I Have3 Years Old Daughter Who Does Not Communicate with Her Teacher

First, I'm sorry if you got some answers that were harsh. I haven't read through them.

I would just like to give my own opinion...3 is so very young. When my children are 3, to me, they are still babies. Yes, brilliant little babies who can count and sing and know their letters and shapes and colors and a plethora of other things...but still, emotionally, they are babies.

I can't get my almost 3 year old to say HI to a person she doesn't want to, let alone wish someone a good morning. She's rather scream "NO!" and run in the opposite direction than to be nice and polite to someone she isn't close to...but at home, she's polite. Again, this is just about the age. They are JUST beginning to learn about the world around them and how people react to their actions.

I wouldn't get so upset and stressed about it. I know that's hard...I'm a bit stressed myself over my toddler...but people keep telling me not to be!

Why are you sending a 3 year old to kindergarten? Is this post for real? There is no school in the country that would admit a 3yo for kindergarten. She's acting like a 3 year old. Because she is.

Added per your SWH:

Okay, TTT, TIME OUT. Your post is going to get pulled with your SWH if you scream at people.

The answers to your post are your own fault. You said nothing in your original question about living overseas. You said NOTHING about this being an overseas kinder. You said nothing about kinder1 being for children who have completed their 3rd birthday by April 15th.

If you write here again, be clear about your circumstances. NO ONE in the US sends their children to kinder at 3 years old. You are writing to a group of mothers in a different country. Yes, there are people who live overseas who write in here. But this is US based. If you don't know how US schools are run, either familiarize yourself, or TELL the moms here that you live in Dubai when you write, and tell us that you don't know much about US based schools.

You think you don't have to prove to anyone that you aren't a troll? Well, all you'll get is crappy answers if you don't do better than you did before. I'm telling you that you have to ask questions in a way that lets us know you are for real, or you won't get the help you want.

For the other mothers here, take a look at this link:
http://www.gemskgs.com/contents.php?pageid=916&parent...
It's an example of what she is talking about.

Now to your problem. The school your child goes to is a very different concept than US based schooling for this aged child. Sitting at a desk and looking at a board is NOT done for 3 year olds. Indeed, it goes against child development guidelines for this age. Surely it is not the LAW that she has to go to kinders 1 and 2 in Dubai? Can you take her out of school and wait at least a year, or two? Can she go to kinder 2 when she is 5 years old, instead of to first grade? At the VERY earliest in the US, kinders don't start school until a very OLD four, or even a very old five. Most moms never consider an older four anyway. The kids can't sit still at the age of four. We have a choice to send them a year later if we feel that they are not mature enough to manage kindergarten at 5.

She needs a class where children PLAY to learn. She needs structure - morning play, clean up, reading, clean up. Lunch, rest, afternoon play, cleanup, that kind of thing. This is what we call preschool in the US. Child learn through play. At home, and to a certain extent, in preschool, they learn their numbers, alphabet, colors, vocabulary words, etc. They prepare their little bodies for writing by playing with playdough, clay, picking up little beads, using manipulatives, etc. They learn spatial concepts by putting together puzzles, train tracks, Duplos, etc. They NEED this kind of learning, TTT. Sitting at desks looking at a board is NOT the way 3 year olds learn.

Making her go to a school that uses THIS method of teaching will just teach her to hate school. I don't know what your options are in Dubai, but please at least try to find out. First, know the LAW. If you don't HAVE to send her, DON'T. Second, look for a real preschool. Ask to observe the way they run the classes. The children should be grouped by age - 3 year olds, 4 years, that kind of thing. There should not be any desks or a board. The kids should have stations around the rooms with toys, books, places to sit, like pillows, etc. They should have all kinds of different activities.

When she is a few years older, she will be better able to cope with real school. But not now.

Original:
Sorry, but I call BS. Don't write on here about a 3 year old going to kindergarten, sitting at a desk looking at the board. It's a lie.

The way to help you is to tell you to behave yourself and don't come on a mom's site and lie to us.

