I Need HELP with My Chronically Overtired Baby!

Dear L.,

Look for a sleep consultant that can help you one on one. My pediatrician happens to be one Dr. Lori Gara-Matthews, she is also a mother of 4. Her number is ###-###-####.

I also used an amazing sleep consultant through JFCS, you pay if you can. It's over the phone and she was very understanding about what we were willing to do and what we didn't want to do:
http://www.jfcsboston.org/fcs/sleep_consultations.cfm

One of their sleep consultants leads the new moms groups at the Watertown Family Network, Wednesday mornings at 9 to 10:30 am in Watertown. ###-###-####.

The Ferber method (NEW edition) worked for us but it is not for everyone.

Also, I highly recommend if someone to watch your daughter while you get some rest so you can think about what to do next... I couldn't think straight after a couple of nights without sleep.

I hope this helps,
A.

Did you try turning off the light, putting her on her tummy and patting her bum? Even if she cries, keep doing it atleast until you can stand the crying. Either that or just put her in her crib with the lights off and some lullabies playing. Make sure the room is dark enough. Close the shades if you have to.

Oh, my, my heart goes out to you, coming back exhausted from vacation. What commitment, taking a week off work for the sake of this!

My first reaction is to do whatever works to get her to sleep for the first couple of days, even if it's not what you'll do over the whole week and not what you want to train her to do, just to get over the hump of exhaustion. Driving around in the car is a really popular one. Someone else I know found that the sound of the vacuum cleaner (not too close!) was like a big white noise machine and worked wonders for a child who wouldn't sleep otherwise. So as not to burn out the vacuum cleaner running it for hours a day (!), she made a tape recording of the sound and played that. Last thing: if nothing is working, at least find a neighbor or someone to take her so YOU can get in a nap during these days you're taking off; it doesn't do any good to have you exhausted along with her, and it may make it harder for you to be resourceful and responsive. Good luck!!

I'm sorry, I haven't had to deal with this yet, but may I suggest the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" It's by a doc who's last name is something like Weismann. Can't remember for sure right now. His book was very helpful in getting my son to sleep. I don't follow his rules religiously, but pick and choose what worked for my family. Hope you both get some sleep soon!

What do you currently do to get her to sleep? When my Sophie was an infant - how I got her to sleep changed several times.
I rocked her, sang to her, shut off all lights (even night lights), cradle swings, drove around the neighborhood (occasionly still do this), etc.

Could something be bothering her... her ears? her belly? could the altitude of where you visited - could it have affected her? DId you take a plane... etc? I think there are so many possibilities.

The main thing I can offer as advice is to be consistent and it should fall back into place. Be patient (I know your exhausted but your frustration will upset her even more and she will fight going to sleep just because of that)Stay calm. Be loving and affectionate. Sing in a soothing voice. Carry her around the house. Go for a walk using a baby carrier (maybe the fresh are and the closeness of your body will help her to relax and fall asleep).

Good Luck.

Hi L.,
I hear you -- vacations tend to mess up the kids sleep habits. I heartily second the post below about the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book. It's by Dr. Marc Weissman, and even if you have to have it overnighted to you, it will be well worth it. As a mom of 6, I can't tell you how many times it has helped me. He takes you through step by step how to train (or retrain) your child, at whatever age and stage they are at. Basically, this is his approach: Develop a comforting habit/ritual for soothing (ie. rocking, nursing, a "blankie," and use it consistently before sleep time.) Then, especially if your daughter didn''t sleep well at night, put her down for her first nap earlier than you normally would, to catch her before she's too exhausted. If she wakes up at 6, put her down for a nap around 8am, or even 7:30. Leave her completely alone to learn to fall asleep. Leave her for an hour, whether she sleeps or not. If she's still crying by then, go and soothe her. If she seems completely awake, get her up. If she's exhausted from crying, and falling asleep in your arms, you can put her back down and try again. If the nap is successful (an hour or two, but not much longer or it messes with the second nap) put her down for second nap 2-3 hours after the first ends -- same process. If the first nap wasn't successful, the second nap will need to happen earlier, and the if the second nap isn't successful, you can try a third in the late afternoon, just making sure it doesn't last longer than 1-1 1/2 hours, or it will mess up nighttime sleep. Also, earlier bedtimes, as early as 5 or 6 if naps haven't been successful, helps get them back on track. There is no time limit to letting them cry at night -- once they're down, they're down. Otherwise, they learn to cry until your predetermined time limit. The first couple of nights this can be really be difficult, but after that it's always worked for me, with the result of a well-rested child, and mom. The exception of going to them at night is if they still get up for a night feeding, particularly with an earlier bedtime. You would just get them up, feed and change, but maintain silence and darkness so they do not reach full wakefulness. But only respond if you know the baby will be hungry after the interval that has passed. I know this sounds harsh, but you know your baby's needs are being met, and you will be helping her learn to soothe herself to sleep. I always hesitate to tell anyone the process if they don't have the book, because he can explain all this so much better, but I know what it's like to be desperate. Still, I would recommend getting the book, b/c it helps so much to be consistent when you can refer back to it to reassure yourself you're doing it right, and doing the right thing for your child. Good luck. Hang in there.

L.,

You have your work cut out for you! The good news is that since you have taken time off to remedy the situation, you can certainly get it done. Routine, of course, is of ultimate importance. Create a bedtime routine that can easily be duplicated no matter where you are. Choose a bedtime and stick to it. Books are great, even just with pictures. Songs, sung in the same order are also great for establishing sleep routines. When you put her down, do it before she is asleep. Tell her you love her, say goodnight, and walk out of the room. If she cries, painful as it is, you should let her go for about five minutes. If she's not asleep, go in but don't pick her up and hold her. Lay her back down, pat her back just for a moment and then walk out. Increase the time frame to ten minutes. You get the idea. Letting them cry is hard, but trust me, I had to do this with all three of my kids and they still love me and are super affectionate (7yrs, 9yrs, 14yrs). Stick to the routine. Tell anyone else who might put her down to stick to it to the letter. Also, you can use teething tablets (homeopathic) to soothe her mood a bit initially. They are not habit forming.

This routine can be easy or it may take a few nights, but I've never known it not to work in a healthy, normal child.

Best of luck,
S.

We are big fans of the Healthy Sleep Happy Child book. With that said have you checked with your pediatrician? She might be teething or have an ear infection that might be keeping her up.

Also: with feeding my little boy (17 months) when he is over hungry I give him a little of what I call "gateway" food. Basically junk food. Then he becomes more agreeable and will eat the healthy stuff. I wonder if you can do that with your little one with sleep. For example let her sleep in the car, or in your bed, or in your arms just to recover from such sleep deprivation and then work on the old routine.

-S.