I Just Went Back to Work and My 4-Month Old Is Now Waking Every 2 Hours at Night

T., a friend of mine had this same issue and found that letting the baby sleep with her solved the problem. Her son just needed to be close to mama and since the day was no longer an option, night became the time. I have coslept with my two babies and it's wonderful (for me). With my first child i thought i had to get up and go in the other room, turn on the lights, change a wet diaper, etc. and all of this woke him up so it took a long time for him to go back to sleep. With my second, my daughter, i never got up with her once, i would roll over, nurse her before she was fully awake, and we both drifted off. My son would poop at night but my daughter never did and i think the reason is she never fully woke up. she is almost two now and sleeps great in her own little bed. she wakes up once and comes in for a quick nurse and is out for the night. it's not for everyone but you might give it a try. good luck!

First - listen to your gut. I'm reading between the lines here, but your gut's telling you that the nanny is not the best for your child. she's up every two hours because she is hungry and is not trusting of the nanny enough to eat during the day. even 4 month olds know when someone doesn't have their interests at heart. we had this happen w/our oldest. we changed nannies and w/in a week he was back to his old schedule. so, as someone else also posted, and I'm also being blunt - change nannies. any nanny that is not concerned about a 4 mo old not sleeping during the day is a nanny you don't want. I know its a hassle to find someone else. I've been there - we fired ours on gut instinct w/no idea who was going to even cover the next day! but it was absolutely the right decision as when I went to do it she was letting him scream and scream. So, if your gut is leading to any doubt at all, either fire right away or at least do a drop in at random times each of the next few days. hang in there - good nannies are definitely out there - we had one who's still like a member of the family.

I agree with most of the prev people my daughter will be one on tuesday and she still wakes up 1-2 times a night but if she does not get enough sleep during the day the nights are worse. I dont agree with the nanny a child that youg needs naps during the day!! to grow!

First, do not start your child on solids because they are not sleeping. They are not ready for solids until at least 6 months and eating solids does not make them sleep. Anyway, I think your baby is overtired from the daytime sleep deprivation and is not sleeping well at night as a result. I think your child should not suffer because the other baby does not nap (which they should!). The other possibility is that her sleep needs changed as they do around 3-4 months and she is getting too much sleep during the day. Try reading the book, Healthy SLeep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. He suggests that in addition to taking a morning nap around 9 and an afternoon nap around 1, babies that age should go to be earlier--between 6 and 8 p.m.--the earlier the better. Also, when they are rested they tend to be able to stay asleep. I would get a new childcare provider if your daughter's needs are not being met. Good Luck!

My son did that when I went back to work. And his caregiver was his Dad (with whom he was very comfortable), not a nanny. So yes, there may be issues with the nanny. But it may just be that your daughter misses you, knows you are home at night, and would like to stay awake and see you when you are there. Or she may be stressed by the changes and have a hard time with eating or sleeping in general. I'm sure that is exhausting.

Consistency in routine is key. Also, if you can have a special evening routine you two develop so she gets attention and some Mom time before bed, but gets to unwind, that will help. I read (and maybe you could have the caregiver read) "When Mama Gets Home Tonight" which is about a small child whose mother works all day. I know it's for an older audience than a 4 month old, but I find with reading it's best to start young and let them absorb ideas early.

When you say "the other baby doesn't nap at all during the day" I assume you mean the nanny is caring for 2 infants. How old is the other infant? Are they sharing a room for naptime? Maybe it would help if the nanny could have a quiet place to put your daughter, so the other child wouldn't wake her up? Can you meet with the other mother and talk about what each you expect with regards to your children's schedules, and help the nanny come up with a plan that meets both children's needs better?

When your daughter wakes up at night, I would avoid making a big production of it, stay calm and quiet, get back to sleep as soon as possible, but be reassuring too. Right now she likely needs the fluids and you don't want her to get dehydrated by restricting milk on night feedings. But when she's a lot older you limit the amount of food/drinks at night and she'll likely make it up in the daytime.

