Trish:
What time are you putting her to bed? Maybe she is overtired? I would try to not play with her before bed, but read a story in a quiet, dimly lit room. Also, have a bedtime routine and a set bedtime.
We had a lot of trouble with our little girl when she was that age with naps and bedtime. What I found to be very helpful was a strict routine and a strict bedtime. I would start telling her around 7:15 that it was time to get ready for bed (which meant a bath and/or storytime). We would change her diaper, put her pj's on, brush her teeth, read the same story every night, put her same music cd on every night, say the same things and lay her down by 8 pm on the dot. NO LATER.
My husband was very quick to go in and comfort her when she cried so I also instilled the "5 minute rule." If she was crying we had to wait at least 5 minutes until we went in to her. If she was still crying, we would go in lay her back down, pat her back, tell her it was time to go to bed, and leave. On occasion, if she was hysterical, we would hold her for a few minutes to calm her down, then tell her that it was time to go to bed.
I know it is so horrible to hear them cry like that. I also found that telling them what they are going to be doing (for example, "it's almost time for your nap" "it's almost time for bed", etc.) helps a lot. They understand more than you think!
Hang in there! It does get better. I can't tell you how much my husband thanks me now for getting our daughter into her routines! She WILLINGLY goes for naps and bed (and sometimes even asks to go when she is really tired!!).
M.
Mom to Hadlie - 22 months old