It is very common behavior for 3 year old children to not communicate very well with their teacher. When my son was in 3yo preschool, the teacher thought he couldn't talk even though at home he had a huge vocabulary and better grammar than most teenagers. If the teacher for your daughter thinks her behavior is abnormal then she hasn't been around very many classes of 3 year olds. Don't punish or scold her at home, she is too young to really understand the connection between her behavior at school and punishment at home. Instead, get her talking about her day, asking her what she likes and doesn't like. Also ask the teacher if her "bad" behavior is the same all day or if it occurs around the middle or end of the day when she might be hungry or tired.

And for the future, you might want to put information in your post about being in a different country. For us, your post shows you in Texas so people naturally assume you are in the United States and here 3 year old children do not attend Kg as it is too academically focused for a 3yo.

She is 3. In the US, kindergarten starts at 5 when children are more easily able to communicate with adults. She may not be ready for school. And she only just started, so there is an adjustment period. Talk to the teacher about your options, but your daughter sounds like a normal 3 year old. Now it's also possible that the teacher is scary to her, not like teacher is doing anything wrong, but she isn't mommy. Teacher may be louder, stricter, etc.

Seriously, though. She is 3. You can't "make her understand'. She's not much more than a baby, so expecting her to be mature and act older than her years is setting the BOTH of you up for stress.

If there is a 1/2 day option, or if she is able to stay hom with you till next year, or if there is some other option that is more like daycare and less like school, maybe that is the way to go.

Good luck!

I am editing my answer after reading your So What Happened. I apologize for being harsh before. I didn't realize that you lived in another country where, obviously, the school system is different.

Although your daughter enjoys going to school, she seems to be having a hard time adjusting to certain routines and not having the freedom to do what she wants. This is not unusual at all for a three year old and she probably just needs some time to adjust.

The fact that she whispers her answers to the teacher leads me to believe that she's probably feeling shy. Even if she isn't normally shy, this new situation may make her feel uneasy, or even intimidated (scared), so she's hesitant to speak out to an adult that she doesn't know well.

She's probably trying to have some control over her own behavior and actions now that she's faced with a situation where she doesn't have a lot of control over what she does. By refusing to look at the board, she's basically telling the teacher that she wants to have more control.

I think that continuing to talk to both your daughter and her teacher about it is really the best thing you can do. The teacher should be able to give you some advice. You can also try to find out from your daughter if there is a particular aspect of school that she doesn't like.

Is three the required age for starting school in Dubai? If not, maybe she's just not ready and would benefit from waiting another six months or so before going back to school.

3 year olds aren't in Kindergarten.

Are you saying that your 3 year old is in kindergarten? I don't know what the school system is like in Dubai; however, perhaps she should be in preschool or nursery school... her communication skills seem to be apprpriate fora 3 year old in her situation. Good luck

It sounds like they combine pre-school and kindergarten in Dubai.
I imagine the younger kids begin in a pre-school setting and gradually go up through kindergarten.
The Montessori school my son went to was something like that but it was only their last year that they called it kindergarten (and kindergarten was the highest grade they taught in that school).
(I had to look up 'tiffen box' - it's a type of lunch box used in India and some other places.)

Alright!
Pre-school can be a big transition for kids.

With my son, when he started pre-school (he was 3 1/2), he had a few problems with listening to his teacher.
He wanted to feel like he could do everything perfectly - he hated to be corrected - and when the teacher corrected him or explained the class rules he took it personally and thought the teacher didn't like him and if the teacher didn't like him he wasn't going to listen to her.

The teacher HAD NO IDEA he felt that way.
It took me several months to figure out what was going on.

I talked with him and explained that everyone in the class was there to learn how to do things - no one comes to school already knowing how to do everything.
And because everyone is learning, the teacher has to explain what the rules are - to everyone - it doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

Then I spoke with the teacher and let her know why he wasn't listening.
I said when he gets corrected it would help if there was a brief 'make friends' moment - a little hug, etc so that he doesn't get so defensive.
Once she knew, the teacher totally understood.

He became the best student after that.
He listened and followed instructions and he outgrew that phase he was in within a few months.

I think you need to help your daughter and her teacher understand and make friends with each other and then your daughter will pay better attention at school.

