I NEED My Daughter to Sleep in Her Own Bed All Night!!!

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I went through this too. I took my daughter back to her bed and stayed until she fell asleep. It's hell for about a week but they get the idea.

I agree completely with Melissa.

The only thing left out was to have a talk with her before bedtime. Tell her that Mommy and Daddy have decided that she needs to sleep in her own rom from tonight on. And really explain it to her. Everyone needs their sleep, Daddy is tired at work, etc. SO set the expectation and then when she comes in - walk her directly out. Remind her to say in her bed. That she cannot come back into your room.

It will take aday or two but will be worth it for all involved. Good luck!!

When I was a child like yours, I did that.
I had my own room.
I would, in the middle of the night... creep down our long dark scary hallway... to go to my parent's room, and squeeze in between them to sleep.
They let me. It was no big deal to them.
It was a phase. They knew that.
I grew out of it.
I simply missed them and was scared in my room all by myself.
This is, one of my most cherished memories of my childhood, of my parents.
How a child goes to bed at night, will be a fond or hated memory, for a child.
Kids at this age, developmentally, do get 'fears' of the dark and night time.

For us, we have a floor futon in our room. Our kids can go there if need be or if they are sick. Its fine with us. No biggie.
They are young for now, and one day they won't even want you to hug them.

Yup, the other Mama's have got it: consistency no matter how difficult is the key to this one. The minute she walks in your room, before she has time to even climb onto your bed take her directly back to her own room. No matter what. Every single time. Without fail. It'll suck for a few nights, but it's guaranteed to work.

She's five - she's more than capable of being told "no" to sleeping in your room.If you have no reason to believe there's anything about her or her room that should get in the way of a good night's sleep (you've tried nightlight, hall light, etc.) you just need to be consistent in making her remain in her room. Explain to her beforehand the new rules (she stays in her bed until morning when you get her or a certain time) and you can even try a sticker chart with rewards for this (every night she stays in bed on her own without reminders she gets a sticker and 5 stickers equals a prize such as picking out movie to watch, choosing dinner, fun outing, etc.)But when she comes to you at night, you tell her "no, you need to sleep in your bed" and physically place her back there. You should only say this the one time because if you repeats yourself, explain why, etc. you are only giving the habit attention and it will continue. Say it once and place her back in bed as many times as it takes.

I had problems with both my younger kids after my divorce. The only thing that worked was locking them out. They were five and seven. If they needed me they knocked but when unable to come up with a good excuse to wake me up, obviously saying I was trying to sneak in wasn't going to work, they gave up. Took about a week and they are very strong willed children.

When they tried to sneak it made enough noise for me to fire off go back to bed while they were still closer to their bed than mine. :)

put her in her room and tell her (at 5 she is old enough to understand) that you will be putting a gate across her room if she comes out for anything other than to go to the bathroom. leave the hall light on all night don't turn it off. and tell her to stay in her room. get a chart and figure out something she really really wants and give a sticker or star for each night she stays in her room. when she gets "x" amount of stars she gets the prize.

I have 2 solutions

1) leave the hallway light on all night

2) allow her to make a bed at the foot of yours and have her start and end her night there.

We did a sticker chart with our daughter and, although it took some time, it did eventually work. That was last year. Since school started, she started coming in with us again. I'm going to have to do the chart with her again.

That said, she doesn't interrupt our sleep, so I'm not as motivated as you to encourage her to stop doing it. I think you should let her sleep on the floor, talk to her about it, how it's hard for you guys to sleep, and set up a cot area for her to come to when she wakes up. This would be a good lesson in compromise for her. I promise, she WILL eventually stop doing it, I often remind myself that when they are 15 they won't be "doing <insert pre-adolescent behavior here> any more."

