I NEED SLEEP HELP For My 13 Month Old!!!!

Is he teething again? Does he have his 12 month molars yet?
It might be that. I have a son that had a hard time tething and you could always tell! Even when he was older.
C. B

Cosleeping is not a bad thing. It happens all over the world, and it is how many of us parents get enough sleep during the baby years. It is what has worked for me and my husband with all four of our girls. If it is what will work for you and your baby, then just do it. If you need help or support for this choice, you will find it if you look for it. (Seek out attachment parenting groups, for one.) Listen to your inner mommy voice. Only you will know what is best for you and your baby. :)

i have to echo katy and michelle. They were spot on about the development.
if you do not mind the cosleeping, go for it. additionally, maybe he is missing the before bed feeding and is waking up for the comfort of knowing you are there-- when my little guy goes to sleep without me nursing him, he wakes up early in the night than he normally does. i'm convinced it is because he misses me. Breastfeeding is not just for nutrition, (though it is obviously superior food), so if your little guy needs to be comforted, comfort him. He's still just a baby.--and besides, this too, will pass. he won't be waking up the night forever. You can do it! Good Luck!

I actually believe children sleep through the night when they are ready (I'm not convinced sleep-training works) My son did not sleep through the night until 15 months old, right when he learned how to walk. Is your son walking yet? When there are periods of huge transition, they will stop sleeping well until the skill is acquired. Is this what could be going on for you? (I know you are sick of reading books but Brazleton's Touchpoints was really reassuring to me that these regressions were normal parts of development) Does Tylenol help with the teeth? Could you put something on his gums (orajel)? I nursed my son to sleep until 15 months when he weaned himself. He now goes to sleep with no problem. Could your son be looking for reassurance in the middle of the night? Does he have a comfort object? Watch what your husband does and do the exact same thing when he is away. I found when my son was going through this, I needed to just go in and silently & firmly put him back down. (sorry this is so choppy-- just typing what comes into my head!) Good Luck!

My son just turned 16 months and he sounds almost like your son..minus the ear infections and fever blister, but similar schedules. I know, there are lots of books out there and it is frustrating. I finally figured out the concept of Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I wish someone would have just told me. Basically, it's the theory that if they are not sleeping well, to put them to bed earlier. If that doesn't work, then bedtime should be even earlier, etc. It sounded like nuts to me. I figured if we could get to the point that he was soo tired, that he'd sleep better from exhaustion. But this book says that little kids like this will get to the point that their bodies start making chemicals to fight exhaustion. So when they get overtired, everything backfires.
Anyway, I hated the cry-it-out method. We'd put him to be at 9 or 10 and once we let him cry for 3 hours. It was AWFUL! So, I went back to putting him our bed with us, so we could all get some sleep. I was VERY pregnant and exhausted. And sometimes he'd still wake up at 2 in the morning and scream until 5 AM. Once, he NEVER went back to sleep.
Anyway, we had our new baby and I was so exhausted and sleep deprived, I felt like I would try anything. I decided that I would let him cry, but only for an hour. My doctor said to do the Ferber method, but for us, it just made things worse, cause he would start all over again. SO....

We did a bedtime routine consisting of a bath, lotion, stories, songs and milk. Then we put him in his crib at about 7:30. He started screaming! I went in at 5 minutes, gave him a hug, and told him to go to sleep. That first night he cried for an hour and then, tah dah! He went to sleep! The next night he cried for a 1/2 hr. The next night it was back up to an hour, and the past two nights it has been for 5 minutes.

He still wakes up at 2 AM a lot. But I decided to wait to see what happened if we didn't go in. The first time he cried for 1/2 hr. Now, he only cries for 2 minutes tops. The book says that they are not awake enough to feel neglected. I was so desparate for sleep and the ability to take care of a newborn...and I think that was the only way I could have done something like this. Before I felt so mean, but now, it meant survival! He HAD to sleep in order for us to function! He gets it now. He knows that when he goes to bed, that's it, and we are not going to come running in. It is hard though!

