I guess I owe everyone an explanation hence I am writing this.. After reading all the responses from my previous Question, I realized what I did to my husband and my kid is so wrong. Both of them didn't deserve this and I was being selfish, yes I was craving for Love and attention and I was being immature.
I'm going to tell him my co-worker after he returns from his business trip next Tues that I'm going to leave him for good and we're Over. I need this job so don't think I will quit because of him. I guess I will ignore and only chat with him on work related matters. I will try to avoid him in future.
I will try to build and rekindle the relationship with my husband and promise I won't ever cheat on him. But I dont plan to tell him of that I've cheated on him because I know he will probably bring my kid away and divorce me.
We all make mistakes, C.. And we all deserve a second chance when we realize that we have made those mistakes.
Good luck in rekindling a loving relationship with your husband. I admire that you are seeking to do the right thing, despite your past failings. God bless.
You go girl!! It is only natural to want love and affection. The key is to find healthy stable ways to get it!
GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Sounds like you have a great plan of action!!
I am sure it won't be easy. However, I think if you put the energy into your marriage that you were putting into your affair? You just might get the love and attention you were looking for!!
So often times people forget marriage is hard work!! I am sooo glad to hear that you actually heard the words from the people on here! There are some really good women on this board - men too!!
Have fun rekindling your marriage! Act like you are dating again! Slip him notes....telling him you love him...etc.
Good for you :-))
I also recommed counseling for you. You need to talk all of this out with someone. If you went outside of your marriage for love and affection, then you need to find out why.
Best of luck to you.
I disagree 100% with the post that says you have to tell your husband. NO. You don't. What you have to do is to fix your marriage.
Telling your husband will only serve to make you feel better, by getting it off your chest. What it will do to him is hurt him a great deal.
You don't have the right to hurt him. Work on your marriage to try to make up for your affair. Be a good wife and mother. Don't have another affair.
Dawn
I've been cheated on and I did forgive my husband... but I'll never forget. Ever! All these years later it still hurts. I considered divorce and taking my children but in the end I love him, he loves me, he was repentant for his actions and it was a marriage worth saving.
But I disagree that you have to tell him. I wish my husband hadn't told me. All it did was hurt me and made him feel better and lessened his guilt... not my pain. Sure we saved our marriage and we came out in tact but the same could have been done with him keeping it to himself and just working on it with me. I don't agree at all with the telling. Work on it and keep the guilt to yourself. You deserve to carry it your whole life. He DOESN'T!
C. I am glad you have decided to be a mature person. If you love your husband work on it. Find what attracted you to him in the first place. Make new memories and find love again with him.
Now, this breakup your talking about with the other person. Make it quick and painless. Do not try to avoid him, just avoid him. If he needs a reason why your not going to see him anymore. Tell him your husband and child love you and you want to love them back the way they deserve.
this is a great plan C.. GOOD JOB. we are here if you need advice or comfort - it won't be easy, we know that. but it will be the RIGHT thing to do.
i also would encourage you to seek counselling or talk to your husband (not about the cheating necessarily- about you and him). if you are unhappy enough that you went looking elsewhere, your marriage needs work. i hope you can find happiness THERE.
good luck :)
Honesty is the only way to attempt to save your marriage, sure it may be destroyed but it WILL be destroyed WHEN he finds out. These things always have a way of biting you. Plus, who wants to be in a marriage where truth is not a requirement?
Good plan.
As far as your co-worker goes - keep it all business and if you have to meet with him (on business related issues - never see him outside of work) make sure you have at least one other co-worker (preferably a friend of yours, not anyone one who's a good friend of his) with you so you are never alone with him.
Try to make sure you are never without a chaperon when you are near this guy (or anyone else you might be tempted by).
Working on your marriage will not be easy but resolving your issues will make you feel better in the long run.
I am so happy that you came to this realization. Best wishes and prayers for your marriage and family!
I'm sooo glad you made this decision.
I do hope you will get counseling with your husband, or alone. You don't have to make mention of the affair. Counseling could really help what is broken and lacking in your marriage.
6 questions, all dealing with loss. That must be a very dramatic situation for you.
You have to come clean with your husband, or you will be plagued by a life of lies and guilt. Get a therapist or a counselor first do you can start dealing with the reasons why you chose to cheat, and have that therapist or counselor help you tell your husband the truth.
