I Have a Really Hard Time with Loneliness Sometimes

I know how it goes and have seemingly been in that kind of a relationship for the past couple years which has ended in a custody battle. I am new to Thornton, so not to far away and am totally alone at the moment, aside from the animals I take of everyday it is lonely. I suggest just doing it and moving past those fears. I can't say much cause I'm in the same boat, but you at least have to give it a try or you will never know if it is good or not. Let me know how it works out!

M.,
What you are going through can be very normal when you move to new places. It part of adjusting. I work with exchange students and I am sure what you are experiencing is a little bit of "culture shock" even though you like being in Denver you can feel lonely and making new friends can be very hard. The best advice I can give you is to try to be more outgoing than you might normally be. Because you aren't working and you are primarily at home you are very isolated but you need to get out. Find a local mom's group -- try meetups.com. I am not sure exactly where you are but in the Boulder area there are lots of playgroups, there is a place call the parenting place with lots of resources. Introduce yourself to moms at the park.

If you want to meet people you've met online .. meet them in a public place with lots of people. Always give yourself an out but you've got to try to put yourself out there (with your and your son's saftey in mind.. along with your well being). Motherhood can be very isolating and lonely and overwhelming. Reach out for the support you need.. with community organizations, with online groups......

L.

Hi M..

I can totally related with you. I have lived in Colorado for 9 1/2 years and I dont have that many friends. Most of my friends are single and dont have kids. I have a little girl that will be 3 in June. I have a hard time meeting other moms that want to hang out and take kids to the park. I have tried going to social events at my daughters school and going to scrapbooking clubs and I havent had much luck. The hardest problem for me is that I am a young mom, I am 26. Most of the parents that have kids my daughters age are in their mid thirtys and we dont connect. If you would like someone to chat with and grow a friendship please email me. :) ____@____.com Everyone can always use a new friend!

A.

OH BOY!! Do I know how you're feeling! My husband and his ex-wife were high school sweethearts, had all the same friends, grew up in the same neighborhoods.... I met my husband in Pueblo and after 2 months of dating, I moved with him up here to Denver.... Back to his ex-wife, all THEIR friends, and THEIR 2 kids. I've been here 3 years now, and still don't have more than one or two friends.... I have 2 boys, ages 2 and one, but when we first moved here, I went through a MAJOR depression. When my oldest was 9 months, we found out my husband was going to be deployed, and I was pregnant again. He was gone a year. What a tough, lonely year it was. The only friend I really had was his mother. My boys helped me get through it, but you know what? If it's NOT simple depression, you could need medication, if not only to help you get through this time. The one friend I have here in the Denver area I met thru MamaSource while my husband was deployed, but I know how you feel. Giving a total stranger any info about you is terrifying. I would like to help you, if I could. I'm a SAHM of a 2 year old boy, 1 year old boy, and 10 and 7 yr. old step-children. If you're still not sure about me, be sure to check out my MySpace page!!

http://www.myspace.com/mindykate75/

and if you feel like it, give me a call! I know a great park... I'm not sure exactly where you are. My number is:

###-###-#### or cell ###-###-####

My husband didn't understand what I was going through, either. He didn't understand why I wasn't just happy that I had him, and why I couldn't just fully jump into friendships with his and his ex-wife's friends. My husbands family (female cousins and his sister) LOVE his ex-wife and have done everything possible to make sure I know that they like her better. It's a tough, spirit crushing situation. Don't go through it alone!

Love, M. Kate

It can be very lonley at times,but there are many mommy groups in the area, I don't belong to any, but my girlfriend does and she loves them. Many mothers that do them are stay at home moms. depending on the area you are in you can usualy find them on line, and check them out before you join. Good luck to you.
M.

Hi M.,

I know exactly how you feel. I've lived several places where the only people I initially knew were thru my husband. We also recently moved to Colorado (about 7 months ago). I am a stay-at-home mom so I know how hard it is to meet people.

I actually started a myspace.com profile(www.myspace.com/114280626). I thought it was something only teens used but it's not! I have made real friends that way. I also found a playgroup there called Colorado Kiddos. It's been a good way to meet friends for me and the kids. Their website is www.myspace.com/coloradokiddos

I also just started my own playgoup on meetup.com called The
Moms' Playgroup. Our website is http://sahm.meetup.com/2122

You should really visit the sites. Everyone there is in the same situation looking for friends and things to do. I think it will help. Please let me know what you think. Looking forward to seeing you in a group soon! Best of luck.

A.

