I Need Help! I Can't Stop the Whinning!

Updated on June 12, 2007
E.K. asks from Mentor, OH
8 answers

Hi, I have a two year old daughter and she just recently started this whinning bit from the minute she opens her eyes till the minute she closes them...I have no idea what to do. I tell her I can't understand her when she whines but she still does it...Help!

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M.

answers from Cleveland on

My friend had the exact same problem only her son was 4 which made it even more frustrating (he spoke very well and really only whined for attention). He would whine about EVERYTHING. She completely ignored it. She went out and bought some ear plugs (you can usually find them in a sporting goods store) and would put those in when he started to whine. That way she wouldn't get so irritated if it took him a while to stop. It took her about two weeks to have him get over it, but even now when he starts to whine, she gets out the ear plugs and he immediately stops and uses his words for what he wants. If they figure out a way to get whatever they want, they'll use it to their best advantage. Hope I could be of some help! Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

Hello E.. When my now 8 y/o started it she was about 5 y/o. I put her to bed and told her if she was going to behaive like a baby she was going to bed like one. I told her when she was ready to Speak to me and not whin she could come out. I hope you find something that works for your little one, best of luck!

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E.A.

answers from Toledo on

I agree with Kari's advice - IGNORE the behavior. This applies unless you are out in public. Then, you tell her that unless she stops whining, you will take her back to the car and go home. I have left my full grocery cart in the middle of the aisle before to take my son home - I've done this twice, and he gets it! He's only 19 months, but he knows that if I tell him to quit whining (or throwing a fit, or whatever) or we're going home, he stops! Just be consistent with whatever you chose - that's the key! They just love pushing the limits to see if you really mean what you say. Good luck!
E.

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W.S.

answers from Cleveland on

My 2 yo was the same way, and you've gotten some good advice already. It may not work immediately, but you have to continue and be consistent with whatever you decide. The key is she must NEVER EVER be rewarded for the whining. I realized that there were times I was distracted and I would respond without thinking, so I had to really make an effort to never respond. It's wierd, but it's true that a periodic or intermittent reward is more powerful than a consistent reward--it like makes them hope that if they could just hold out a little longer then it will work again!
It sounds to me like you are handling it correctly, and you just need to stick with it and make sure you're consistent. I always thought "gee it's easier to train a dog than a child!" because a dog would learn so much faster ha ha. Seriously, it does take awhile especially if they have ever "won" by that behaviour.
Hang in there, it will get better and you sound like a great Mommy!
Blessings,
Lynn

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K.M.

answers from Columbus on

I hope it's "just a phase" for your sake! Some kids do it, others don't.

My sister's younger son whines a lot and when he starts it, she tells him she can't understand him, but also tells him to "use his words." For some reason that seems to help!

Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from Rochester on

My daughter (20 months) just started this too. I told her "Stop whining. Tell me what you want. Use your words." and she looked at me in shock! She quit whining, though! Sometimes my daughter just whines for no apparent reason lately. I tell her to stop whining, and if she doesn't, I ignore her until she either uses her words or sign language. I won't tolerate whining, and she'll learn that it won't get her what she wants. Just keep reinforcing it with her, and give her positive reinforcement when she doesn't whine ("Thank you for using your words and not whining. Now Mommy can understand you.") Good luck!

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

If it's anything like what my now 6 year old son did and sometimes still does not only can you not understand them but it is terribly annoying and you constantly find yourself in a battle of trying to figure out what they want and fighting because they won't tell you clearly. my best advice, and the only thing that worked for me and also one of the hardest things you'll ever do in your life, IGNORE IT. tell her when she is willing to talk you will listen and walk away, if she comes at you whinning do it again, it works and it works fast once they see that they aren't going to get what they want without asking properly. good luck.

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C.J.

answers from Youngstown on

my son is 4 and he is a whinner too. I am firm with him when he starts that, and I tell him " stop whining, and talk to me".. it usually works. With age he is starting to improve. I think its just a stage they must out grow, and as long you they know you will not entertain it, they will stop. My daughter has never whined in her life, so when he came along and he was whiner, it was trying to my patience. But that is why god makes them so cute, so that when they stress you out, you look at that beautiful face, take a deep breath and work through it.

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