Sounds like she just wants to be home with her mom. Does she have to go to school at 3? If not, I would keep her home another year, enjoy your time with her and teach her how to socialize with people.

This IS normal behavior for her developmental stage. My son didn't really speak in school when he was 2, and he wasn't comfortable or happy there until he was nearly 4.

I guess my question for you is just, Is there any other school you could enroll her in, or do you have the option of waiting a year?

You might also try googling the phrase "slow-to-warm-up child." This described my son perfectly, and now that he's older, he's doing very well in school. It may apply to your daughter as well.

Your daughter may have Selective Mutism and it's best not to force her to speak. It will make it worse and damage her as well. Search www.selectivemutism.org for more information.

I have to say how shocked and embarrassed I am by my Mamasource community's behaviors and comments.

TTT is just a mom looking for suggestions in helping her 3 year old. Simple as that. Troll?! Did I miss something? How cruel to call her a troll! What on Earth?! In no way was she even remotely rude, crude, mean or nasty - not like you.

It was very obvious to me by TTT's broken English that she was not American. Why are you jumping to conclusions and accusing her of lying?

Why even bother to log in to Mamasource to make a comment to only spew hate? You are just plain ugly. Keep that to yourself. Instead of beating someone else up and being a bully, you need to be beating yourself up for being so cruel.

She is 3 years old. Obviously too young to be in the program she is in. If it was a good fit, I do not think you would be seeing a problem. 3 year olds need to learn about life, play, socialize and just plain be silly sometimes.

Your daughter is only three years old. She could be much more shy at school or with the particular teacher that she has than when she is at home with her Mommy. She is probably much more comfortable communicating at home. I do not think it has much to do with you being a strict parent, but more likely that your daughter is more shy at school.

Maybe your daughter needs some reassurance that the teacher is there to help her and will take care of her, and that she will be safe there until she gets home. If this is her first time at school and not just a "new school" she may need more time to get used to the new surroundings and people.

My advice is to give your daughter more time, and give her a lot of hugs and kisses and to reassure her that she's doing a great job.

I am shocked and extremely disturbed that our Texas mothers response to this question were soo nasty, negative, and not in the least helpful.
WOW.
1. It is clear from the original post that english was not the primary language.
2. If you don't know the answer or the question evades your understanding, don't answer it. There are enough hateful people in the world. This site is not about one persons opinion, but about helping each other.
3. It is clear that some people do know how to approach the actual problem (not the person), without passing judgment, so stating that "we" wouldn't know about the school system because "we" are in America is plain ignorant.
4. Post from other areas getting put into the wrong feed happens often enough on Mamapedia, that asking WERE someone is located is would not be going above and beyond and it would be far more effective then childish name calling.
5.There is no reason to lecture about "next time" and "well you should have", because the same aplies to us.
"Next time ask were the child goes to school?"
and
"You should have thought about your answer before posting it."

This is not the first time that jumping to conclusions and hateful negativity have plagued this site.
This is one of the worst that I have seen.
What is the point in joining a support community and not behaving in a supportive and helpful manner?
If the only thing you get out of this site is a perverse enjoyment for the plights of others, do the COMMUNITY a favor and close your account.

This is NORMAL behavior. She is only three. A good teacher will know how to nurture your daughter.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry too much about it...she is so very young. These couple years of preschool will help her to feel more comfortable in a school setting so she will be better at communicating by the time she is five and starts kindergarten. Talk to her often about how nice her teacher is, how fun preschool is, about the fun things she does there. Maybe go volunteer once a month. It might take the entire year of preschool for your daughter to start warming up and that is ok! Remind her to be polite. Remind her to listen to her teacher. But don't make it a negative experience...she just might not be ready yet. My daughter is 3 and is in preschool and there is one little boy (from India) who is new to the class and he has been having a hard time adjusting. It has been 2 months now and he finally does not cry off and on the whole morning. Today he really was enjoying himself but he still does not do what the teacher asks him to most of the time. And this is ok. Now that he is getting more comfortable she is starting to insist he do what the other kids are doing and I noticed he is starting to engage a little more. I bet by next year he will be doing great. Your daughter's teacher should try to be firm but kind and keep it positive. 3 years old is sooo young still.