My doughter is nine years old, in third grade and she is really struggling in school.I don't know how to get her motivated to study or to do better in math and reading she already fail 2nd grade. Both the teachers she had told me she is very good behave in class and that she is very smart. But her problem is she does not put in the effort. At home she is very lazy I read with her,I help her with home work and to put to read on her own just like the teacher tell me to do but it just doent work. I feel bad sometimes becouse I think I pressure her a lot and I know that just makes it worst. I tried taking thing from her but she doent care for anything I even Keep her from going outside to play .that is what she loves more and still don't work please help....
Set her up an appointment with a child psychologist.
There could be many things wrong with her.
Depression, Dyslexia , ADHD
She sounds a lot like me when I was a kid, I have ADHD -Inattentive type and depression ( which is a symptom of ADHD)
NONSENSE!
Children are not lazy, and if she could learn, she would. They did not teach her the way that she needed to be instructed, and they did not identify what was going wrong. That was the schools responsiblity.
She should never have been held back, she should have been evaluated to find out why she could not learn the way they were teaching. You have been taken advantage of. They held her back to keep her from being in third grade and to delay her from showing her educational need by failing the OAT's, which would have been the proof you needed over a year ago to show educational need and get her evaluated on into services that would help her make progress. This is so incredibly common.
Write to the Dublin school districts special education director and request a special education evaluation because you suspect she has a learning disablity and there is an educational need for services. Further, tell them that in class interventions have been unsucessful and she has been held back one school year without sucess. Tell them that you expect for this evaluation to be completed within 30 school days of recipt of your consent to evaluate. You further expect to be contacted and to have a meeting to give your consent for evaluation within 10 school days of the receipt of your letter.
When you meet, you want a full IQ test, and testing in all areas of academic acheivement, including full reading assessment, and all the subtest areas of writing and written expression. You want her speech and langague evaluated, you want an occupational therapy assessment, including visual motor and visual processing, and you want full curiculum based testing with complete grade levels in every area, including reading, spelling, writing, math, science and social studies.
Tell them you want to begin a reading intervention program now, because RTI, response to intervention, does not require that she qualify for services first, and you would like the intervention to begin for reading imedeately. You should request an orton gillingham based, alphabet phonics program. Every child can learn to read this way, so it makes no difference what her disablity is. She has experienced reading failure, and you want intervention now.
This is not your daughters fault. Quit blaming her now. Read "The Myth of Lazyness" by Dr. Mel Lavine. You will be astounded by the issues that can cause a child to be just like yours, and none of them are lazy.
Go to www.wrightslaw.com and start learning about advocacy. I can help you get pointed in the right direction. I think that Dublin has a parent mentor on staff, I will see if I can locate the name for you.
Write these letters today, fax or email them tomorrow, and ask for confirmation that they are recieved.
Next, find a Neuropsycholgist to do a private evaluation for you. We have used Colvin (he is out North on 315, just past 270) he got us in once very quickly. This will not be inexpensive, but you need to have your own evaluation to keep this school district honest, they have not done the right thing so far. Do this tomorow too. It will be worth it to you.
Smart kids with processing issues look just like this, and these teachers have seen it before. Shameful.
M.
Maybe your daughter is bored or confused. She can be very smart but if she does not understand what the teacher wants then it is hard to deliver. I am having trouble imagining that a child would fail 2nd grade and then be too lazy to do well in 3rd grade. She would want to be with her peers. If she understood how, I think she would work. What you call lazy I suspect is a cover up. She doesn't want to look stupid, so she acts as if she doesn't care. I think maybe she cares very much, but is afraid of not being good enough.
I would stop pressuring her and strongly suggest you get her tested. At the very least get her a tutor. But please don't take everything away. Help her to figure out how she can succeed.
There are several things that can make a child not apply themselves. It can be hard to focus when there are barriers or disabilities that have not been recognized.
Often a tutor can assist in bringing them up to speed and the one on one attention is sometimes all they need. See if the school has any programs for tutoring.
I hear great success with Sylvan and Kumon. I found their books in the bookstore and on Amazon. I purchased a few for my daughter who is only four, but just to be sure she is on target. I looked through them all and both Sylvan and Kumon books have large prints and colorful pages. As well, the front cover provides some great tips for assisting your child. One that comes to mind is study for a set time and stop while your child still wants to do more. I do this and it leaves my daughter begging to do one more page.
Other than that, perhaps she needs to be evaluated for a disability. Have you tried to talk to her and ask what she is going through and why she doesn't try?