If you are anything like me, you will probably read this and think that there is no way you could do this... or that it really won't work. That's EXACTLY what I thought. I thought people were very cruel when they said to let them cry. So I put it off as long as I could. I went back and forth so many times! I also thought it was nuts that you were supposed to put them to bed EARLIER if they woke up in the night, etc. It doesn't make sense, but it worked for us. And we have had tons of sleeping issues. The schedule is not perfect yet, but life is SO much better with a consistent bed time and no middle-of the night screaming for hours. Good luck! I hope this helps.

Oh! And we use Lavendar Everything! Even lavendar plug ins...soap, lotion, incense, etc. It's supposed to be very relaxing.

I think this is a phase. I had a hard time with my daughter at that age too. You have to be strong and not bring him in bed with you. Everytime you do that it will set you back further. I just want to say it is really hard to let them cry it out. But this is what I had to do. There is a point where there is nothing wrong, they are just used to you coming in a rescuing them (because of teeth, fever, etc.) I would go in and lay my daughter down 3 times, after the third time I would not go back in. It takes about a week to get back in a good sleeping pattern but it does get better. Also, just a little note. We got a music box with lights which display on the ceiling. It really seems to help them when they are trying to fall asleep after a wake up. You may want to try that. It is a playschool one we got (blue with 3-4 stars on the front which you push to play the music and display lights) you may want to try that. Otherwise he will get the point of sleeping though the night again it is just a phase. (I think). Good Luck!
J.

One thing I've noticed with my son is that he eats a ton! I have to make sure he has eaten a lot in the late afternoon and evening and well hydrated for him to sleep through the night. Especially on these hot days, he could be waking up thirsty. There's nothing wrong with giving him a little bottle of water or something. If he's teething or there's pain, then tylenol helps them go back to sleep, too, but if it's every night, it could be something else. Sometimes, you can even leave a bottle of water in bed with them. You may have to get him used to it, however. I will put just an ounce of apple juice to 4 ounces of water during the day, but you might not want to do this at night because of the sugar, although I have been known to do it once or twice . . . whatever works! You need your sleep!

There are other ways to get your baby to sleep besides "letting" him cry it out. I think you're being incredibly sensitive to what your little guy needs from you. :)

My oldest had a really tough time teething and I used to nurse him to sleep. He also went through a phase of waking up in the night and just hanging out there, awake. I ended up making a comfy spot there in his room for myself and I'd just go into his room and lie down (not even talk to him). My presence seemed to calm him down even if I wasn't interacting with him. Sometimes I fell asleep there and sometimes I went back to bed... but I didn't have to be awake if I was tired. And it was just a phase.

If you want, you could try the Sleep Lady Shuffle (www.sleeplady.com). Basically, you stay in the room with your son while he falls asleep. Every couple of nights you move farther away (not more than 3 nights in one spot or they become habituated to it) until you're out the door. And if he gets really upset it's okay to pick him up or hug him... just try to keep it brief. The only downside to using this technique in the middle of the night is that it's exhausting to have to stay awake then to do it. The upside is that you probably would only have to do it for a week or two.

Best of luck!

personally, i think you're doing great. hang in there and don't give up. I wouldn't comfort him when he wakes up in the middle of the night. you might also want to talk to your doctor to make sure there's no sign of any problem if you think there might be more than just a bad sleeper.

the one thing that comes to mind for me is...you said he has had a few ear infections...well my daughter has had 2 sets of tubes in her ears before she was 2 yrs old. the ear infections didnt always flare up to where she was miserable but it made her sleep difficult. you should see if he still has ear infections and see what your doctor says about them. the first set of tubes didnt work very well, but the second set and the adnoid removal helped a lot and now she sleeps great. hope this helps!!

C.