Try to give extra time and attention during the day (hard I know, after a long day at work when you are exhausted-I'm a full time working Mom too). It might be good to stay home a day and observe what happens with both children and the nanny, to get a feel for what your daughter's day is like, and areas where changes might help.

Most of all, know this will pass. The sleep deprivation seems to feel like it lasts forever when they are that young. But later you look back and can't believe the baby time flew by so fast. You WILL sleep again. Your life WILL feel manageable again someday. Just don't expect yourself to be Supermom... the perfect mother and the perfect employee. You may have to sacrifice in some areas and not be as perfect as you want with both your child and in your job. But it's ok.

Since both you and your husband are working full-time, I suspect you are both very tired. But I also suspect you get less sleep if you have to be up with the baby too. Is there anything your husband can do when he's home to take over so you can get some naps and breaks?

T., generally when a four month old has been sleeping through the night well for awhile and then starts regularly waking up evry 2 hours or so again, it is a signal that they are ready to start solid foods because they can't take in enough milk to make it through the night anymore and their hunger is waking them up. I would try feeding her some rice cereal before her last feeding and see if that helps her sleep for a longer period at night. Then you can try adding some cereal in the morning as well and go from there. Good Luck!

Hi T.,

I agree with everything that Suzy R said. I can tell she is a compationate person. I must say, that the EXACT same thing happened to me when I went back to work. I did not have any Nanny issues, because my son is being watched by his grandma and grandpa, who make sure he is getting enough to eat and sleep...and quite frankly, they rarely let him cry for more than one breath (more like a grunt). Ha Ha.

Anyway, my son is now 13 months old and still wakes up every two to three hours and I've tried everything the other people suggested...more food during the day, etc.

I'm convinced that he just wants to be close to me at night since I cannot be close to him during the day. I'm still nursing, so I find it mutually beneficial for him to drinka little bit a few times a night, so I don't have to pump.

Anyway, the best advice I can give you is get a fully reclining Lazy-Boy chair...best investment we made. When my son wakes up, I quickly pick him up before he even knows he's awake and sit in the chair and nurse for about 10-15 minutes. Before you know it, he's back to sleep and I lay him back down in his crib. 15 minutes isn't enough time to really wake up, so my body has learned to adjust...and I fall back to sleep.

As my grandma would say, "this too shall pass." They are only this young and vulnerable for such a short time...enjoy it and roll with the flow and try to sleep when they sleep.

I don't know if this is the right thing to do...I've read a lot of books thay say your should let them cry...so they can learn to self soothe. I've decided that I just cannot do that. He needs me for some reason at night and I've decided to be there for him (no matter how tired I am).

I hope you find some peace and a the happy medium between your needs and your daughter's needs.

Someone told me once...it's not like she'll be waking up every two hours when they go to college...so, eventually, she'll get it worked out. :)

About the nanny...I agree...any nanny that doesn't think a 4 month old needs a least 2 naps, if not three or four...isn't a good nanny.

Good Luck and sweet dreams!!!
B.

Change even to a newborn is change. Give her some time to adjust to the nanny, make sure the nanny follows the same schedule that you do so the baby isn't confused. A four month old going all day without a nap isn't good. I would be concerned to make sure your nanny is doing things correctly or how she is handling it. It is instinct for a baby to eat, sleep and poop during the day and at four mos should be easier to adjust.
I would say in a month or so if the baby isn't adjusting time to find a new nanny!!!

I think you will have to be firmer with the nanny. Just because the other child does not nap during the day, does not mean your daughter has to be sleep deprived. What I think is happening is if she does not get enough sleep during the day, she is overly tired during the night which makes it very hard to get them to sleep. The only way to get her back is to make sure the schedule is followed. My daughter is 16 months and she has to be on somewhat of a schedule or she is fussy and a pain to deal with. At 4 months they are starting to really develop their sleeping habits and she needs the schedule to help with that. If not, it could lead to more issues down the road. Hope that helped a little ;)
Good Luck!

Your child isn't getting enough sleep/attention/calories. She's now making up all the lost things at night. You can either find a new nanny, quit work and be there for your child or put up with the fact that your child needs you and is doing what is necessary for her to get her needs met.

Sorry to be blunt. Good Luck!