I Have a Monster at Me Feet!

Aside from the terrible two's, also consider that her life has suddenly been turned upside down. Think about it, you are in between homes, so her familiar and comfortable surroundings are no more, there are extra people present (even if they are grandma and grandpa) and I'm certain that some of her daily routines have changed a little bit. Additionaly, I'm sure that there is a certain amount of anxiety or nervousness on your part while waiting for your paperwork to clear and for your new life to start, all of which your dauther can pick up on.

At this age, she's stil learning how to fine-tune the way she expresses her emotions and many times it may just degenerate to tantrums out of frustration. My girlfriend's son had the same types of problems with meltdowns of thermonuclear proportions around this age when they had moved into a new home and then a week later had grandparents come and stay for a month (they're from out-of-country).

You may find this article to be of some help (http://www.babycenter.com/0_tantrums_11569.bc), but please also consider consulting with your pediatrician if you are really concerned about her hurting herself. Take heart, stay strong and it will pass.

Best of luck!

Hi -- First make sure she is eating and sleeping well. Kids who are tired / hungry turn into monsters.

Second she sould get a medical check-up to rule out anything like an ear infection etc -- especially since you will be travelling. If this was already done and nothing was found then good.

Did you change anything before this change in her demeanor? Did she get immunizations recently? Was she taken from a friend? See if you can isolate what changed in her diet, sleep, people in her environment, things in her environment, etc. Then work out what to handle from there. Let me know. Thanks, K. S.

You have gotten very good advice so far. I would check out the things they say to. My son does this and first I look to see if he is ok then I ignore him. I will peek to make sure he is alright and I catch him looking at me. He wants me to give him attention for this and I don't. When he is done I go and ask him what is wrong and try and find something else for him to do. Usually he is having a fit, because he didn't get his way. Example he want to climb on the kitchen table. He has almost stopped doing this. Now he comes up to me and I try and figure out what he wants.
Best of luck,
Susie

Hello V.,
well usually that is normal for children to change their personality like that. It is call the terrable two's. Mine always started to act out about that time frame. They are starting to come into their own personality. Well, first of all don't worry if she hurts herself. You can tell her in a calm voice honey don't do that because you will hurt yourself and when she keeps on doing it, just ignore her. And when or if she does just turn around and kneel to her and let her know see I told you. Then of course comfort her pain and when she is calm that is when you talk to her about how she is not suppose to act that way. But when she is being outrageous you have to ignore her because she wants you to feed into it. And when you do, they keep on doing it because they are getting you to responed. Every child is different, so always keep that in mind because you will always her my child did not do that or whatever but don't let that make you think that there is something wrong with her. If you really feel that way, then talk to her doctor to see what he or she suggest for you. Plus she could also be reacting to much because there is so much change in your life now and she can sense that. So try to have some kind of scedule in your life. Even if that is going out with her every friday to go to the park or something. But always be stern, don't allow her to have her way either. And that is hard because you may want to give in to her demand just to keep her quiet. But when you start to do that, you are teaching her that if she does this she will get her way with you. And when it comes to your stepmom, try to be nice but still tell her that this is your problem and you will take care of it. Don't be rude because you still live with her. And if you feel that you can not keep living with her until you get your visa, then you may have to find something temp for now. I know it is not easy being a single parent but there are always some solution to your problem. You just have to see what works for exampl, you can put her on a timeout when she misbehaves. Most children don't like that. But in the end when things died down, you always talk to her and let her know why she can not act that way. She may not get it now but it is always good to talk to your kids to let them know what they are doing wrong. So they always know where they stand in your parenting. I sure hope I helped. I wish you so much luck!

Hi V.,
Your child's response seems totally normal and expected, given the circumstances. I am sure that she is very aware of what is happening (tho probably doesn't understand it all), the change, the move, etc. and she is reacting to it. I would encourage you to be very compassionate with her. Talk to her about the move, reassure her that altho the change will be hard for everyone for a little while, there are good reasons to go, etc. Her world is turning upside down (it has already begun since you've left your home and you're in limbo right now)and she needs to be sure that some things--like you, your love, safety, etc.--are stable. Really tune in to her and try to verbalize for her what she is feeling. "I bet you're feeling really scared ... confused ... (whatever)" Be tender with her and help her express her feelings in a healthy way. Crying is okay, biting is not, for example. She needs you to be there, close, emotionally. Keep her informed and secure. Prepare her for what's coming as much as possible. Good luck in China.