Hi M.- I am also a young mother myself, I have lived in CO my entire life, but I know what you mean about meeting people over the internet, it can be scary at times, as long as you meet in a public place or in a group I think it would be fine ;) I live in Westmisnter with 3 kids, ages 5, 2 & 10months if you ever want to do a playdate, not sure how old your lil one is?

L.

I feel the same way sometimes. I think that we all get a little sad at times.

I to am a young mom with a young son and not too many friends. After a while you sometimes forget what it is like to have a real adult-like conversation. :)

It is good that you are staying busy with school as well as your son.

I don't know much about meeting people online but what I do know is that you have already taken that first and most terrifying step out there. You have posted on an online forum something about yourself and the fact that you want to meet other people.

You can PM me anytime that you wish. I am in Golden and that is close enough to the Denver Metro. :)

I moved here from Illinois about 11 years ago. I am almost 29 and I know how difficult it can be. I went through the same thing with my husbands friends and their wives/girlfriends. I felt better when I went to college and got my degree. I met people on campus and we clicked because we had the same major. Now I am meeting people because I am a teacher. I am also meeting parents of my sons classmates. He will be in Kindergarten next year. Hang in there! Get involved in something with your son and you will find other mom's with similiar things in common or similiar interests. That way you can find someone to spend time with that "gets" you a bit because they might hold the same values that you do. Just some ideas! Hope they help!!!

M.,
I'm a stay at home mom who also recently moved to Denver and didn't know anybody. Meeting other stay at home moms through an online website helped me a lot.
The website is www.meetup.com. Inside there are all kinds of groups of people who want to meet and share something in common. Check "Denver stay at home moms and dads" and "friendly first time mommies", their both excellent. The first one mostly works in the Aurora area, although they have some meetup activities downtown Denver. The second one works mostly in the Westminster/Broomfield/Thornton area. But I know there are many more groups.
Thanks to these groups I don't feel that lonely. I have a 2 year old daughter and I just had my second baby. I love to be out of the house doing things, the groups not only give you mom support and friendship, they also give you ideas of what to do with a young child in the Denver area.
I live in the Broomfield area, if you ever want to meet and do something or just hang out, let me know.
E.

I relate to what you're saying because I came to Denver and didn't know anyone, except for my husband. The TV was my companion and I can't believe how much time went by before I did something.
My advice: You need to decide which direction you want to go! Life is TOO SHORT to wait for things to happend. Don't waste time, because the time to take action is NOW! Make a list of things you'd like to do, do some research on things you'd like to go or take your son to. There are lot's of places where you can meet people. See if there are any events at your local library (lot's of moms with kids go there), your city... go to that group of moms that exercise with their babies (I can't remember the name of the group right now, but I'm sure they're on the web... anyone remembers the name?). Plan, plan, plan. Think of the people you want to be surrounded by: with kids, no kids, same hobbies, etc. and then make your plans. DON'T LET SADNESS RULE! Take action and go for it!

hello M., my nane is F. and i have the same problem. I;m 23 yrs old and i have four kids, so it makes it even harder for me to be able to meet new people, plus sometimes they get scared lol!! i get depressed at times, but i just started school for medical ass. i'm a very shy person. I i never had the luxury to have any friends cause i was raised in different types of foster homes, so i do understand were your coming from, if i'm not at school i'm always at home. but my husband trys to take me out at times just because i start getting depresed, withch is fine,but talking to my husband is different then talking to a friend. But if you need someone to talk to you can e-mail me we can get to know each other and maybe we can have time to go shopping stuff that women do but i'm here if you need a friend. ____@____.com. i hope mi'm able to help

Hi Michele,

There is a group called mop (mother of preschoolers). You can bring your son and he can play with other kids his age (they have classes divided up by age group) and the moms hang out together for a couple of hours twice a month. There are groups every other Tues, every other Thurs, and a some do on Wed evening. There are meeting all over the Denver area, but they usually take a break for the summer. The group I have attended, had a summer "book club" last summer. If you want to know more info, please let me know. There is even a web address, but I not sure of it off hand.

I understand how you feel. As an older mother, I really had no one to talk to either. Friends children were all grown up. I also have a son who means everything to me. He is four now. However, I had to work so maybe I didn't feel the loneliness you are dealing with. Have you tried just meeting other moms at the public library for story hours or at parks? There are also mom groups online. You could just google one for your area and see where they meet. I live in arvada and I know there is one here. I have heard a lot of good things about it. I never had the opportunity to use it. I just think that you are so lucky to be staying home with your son. I wish I could have stayed home with my son. That is what is causing an ache in my heart. I feel like I didn't protect him like I was supposed tol I sure hope you start to feel better. Smile and laugh and people will be drawn to you. Hope this helps.