I Need Extreme Help with My Toddler /31/2 Years Old 911 - Bronx,NY

I totally understand your frustration as a parent. My son is almost 3 and also bright and high energy, though not with as many behavior issues (he has his defiant moment and tantrums though). I have had lots of training and experience with family counseling and still lose my temper sometimes. It soulds like you are doing your best to get him appropriate services and get yourself the support you need as a parent. I do recommend following through with the evaluation you have planned. In the meantime 2 helpful and readable books on child behavior problems are The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki and Disiplining Your Strong Willed Child (I don't recall the author). The first book is several years old but still excellent and the author is a pediatrician in NYC (the book has the details of where and it might be a place to call for help finding resources). The second book is newer and has many good disipline tips.

Dear V.,

I agree with Kim about having him reevaluated. Intelligence has nothing to do with behavioral issues. I own a Montessori Preschool and have had a few kids evaluated. I do not like to label children and only request evaluations when I feel all other avenues have been exhausted. I do know that early intervention is key and can turn around many children with behavioral issues. I first want to commend you on being so honest about your son. I run into parents in total denial everyday which is a major part of the problem. I have had children who hit themselves, and truly hurt themselves and when I talk to mom I would hear OH" he doesn't do that at home. Without help it would always escalate to hitting teachers, and other children. So you are on the right track. One bad thing about evaluations through the schools is they do not want to classify because they have to pay so FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! The expression the squeaky wheel gets the oil does apply. They will not help many times because it costs them, however it is with taxpayers money so indirectly you are paying. Sorry to ramble but I have seen so many kids fall through the cracks because they have given parents the run around. I have seen parents have to obtain lawyers to get the help their child needs. You have to be your child's voice and get him the help that he needs. I know you are a single mom as I was when my son was young so I feel your pain. But you also sound very strong I am sure you can get the job done. Good luck!! and happy holidays!!

Hi V.,
Good that you had your son in Early Intervention, and that the cognitive/speaking issues are resolved. If he is hyper and aggressive, he still has difficulty with self control which can be helped with more work on communication and in the sensory motor domains. You will need to be firm in teaching him and setting limits but try not to respond aggressively back to him. Definitely no spanking... thats would be you losing control.
3.5 years old is a young child no longer a toddler. He needs a new set of expectations and some better coping tools. You could benefit from professional guidance to learn how to help your son through this phase of development. So like others said, yes get him re=evaluated.
Sincerely,
M. Kassover MS,PT,PCS
Physical Therapist
Board Certified Pediatric Specialist

Take him back to the school to have him re-evaluated for behavioral issues and by a developmental or neurological pediatrician. It's their job to do this. It sounds like he definitely still needs an IEP. Don't let the school get away with this. They will provide the right therapies like ABA "Applied Behavioral Analysis" and also provide you with parent training to learn how to work with him through this. To be honest, he sounds just like my son who has Asperger's... super smart, needing OT, speech, tantrums, wanting his own way, etc. The ABA therapy will help tremendously!! Best of luck and please feel free to message me with any questions. I'm in your shoes right now, and I know just how very frustrating this can be.