I talked about my daughter's friend to another one of her friends...the friend told the other friend who then lashed out at my daughter...my daughter had no idea I confused in her friend
You need to stay out of relationships between teenagers. Why were you, presumably an adult, talking to one teen about another teen?
I hate to tell you this but as the mom you stay out of conversation other than hi, how are you. You do not have conversations with your daughters friends unless they come to you and ask for your opinion. Even then you don't take badly about a child they know. Remember you an adult and you need to set an example of how they should be when they are grown. Gossiping and speaking badly about other people are not good traits to show. Please let everyone know that you are very sorry for your behavior and let them know that it will not happen again.
It sounds like you got a little too close to your daughters circle of friends.
Apologize for being a gossip and take a step away.
It's better you take some time with your own circle of friends.
Let the kids be kids and you go play with some other grown ups.
Welcome to mamapeida, S..
Have you considered APOLOGIZING to all involved? That would be a start.
Then you need to be a parent and not a friend to your daughter.
Apologize to all concerned, learn your lesson and don't repeat.
Why are you talking about your daughter's friends to her other friends? That is just odd and creepy.
You apologize. Why haven't you done that yet?
Then you keep your nose out of their business. You listen but you don't engage.
wow....
So...you GOSSIPED about one of your daughter's friends to another one of your daughter's friends?
I can't BELIEVE that somehow got back to her! (Sarcasm)
You apologize to this girl for acting like a kid and not like an adult. Then you keep your yapper shut and stop gossiping.
That's really inappropriate. I would apologize and move on. Lesson learned. Don't engage in gossip with your daughters teenage friends.
This is what we have to learn from the drama of our kids all talking about each other and not so much TO each other! The gossip gets passed around. And yes, it's gossip even if it's true. So, do you remember that game we played as kids, "Telephone" (one person tells a story to the next person, who passes it to #3, who passed it to #4....)? Remember how you were astounded that the last person has something so far from the original, it's barely recognizable? That's what happens when you talk to teens about teens.
So yeah, it sounds like you meant to be helpful, but you got way too involved in teen issues or drama, and one teen used what you said (or her version of what you said) to influence or intimidate or win an argument with another teen.
You show these kids what you want them to learn: that when you screw up, you apologize, and then you learn from it and don't do it again. Don't justify what you did, just figure out how you got sucked into this and what made you think it would work out well.
And you REALLY apologize to your daughter too.
