I Need Help!!! - Omaha,NE

How are his communication skills? Does he verbalize well? I'm guessing that his screaming is his way of communicating, and if it's worked thus far...he probably doesn't see a need to change it.

I agree with talking very quietly when he yells. It's common physics... he'll have to quiet to hear what you are saying.

I also agree that it's a phase. Thankfully, my daughter didn't do this for more than a few weeks when she was younger than 1, but she's been very verbal since then, so I've attributed that to her lack of meltdowns.

And most of all, just take a breathe and try to do what ever calms you when this happens. It doesn't help you, or him when his screaming effects you. I always remember "this too shall pass" ((hugs))

D.,

Oh, I know how the screaming can just crawl under your skin and drive you nuts! My second child, a girl, just turned one and recently discovered her screaming voice. She has always been loud. Man! What I do know is that my little one is not loud so as to get extra attention- she gets tons of attention. She does it because she likes it. It sounds like your son does it as a way to express himself, no matter what the emotion.

I have a friend who dealt with screaming in the car like this: she stopped the car, told the child that the car would not go until the screaming/shouting stopped. They were stationary for almost 2 hours, but it NEVER happened again.

My Love and Logic book suggests something similar for car scenarios, changing it somewhat by stopping the car and getting out- you the adult (the child stays in, safely strapped in the carseat). Act like you're having the time of your life reading a book, smelling flowers, whatever. But send the message that when the yells start, you get out and then he misses out on something fun. This is also done with a very pleasant cue, like, "oh dear" or "uh oh" just prior to your action. It's without any lecture, very little explanation, and no angry venting.

Could that type of strategy be transfered to your situation at home? Maybe you could get some headphones, and when he starts screaming, smile at him and say, "I love you and I want to hear what you say. I also love my ears too much to let you hurt them. I'll take these off when they stop hurting!" Then completely ignore him while they're on, continuing with your activities like you're having a terrific time, all the while ignoring all requests, pleas, etc.

And of course, praise him when he's using a pleasant voice!

Good luck to you!

J.

D.,

Is you son talking? If not, that could be the problem. My son wasn't talking at that point so he screamed constantly because he had no other way to communicate. I took him to Nevada Early Intervention ###-###-####) - it is a free service and you can self refer. My son did speech therapy with them for a year (we are currently transitioning him to services with the school district because EI only does birth to age 3). Once we started doing speech therapy and taught him a few signs (America Sign Language) his behavior approved dramatically. Since you say that you are under a lot of stress, he could also be doing it to get your attention. Even young children can sense when mom is unhappy and not have the developmental ability to know why so they get stressed too. Maybe you need to figure out how to improve your situation to help him improve his. Good luck!

T.

Hee, hee! Aren't the terrible twos fantastic! I would suggest talking very quietly when he is screaming. Just speak to him in a low voice. If he can't hear you, he may eventually tone it down. You could try explaininig that it isn't polite to scream and that if he wants something, he needs to use his inside and/or big boy voice.

I can understand your stress level. If you can't find anything wrong from your pediatrician. You could try what I did. I set up two time out places, one is the "big boy" time out, the other is the "baby time out" in his room. My son loved to be called a big boy and get to do big boy stuff that going to the baby time out was something he hated. I left him in there until he stopped screaming and then told him why he went there when he came out, he also had to say sorry. They are so smart and understand so much more than we think and are pushing boundries at that age. I was amazed at how quickly this worked for me. Good luck

I have 2 suggestions for you. First, a friend of mine had a son who screamed a lot too, but she figured out that he screamed when he was pooping - went to the dr and found out he had really bad fissures (ouch). So suggestion #1 is have your dr check him out just to rule anything else out.

#2 - I am a HUGE advocate for teaching infants sign language because they can communicate what they need. Especially at his age, he is probably more frustated that he can't "tell" you what he wants. Go to the library and look for books or DVDs called Signing Time. They are the BEST!! for teaching kids to sign and they keep their attention. If you want to learn more, the gal who started Signing Time will be in LV on 9/17 at 6 Pm at the Rainbow Library Amph.