If he isn't sick, you have to suck it up and let him cry it out with night wakings. He is obviously well adjusted to falling asleep and all kids wake a time or two at night, the difference is he is programmed to you getting him. Now you have to unprogram him. It sucks, but each night it will get better and you are helping him as well as getting sleep yourself. Do not nurse him at night at all, he is past the year mark and will start depending on that for a soother.
Good luck, hang tough. I know it is hard as when they are sick they get special treatment as we all do for our kids, now he is feeling better just let him cry it out, it won't last long. Also considering tubes in his ears for the chronic ear infections. They bounce right back and my son had ear infections a lot as the fluid got trapped in his ear canal. He was up and eating an omelet an hour after surgery. He hasn't had another ear infections since!

Hey L.,

I feel your pain! I don't know if you've tried all this already, but I was having trouble with my 9 mo. old son, and my pediatrician recommeded this, and he has literally slept through the night since we've been doing it.

Babies are so used to their mothers' comforting voice, touch, breast, etc. to fall asleep, and every baby wakes numerous times throughout the night. So what we need is for them to learn to soothe themselves to sleep at all times. My doctor said that when he wakes in the middle of the night, he will need your soothing...my son would protest everything aside from nursing back to sleep and he would end up in bed with me so that I didn't have to stay out of bed forever when I was so exhaustedly tired. And you should go to him after a couple minutes in the middle of the night.

So, the point is to nurse them before bed, WAKE THEM UP GENTLY, and let them cry it out until asleep. My doctor said that it's not unheard of for this to last for 3 hours. The longest it took my son was 30 minutes and I understand that it is heartwrenching to have to let them cry like this. I do think that if he is teething, sick or in pain that you shouldn't let him cry. But as soon as he's better kick in the routine again and start back at the beginning of checking in every 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and then 15 minutes until he is asleep. The next time wait 10-15 minutes before going in and leave quickly.

Once he is comfortable going to sleep in the dark by himself, then he will self-soothe during the night as well, and won't cry for you any more. Until then, he will need your soothing though. We also use a fan for some white noise. You should also try homeopathic teething tablets. These are made by Hylands, who provide tons of homeopathic baby remedies, but the teething tablets are very widely used. They have Chamomilla 10X or something of that dosage, which help with inflammation, pain, and restlessness. They make remedies for sleep, fussiness, etc.

Good luck to you!

Hi, I am the mom of a 2 year old who did not have the ear infection problem, but the rest of it sounds similar. The doctor's office has told me that kids go through sleep phases. One of the nurses even told me that kids sometimes "forget" how to sleep around 8 mos. and 15 mos. Both times they recommended the Ferber method, which is hard to listen to, but it works. Also, I know sometimes we can't see a new tooth coming in, but under the gums it can be pretty painful. If we thought this was the case, we usually gave my son some Motrin. (Motrin lasts 8 hours-longer than anything else out there and give with food so you don't upset tummy.) We don't like to give a lot of medicines, but it seemed to help.
Lastly, my son went through a phase of waking up every night from 2 to 4 and playing in his crib and we made the mistake of not doing anything about it because he was happy. Well, this went on for long enough that it actually changed his sleep schedule. Maybe that is what has happened with your little guy. We made a lot of mistakes getting him back on track but eventually we started waking him up at a set time in the morning and not letting his afternoon nap go on to long so he was really tired at night and then when he cried, we didn't even do the Ferber method, we completely ignored him.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
Just remember, this phase shall to pass.

I am no help in the sleep department as I am in the same boat as you. My son cried so hard last night that he's hoarse today. I do have a suggestion about the ear infections. A friend of mine told me that sometimes during birth a baby's spine will sort of misalign, setting their sinus passage in a line to drain into their ears. She has heard that a chiropractic adjustment could be the ticket rather than tubes. Also, the highlands homeopathics for teething seem to work well.
Good luck and I hope you all get sleep soon!

Hi L.,

What really worked for us was going in (usually my husband for the same reasons you stated above) and saying "It's not time to get up yet". After about two weeks of that he now sleeps till 7:00 am most days. He is 15 mo. has been in and out of our bed since birth, and really never got the hang of sleeping in his bed all night until about 2 months ago...now we sleep peacfully most nights, and when he wakes before our time, we simply go back in and say "It's not time yet"...it even works for me now too. Good Luck,
J.