My daughter is 6 and does this and it has been over a year! Unfortunately, you will have to resort to tough love. That's what we've had to do. We put her to bed and she gets angry but we hold our ground. We leave lights on, white noise maker or fan....read. Somehow she still manages to sneak into our bed. If it is after 3 a.m. I let it go. Anytime before then my DH puts her right back into bed. I hear ya!! If anyone else has an easier solution I am all ears as well.

It will take some patience and determination on your part but I think what you'll have to is when she comes in at the 1-3am mark, you turn her around and take her back to her room. Stay with her till she falls back to sleep, bring a pillow for yourself if it takes awhile and you end up sleeping on her floor. If you feel like leaving after she falls asleep and she comes back to your room, do the same thing, take her back to her room and stay with her. I'd also see if you can find a story online about sleeping in her own bed. Another mamapedia user may have a book suggestion. GL!

Try to get her more ready for a good night's sleep. A night bath, no eating late, warm milk and a good bedtime story. She is not tired enough to sleep thru the night. She may need more physical activity in the daytime.
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Hi,

I had the same problem with my daughter, and here's how I solved it: I had a stuffed animal that I made a big deal out of. I let her know that it was mine and I loved it, and I couldn't imagine giving it up. Then I made a deal with her. I'd let her "borrow" it if she'd stay in her bed. I made it clear that it felt like a part of me, so she'd feel like she was sleeping with a part of me too. If she felt scared or lonely, she could hold my stuffed dog close to her. It worked!

Fast forward - she's now 15 and STILL sleeps with Pepper the stuffed dog every night - and it's STILL mine!!! LOL!

For some reason, as I read your post, I had a picture of you buying a large teddy bear for yourself, and make a big deal out of it, saying how much you love it and making sure she knows it belongs to mama, maybe even sleep with it for a week or so. And be sure to give it a name. Then (reluctantly) let her have it as a substitute for you. It would smell like you and would give her something to snuggle with, too!

Good luck!

The only thing that works for us is some kind of small present or treat in the morning if our (four and a half year old) daughter stays in her bed all night long. I was desperate - exhausted all the time. I think every kid responds to something different - my son responded well to being consistently (and silently) walked back to bed when he woke up. My daughter did not. She's far more motivated by (I hate to say it) bribes than he is, and for her a small reward if she sleeps through the night really works. I usually only have to give her treats for a few days to a week and then she forgets about them and is in the habit of sleeping through the night. Sometimes she'll get sick or something else breaks her routine, and I have to reinstate the treats for a few nights to get her back on track, but after a night or two they generally work, without fail. A lot of this will be finding out what your child responds to. GOOD LUCK.

Find a way to encourage her to stay in bed all night and give her some special treat each morning after she does it. My daughter had three of the little cocktail sticks that look like swans. She put them in a container on the top shelf of her girls' closet. The rule was that each time one of the girls got out of bed, or called for Mom or Dad (without a legitimate reason, of course), one swan would be removed. If all three swans were gone by the next morning, the girls didn't get their treat. This was done in a manner in which both girls had to cooperate or both lost the treat. I'm sure you can figure out something that could make this work with just the one child, too. Her girls were proud when they got up of a morning and had three swans left and got their treat, to the point that if I happened to call or go by that day, the first thing I would hear from them was "Three swans!!!!".

Put a gate in her doorway (we did this because my daughter did the same thing). She'll probably climb over it (my daughter does this if she doesn't get a response the first time she calls "mom" when standing by it). I go into her room and lay with her for a few minutes (sometimes more if I fall asleep). I do this every time she wakes up (I used to give in randomly but I realize that is more confusing for her. She's going to keep trying to sleep with us because we let her occasionally). The new rule is she has to sleep in her bed all night but if she wakes up and mommy (during the week) or daddy (on the weekends) is already out of bed, she can come in and snuggle and sleep with us (since it's for no more than an hour). This has worked the past few nights. I do wake up when she does - so anywhere from 1-4x a night but it's brief and I've learned to fall back asleep quickly. I figure eventually she'll wake up and go back to sleep on her own. Well I hope that will happen!