she is too afraid to confront a pissed off mom!!! lol ..... i wish you good luck, and please let us know how it turns out!!

Are you sure the teacher "told" you what to bring in or did she request that you try something different? Could your daughter have expressed interest in another food item that another child was eating, so she was trying to give you some hints.

I am a preschool teacher and a mom. I have had to talk to many parents about sending donuts, chips, and a juice box...and nothing else for lunch. We are not doing it to be hateful..it's being helpful. Why have you let this and any other issue you have go on for 9 months and not talked to the director? It's your choice where your child goes at that age. If you dislike her teacher that much, why is she still in that teacher's care? There are always going to be teachers that might not be on the same page as you, but getting angry and frustrated is not good for you or your child. Believe me, your child understands everything that is going on. Boy would I love to be a fly on the wall in that classroom. I bet the picture is a little different.

I would hope the year is almost over.. so school is almost over and you will soon get a new teacher. I have not loved all of the teachers we have had... some are terrible.. some are just ok.. some are great.

I agree that she should mind her own business about what your kid eats. however it is not a big deal that she said that... and your daughter was not injured in any way..

It's none of the teacher's business! I could see if you were sending her with only a bag of Cheetos as lunch, she should step in, but this isn't anything extreme. I know so many kids -- who are not special needs -- who love to eat the same thing all the time.

I would contact the preschool's director and address this issue. The teacher is crossing the line. If the director doesn't solve the problem, I'd seriously consider another school. If this teacher is harassing your daughter about lunch, imagine how she handles other situations?

On a lighter note, I'm craving a bagel with cream cheese now! Yum! Your daughter has good taste. :)

Don't let it bother you, do what you want and teach your daughter not to let what others say bother her if it's just their opinion.

Wonder if this teacher has children of her own. My oldest ate PB & J in her lunch for YEARS at that age. She was very picky and now is a little foodie with very eclectic and diverse tastes. Do what works for you and let the rest go.

Talk to the teacher if it will make you feel better, I personally would just ignore it and tell my daughter that she can eat whatever you and her decide and that it's not up to the teacher to decide.

I agree the teacher is probably just trying to get your daughter to expand her horizons..... not so terrible. However, if you feel she chastised your daughter, especially in front of the other children, then by all means call her. No need to make a huge deal. It's the end of the year, but you might tell her your daughter is happy with this lunch and you would just like her to drop the subject as it seems to upset her...... or you, whoever is getting upset.

That would piss me off too. That teacher is trying to be the 'mother' here and dictate what your daughter eats. I would march down to that school and tell that 'teacher' that what YOU choose to put in your daughter's mouth really isnt her business.

I too have a 6 year old son that is very picky about what he eats. On top of that, he has to be reminded to eat. With that being said, as long as he's eating something, I'm happy. When I pack my son's lunch, I give him a selection to choose from like gold fish crackers, fruit snacks, snack cakes, string cheese, applesauce, etc. If he doesn't eat certain things out of his lunch bag, I can always put it in his lunch again for another day, since a lot of it's packaged and won't go bad. I've also informed his school that if there's anything being served for lunch that day that he would prefer having instead, that it's fine by me.