I Need Help with Discipline for My 21 Month Old

Hi C.,
I am having this same problem and my son is going to be 17 months tomorrow. He doesn't repsond to anything. His feelings don't get hurt for anything. I will be interested to see what people have to say because I have been wondering the same thing you have.
Have a great day!
A.

C.,
I was wondering if the behavior is aggressive or just regular toddler things. I have learned through parent classes that if you can ingnore the bad behavior and focus on the good behavior (ie, he picked his toys, or he was playing quietly ets) you will see the bad behavior disappear. What i mean is if you see him being good then you praise that behavior, and if he is acting badly try to ingore it, that is as long it isnt dangerous or aggressive. When i mean dont pay attention to him and his behavior it means no eye contact, (i keep watch from the cornner of my eye but i dont let my kids see me) no talking to him etc. Once he realizes that you are not paying attention he will stop. It wont happen overnight but it does work, take it from someone who has tryed it and succeed. Another thing you mentioned is time outs. When you put him in time out it is the same rule as before. You dont pay attention to, or talk to him. If he kicks and screams dont pay any attention to it, and when he has been quiet for 2 minutes then you let him out and then the time out is finished. Oh i almost forgot to mention for the time outs dont make them in his room, have a desingated spot for time outs, that way he dont associate time outs with his room. Could you email me and let me know what you think. IT WONT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT BUT I CAN AND WILL HAPPEN.

C.,
I was going thru the same thing with my son and my mother sent me a copy of the book "The One Minute Mother". I devoured it in one night and have used variations of the three techniques and they have worked better than anything else we have tried. The first rule is my favorite because it is the easiest for me: Applaud the good behavior and your child will be more likely to repeat it (60 seconds of praise). Keep the reprimand (when necessary) down to 60 seconds or less and focus on the activity being hurtful, etc and the child being good so doesn't need to do the action. I can't remember everything but these two rules have brought a tiny bit of peace into our chaotic two-year-old world! Good luck! PS I would recommend checking the book out or even buying it -

C.,
There are so many strategies, I would love to talk to you about them if you don't mind. Not one thing works all the time, and time out for a little one his age isn't effective. Strong willed children are very challenging as it is- my son is now 11, and he was an incredibly strong toddler. But we made it through, and I've worked with many families and children who are tough. Email me offline and I can send you my number, and you can call if you'd like, and we can talk about each incident and what you can do for each one. OR, we can do it over email if you'd like as well....I just think you really need a strategy for each type of rule you're trying to enforce. Good luck!

Hi
He's testing your limits so stick with the time outs. Be very matter of fact about them. Set a timer for number of minutes to his age to take that responsiblity off of you. Keep it up and he will learn. He is strong willed and that is not a bad thing unless you let him outwill you.

Hi C.,

My name is L.. I have a 11 year old, a 8 year old and a 3 1/2 year old. I also babysit 4 children ranging in ages 7 months - 10 years old.
It sounds to me like your son is testing the limits. And you are doing exactly what I would do. Just don't give in or give up. Because once you do he'll know what to do in order to get what he wants.
I usually count to 3 and if I get to 3 I also give a little pop on the bottom. I also do time outs(with the older kids).I do 1 minute for every year old they are. But if they do the exact same thing as soon as they are out of time out they go in twice as long. And if that doesn't help I usually put them in bed for awhile and then go in ans talk to them. I understand that your son is to young to tell you why he's doing the things he does but he will be soon enough.

-L.

Hi, I don't know that I have much advice for you, but I have a daughter born Feb. 05, and another daughter born June 06, I actually have another daughter who is 12 years. Anyways, I am going through the same situation with my 21 month old.I read some of the advice you were given, and I hope some of it will work for myself. It's nice to know that we all kind of go through this, and it's great to hear ideas from other moms. Good luck!!! I'm always looking to meet other moms, so if you ever want to meet up for a play date e-mail me. ____@____.com