My daughter used to show she could do good work, but would sometimes just make a mess and scribble. She had a lazy eye and need eye glasses and eye therapy. She turned out to be a great student.
Best of luck. I know it can be difficult, but don't give up.
I can only hope that this is not a case of "I must be dumb so why even try", stemming from being held back. Maybe other teaching modalities need to be applied. Sometimes, educators use a cookie cuter method of teaching. Instead of adapting to the child, they expect the child to adapt to them.
She may not be lazy instead she may be scared of trying and failing. Not sure what your methods are but seems that she is not responding to your way either and this can get frustrating. Most kids including mine do not want to hear it from their parents. Maybe a teenager would be a better instructor. have you looked into kumon?
Wow, this little child is getting a lot of negative messages about education. If you think you've been applying too much pressure, then you probably are. If she's bright but not trying, she could be bored from lack of challenge, or have the female version of ADHD (see if you recognize your daughter here: http://www.babycenter.com/0_types-of-adhd-in-girls_67350.bc).
A third grader really shouldn't have much homework. If she's supposed to work more than maybe 20 minutes a day at home, the school's expectations may be unreasonable. I hope parents of elementary children who bring home an hour or more of homework every day will listen to a talk by educator Alfie Kohn at this link: http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/hm.htm
At any rate, you need some tools to help you and your daughter handle this more effectively now. There's a fantastic book that helps parents (and kids!) work through exactly these kinds of struggles, plus the many more that most families will experience during the child-rearing years. Check out the book Faber and Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. The authors have years of experience teaching parents how to help their children identify and communicate their feelings and needs, and participate in finding their own solutions in a clear, understandable, and respectful way.
By the way, I was evaluated in third grade because I was nearly flunking out and could not apply myself in class. Turned out I needed some advanced classes to remind me how exciting learning can be.
Why don't you stop pressuring her about her work. Use the reward system. Find something she really wants, and tell her she can have it if she is able to meet certain expectations. Then back off. All your pressure is causing her to resist.
I would check her vision... maybe she needs glasses?
How is her hearing?
Check that too.
Maybe even Dyslexia....
Do not scold her... but find the root of the 'problem.'
talk with her...
ask her things about school... and why she does not apply herself...
Maybe, is she depressed?
Some kids are.
Does she have friends?
really talk with her... with her teachers.. and see if there is some thing that is not jiving with her... or is she just bored?
Some bright kids get bored in school.... for example.
don't just scold/punish... until you know what is going on with her.
All the best,
Susan
I think a tutor will help in this situation. Talk with the school & see if they can recommend someone that will match well with your daughter's personality. She's smart -- she can do it!
Ask the school to evaluate her, they have to respond to your request within 30 days. Talk to her teacher about how to word the request and then put it in writing and send it to the teacher. I have two children with reading disabilities, and it sounds like she might need some extra services. They have been helped so much after being evaluated.
I am just going to put it out there....if your daughter is so smart, then why did she fail 2nd grade? Kids are not retained due to a lack of effort. They are retained due to a lack of learned concepts. Most importantly is to get your daughter's school and teachers involved. Together, you need to develop a plan of action. What are the problems/issues/concerns and want can we do about it. Parenting can be difficult and children do not like to always listen to their parents. You need some guidance and direction and an intervention team at school should be able to provide that for you.
Tutoring is a good tool. If you think she is under a lot of pressure have her talk to a counselor. I found out 2 of my kids have anxiety issues. SO anxiety may be a culprit. By taking to a counselor they can help you identify if this is an issues and how to help her cope with it.
Make it FUN. Make SURE you do some puzzles, etc that require reading, comprehension, etc every night in addition to homework. I'm a former teacher and you ALSO need to make sure you are continuing to show an interest in reading, math, etc. NO COMMENTS like, "I was never good at math," etc. That sends a negative message that they weren't so I don't need to be either.
In addition, use EVERY opportunity to incorporate math and reading into everyday tasks. Reading labels at the grocery store, reading and preparing a recipe, reading road signs, etc. She has to understand that there is a NEED in order to survive and thrive in everyday life. If you tend to always do it and/or not involve her in reading a recipe for you, etc., then she won't have the opportunity to learn outside of the classroom.
Ask her to tell you the time, rather than look at the clock. If she struggles, make time to work on that. DO NOT rely on only digital clocks. Talk about time in EVERY concept, night time, breakfast time, seasons, time management, etc. There is ALWAYS something new to learn and help her to understand that the more you understand and apply the better equipped you'll be to thrive, not just survive, in life. We have these conversations ALL THE TIME! It is CLEAR that it DOES make a difference.
Ditto what SH said...I agree
