I Need Some Advice.... - Salt Lake City,UT

You might try Relationship Development Intervention with Young Children by Steven Gutstein. I originally got it for my autistic son, but it is not just for special needs children.

For the fighting, I would recommend the _Sibling Rivalry_ book. I wonder if your kids are fighting for your attention. You don't have to referee every battle. I disagree with the other woman- if you model good behavior and expect it of them, they will step up to the challenge.

For the 1yo, as someone else said, give just small samples of everything, more if they are still hungry. The guideline is a tablespoon of food per year of age. Yes, only a tablespoon for your 1yo! Of course, during growth spurts they will eat a little more. If you're interested in another book, read _Child of Mine_.

I work from home, full-time as well but I can't work with my 3 year-old at home. It's honestly not fair to him or my work. He goes to a great small pre-school each morning so I can get work done (and then during nap). He loves it. Perhaps you could find a preschool for him to make friends and have fun. While it's still definitely hard with a one year old it will probably be a little easier to entertain him (as they get older they definitely need more structured activities) and get your work done too. As for your picky eater just keep offering a variety of food choices including at least one option you know he likes and eventually he'll start to eat. Also, make sure you sit down with him to eat and eat something as well, to model eating -- smelling, taking more etc.

Good Luck

Hi S.,
I have a very picky eater he is 4 now and is finally eatting more of a variety. Children will get enough to eat though even though it doesn't seem like they do. I am looking for a job to do at home, maybe we could help each other out with babysitting. Let me know what your work at home job is, I live in Lafayette. I have 2 boys 4 and 7.

Thanks,

L.
###-###-####

I also have 2 boys that drive me crazy (3 if you count my hubby)!
Well good luck to you working at home, I can't help you there because I have no idea how I would manage that, I guess try to cram all my work into naptime.
My boys aren't quite to the playing together age, but already my 2 1/2 year old picks on my 6 month old like crazy. I've tried to discipline my oldest, but that doesn't seem to help so I just kind of let them go unless it's getting really serious then I just separate them or redirect my oldest to something else.
About the picky eating, I think as long as he's getting some sort of healthy fruits and vegetables, etc. I don't think it really matters that he has a whole variety of things. I've known lots of kids that were extremely picky as children and have grown up perfectly healthy so I wouldn't worry about it too much, just keep trying.
Also, at a year old my son LOVED to throw food on the floor. We basically let him do it and would just clean up after. There's probably 2 options here: 1. put him in a spot you can clean up or put a washable mat underneath him or 2. take his food away... he may not be hungry and this is his way of telling you. He's going to learn pretty fast that if he throws it, he doesn't eat. (also make sure you give him some sort of playtime with throwing a ball or something, maybe he's just discovered how fun throwing is and uses this as his "playtime")

When i was working from home with my then 2 & 4 year olds, I created a basket of toys,that were ONLY played with when i worked. Let them help you pick if they arent fit throwers.. ;) Otherwise do it after they go to bed. I also let them each pick out one new toy/game/movie, for the basket so that they would comprehend the idea of it, of course with some coaching, but it worked really well for me. As for my little one- as you know they love the cupboards w/ pots & pan etc., i would place treasures inside of the tupperware & pans for her to find to slow her ransack, they love being allowed to take the lids off & get the treasure too!

As for your picky eater... The test of wills is on! A plastic table cloth under the "Hi" & trial & error babe! If they like it let um eat it, just like yours they're body is telling them/you what they need, like if all he wants to eat is corndogs, hes probably needing some sort of protien & grain and i found they go in cycles, almost like when some women are on their "cycle"..... sweet, salty, protein, fresh. I just followed their "Q's" in a way, you know your kids :0) Mine @ 1 loved chicken nuggets dipped in applesauce.

Read "1,2,3 Magic". Seriously. It's like a secret that everyone knows, but doesn't benefit by until they read it and go... "well, DUH, I knew that." It's an easy read, and your boys will thank you.

First thing, boys are just rough-n-tumble, very willful, and independent; I'm learning with my son because he does the same thing to his 1yr old sister and doesn't listen. Second, it sounds like he is jealous of his little brother because he's no longer the baby & the center of attention. With him, you need to show him that he is loved just as much as his little brother. You need to also let him know that you are in charge, not him; that if he is not good, he will be punished. But if he's good, he will get loving attention.

Now your youngest is being picky with food, they're just learning what they do or don't like. Try smaller amounts of food to see what they do, and if they're still hungry when they're done, you'll know to give them some more. Also try different varities of foods(even if you wouldn't care to eat them), and you'll find some things he likes & dislikes. Then you'll have a rough idea of what his tastes are. And I have learned that food will end up on the floor, until you train them to know that's not a good thing to do. About age 2, it'll be easier to get this across to them. Maybe he's trying to get your attention, too. Above all be patient and loving with them. I hope some of this will help you.

As hard as this sounds you are never going to get your 4 year old to stop picking on the 1 year old. Not until they go to college. Your four year old is old enough for preschool maybe you should check into one for a few hours a day. they could use a break from each other and so could you. If you cant do that maybe try a personal space. The one year old can still go in a playpen and the four year old can go on a blanket or something that way they are not on top of each other all the time. Working from home is rough I dont envy you for that. but there are times that kids have just to much togetherness. oh and dont worry about the picky eater he is one they are all picky eaters. Finger food best thing on earth whatever he can hold in his little hand that he will eat. you can try the big brother peer pressure thing but that usually doesnt work until they are older.

Hi S.,

Having done daycare & having children of my own I can attest that throwing food on the floor is a phase. It's ok to say "no, no" to that but it likely won't stop until they age a bit. When they find out that you won't respond to it, it won't be fun to do anymore.

Picky eating is a phase also (most of the time) however be sure that they don't get snacks & sweets in between a few meals. Make sure he/she is good & hungry when it comes time to sit down for a meal. Food always tastes better when your hungry. Think of the times you went grocery shopping & were starved. Is your child getting a bottle/sippy in between with an unlimited amount of fluids? Maybe try limiting the amount of fluids & alternate with water. Initially, they retaliate but when they find that it's not working they stop. Believe me, they won't starve. We have a tendency to "feel guilty" for awhile but give it a couple weeks & I bet things chance if your stubborn.

I don't really have any advise about picking on each other. It is hard to work at home with kids that age. Maybe somebody else will help with that area. I think picking on each other might just be for attention. As far as kids are concerned negative attention is better than no attention. Maybe keeping the 4yo busy with some type of activities. Maybe taking the 4yo to a daycare for just 4 hrs in the morning or afternoon would give you some work time. It would also be very good for the kid learning how to interact socially. That I do know from daycare.

T.