I hope this helps!! Good luck!!

Hi I am a mom of a 9,5 and 2 year old. When my 2 year old throws fits I make him sit down in time out and not let him get up till hes done or when I say so. Sometimes he will not stay so I hold him and he does not like that cuz I am holding him down while he throws his fits. I have a sticker book and reward him if he gos to time out and sits like he is suppose to. I tell him if he sits and does his timeout when I let him up he can put a sticker in his book. He loves stickers so it works. Good Luck!!!!!

The best thing I have found is to get down to his level, look him in teh eye, and tell him that is not acceptable behavior. Then, you tell him that he cannot be a part of the group with that behavior. Then, put him into a room by himself, and tell him he can come out when he can control himself and speak in an "indoor" voice. if he comes out again screaming (which he will), repeat it, and take him back to the room. It may take a few days of this, but trust me, it will work. The most important thing is to follow through, and do not yell yourself. This will sabotage the correction! Trust me! I have been through it with two screechy little girls! The point of this is 1. You set the expectation. 2. You are calm and display correct behavior. 3. You are not trying to engage in a battle of wills by trying to ge thim to stop, but you are punishing him by not gioving him the attention he wants (by screeming, he gets your attention, whether it is good or bad!) 4. You help him to develop impulse control. Being separated from teh fun is awful to a toddler. (did I mention that the place must be free of toys?) This method works GREAT for bedtime, too. It is soooo hard, b/c you want to take the easy route and give in, but ultimately these bahaviors only get worse if not addressed early.
Hope this helps!

I agree with Sandy. My cousins also have sensory integration and the screaming can be hard on everyone. I have a good dr. that can use muscle testing to find the cause and solution for the problem. I have gone to him for 10 yrs. Though his approach in less known for some, it has benefitted me and my family in a way that took out the guessing. Sometimes we found an emotional issue, sometimes it was chemical or physical. He found that my daughter's parasympathetic and sympathetic systems were out of balance and gave her some gentle homeopathic med to help balance this and some excerises. She had a hard time calming down. I am a medical assistant and nursing assistant and my mom is a nurse. We have used both sides of the spectrum. I find that muscle testing is very helpful. His name is Dr. Whitley ###-###-####. If anything go for a visit for opinion sake. Sometimes our kids have a way of releasing the stress that we are under. I have a 7 yr old girl and 21 mo old boy. I know it can be very difficult. Try to use the resources and support around you.

He'll be ok and so will you, try to find the source of the problem and then it can be addressed appropriately. If he does have sensory issues, telling him his behaivor is inappropriate won't work at his age. He is trying to tell you that things aren't ok in his world and he wants help. You have mothers instinct, trust your feelings and impressions. You know your situation and your Kids!!!

Hahaha! I know exactly how you are feeling. My daughter used to scream her lungs out, especially in restaurants. How embarrassing... By accident I discovered a way to make her stop. I videoed it and when she watched she was so embarrassed that she stopped doing it. Another way to make her stop temporarily was to scream with her, or distract her with some noise louder than hers. But the video made her stop for good.

D.-

I have friends who had a son who constantly shrieked and they discovered he had sensory integration disorder. Have you talked to your pediatrician about having him assessed for some sort of disorder that might need treatment?

Most kids like my son who is 29 months, go through this stage. Have you tried acting like he isn't doing it at all. It really helped with my now 9 year old girl. The worst thing you can do is give in. I did that a couple of times and she just got that much worse. You are not alone. I wish you luck! Just know that it really is just a stage and that with time and just acting like that behavior isn't right, they do stop.

Hmmm..even though it might be tough, I would probably try to ignore the behavior. If you really can't stand it, put him in a room by himself (where he can't hurt himself and you can listen on the monitor) and let him scream to his heart's content. He will probably stop if there is truly no benefit to him screaming. If that doesn't work over a few weeks, I would check with his pediatrician to see if there's a physical problem. He will outgrow this...but if he's getting any kind of reinforcement from you (or anyone else) for the screaming it may not go away soon. Good luck--the day care will help him with structure and distraction--he's probably extra smart and needs lots of stimulation.