I Need Some Advice Regarding My Nanny

What consequenses do the children have for misbehaving while under the nanny's care? (besides an appology letter) Do they loose priveledges like tv, computer etc?
I think you need to ask the nanny to sit and talk with you. Find out what is going on that warrants her to want to leave so soon. Then you need to address the issues that are bothering her.
Then you need to sit the children down and find out what is going on from their perspective. Do they really want her to go, and if so why?
some times there are just personalities that don't work well together. If there are no serious issues that warrant you letting her go, I would take the nanny's concerns and address them seriously and try to get her to stay a little bit longer to see if she is a good match.

Well now I am all curious as to what Theresa N said!!! :)
I am a mother of two boys and I nanny, full time a little girl who is almost 4. She has a brother and sister (14 and 11) that I watch during the summer when they are not in school. So, my first question is how old is your nanny? I am 33 and know my place. If she is still very young (early 20's) sometimes it is hard to assert yourself. You need to sit down with the nanny and your children at the same time and let your nanny know just how much power she has.
In my situation, I have ALL the power. I am the stand in mom. If I say "no" then the answer is no. If I tell them to pick up their toys, then they do. And if they do not, then there are consequences (time out, no treat ect). If your daughter's are not willing to listen to the nanny as the person in charge, then I feel sorry for the nanny! You obviously interviewed many people so you think that you picked the best person to help you raise your children. You kids need to understand that what nanny says, goes. Even if it is something different than what normally happens in your family. They follow her rules and then bring to you any concerns that they may have. THen, the next time you see her (the nanny) you discuss it. Do not call your nanny at home just to make your daughter feel better. That's your job to tell her that you will talk with the nanny the next morning.
Your children need to understand that the same respect they show you is to be shown to the nanny. Your nanny needs to understand that the same respect you show to your kids needs to be shown by her. Nannying is a very hard job, and it is hard to find a family that you mesh with. I am blessed that it has worked out well for me (i have been with the same family for 3 years).
L.
Oh yeah, just my own opinion. Sometimes a mama makes a better nanny then all those girls that have "childhood 101" under their belts!

That's a tough situation. How frustrating. Surely your nanny knows that kids act out every now and then. Was discipline discussed?

Your nanny should not have taken that personally... as parents we deal with very frustrating things- but then move on. If you really like her I would ask her to stay and then discuss how things should be handled in the future if this were to happen again. Such as time-outs, toys being taken away, sent to her room, etc. Your daughter needs to learn respect (4 is a great age to start understanding things like that), and your nanny needs to toughen up... in a way, they are "her kids" too- remind her of that and let her know how important she already is to you.

A little background on me... I'm a M. of four girls AND a nanny- so I know both sides! I have a lot more suggestions. If you are interested, message me.

Good Luck!

Any nanny worth her salt should be able to either charm your 4 year old or whip her into shape without a childish threat "that she won't play with her anymore." And she should be talking to you not texting you. Keep looking.

I think change is hard for everyone - especially the children. It's not fair to anyone to expect it all to just fall into place immediately. I think your family should sit down and discuss this issue separate from the nanny first and then with her. I'd tell the children that she wants to leave. I'd ask them how they'd feel if she left. Ask what they like and don't like about the nanny and then discuss it. Their feelings need to be taken seriously - as do the nanny's.
You'd obviously have to get another nanny, so there's another transition if she leaves. I don't think a month is a very long time to establish the bond you are looking for between the children and the nanny especially since they had one leave already...
YMMV
LBC

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I agree with those who said take the cue from the children, say good-bye. Children are very aware of what is going on, no matter how young. Next time you interview, have the children around as well. Also, find a way to observe her/ him. Make sure they aren't doing other stuff while with the children.

I think the nanny is a poor fit. I have no idea how seasoned she is, it seems she's much better at housekeeping which is often an indicator that this has been where her duties have centered. Decide whether or not you want a nanny or a housekeeper. I do not know ANYONE who has both. The best you'll get is a nanny who is relatively clean or a housekeeper who is pleasant but doesn't really know how to or want to play with kids. This nanny seems very intolerant of children, children can be rotten, they go through phases, theyre kids. Bonding takes time and there are ups and downs. Kids tell their parents they hate them! I really think you need a new nanny. it would be one thing if the misunderstanding or tension was with YOU and her then I could see her quitting but since its only about the kids, its absurd. I think I may end up going without a nanny because I could never find one I liked. I always liked the young girls babysitting but they were never reliable. I never really had a professional nanny which probably would've fit well. I have former moms as nannies and alot of them need too much validation which I cant give all day. I also dont like having my buttons pushed that someone is spending more time with my kids than me which actually isnt even the case. I am close to firing my current nanny because she cant seem to go a day without explaining how useful she is or behaving like she somehow knows my kids better than I. Speaking of housekeeping, she will watch me do it and not offer to help so I traded that off because she is playful.

i think sometimes 4 year olds take things to personally sometimes. i know my four year old does.( he constantly tells me he's going to tell his grandmother on me lol) and anytime someone tells him no, or does something other then he wants he says they are being mean to me. if your twelve year old wrote her an apology for something she did then the nanny must be doing something right and you too. because most twelve year olds won't do that. maybe you can arrange a sit down with her and your children and try and find out what the problem is and come to a common ground. if you found someone that respects your household and is doing her job right the majority of time then i think you found a winner. and also it's hard to trust just anyone with your children sometimes you can't even trust your family! so maube you can work something out. and i agree with the other mom who said change is hard sometimes especially with a young one. good luck and hope you can resolve this issue.

Isn't a NANNY for children?? So if they do not like her its for a good reason. Get a new one.

J.,
If she is just a month old in your household, maybe she needs a little more time to feel settled in and part of the family. It also depends how mature she is, and how old she is. It sounds as she might need a little more time. Is this the first nanny job she has? If so, then just give her a couple more weeks. If not, then start looking for someone else. Maybe she thought she could handle being a nanny but she can't, especially if she takes things so personally.
Blessings

If your kids aren't getting along with your nanny, get rid of her. I would take my cue from the kids.