I Have a 2 1/2 Year Old Growling at Babies and Smaller Childern

I could be wrong, but I think he just loves all the attention he gets from you....your heighthened reaction when he acts this way. Kids want/desire attention so badly they will take negative attention just as easily as positive.

I would go out of my way to give him regular one on one time everyday (15-20 min set a timer) and praise him when he is nice to anyone of any age. I am sure you will get some great ideas from others on discouraging the negative behavior....I would immediately leave any situation when he acts that way (warn him before going to the park etc. what will happen, and when it happens do not even blink, say "we are going now because your behavior is out of control so I am going to help you control yourself be taking you home..." he will tantrum the whole way home and then some, but you will probably only have to do this once or twice. After he calms himself down tell him you love him, but that his behavior of hitting/growling at young children is not right and that you are going to help him control himself by taking him from those situations until he figures out another way to act.

Also watch him carefully he is probably reacting with growling vs. saying "I have this toy, you can have it in a minute...." etc. so work on giving him the words he needs to negotiate in the social realm.

HAng in there this seems like a phase.

I am so sorry...I understand completely what you are going through. My son is also 2 1/2 and is doing exactly the same thing. I'm sure it is just a phase, but it has been driving me crazy!! And, like any mother, it makes me wonder if I am doing something wrong, and question my mothering abilities. I am so glad that I am not alone! Knowing somebody else is going through the same thing makes me feel a whole lot better. I don't have any advice other than just choose your method, and stay consistent. I know that my son is extraordinarily stubborn and it has taken a month worth of timeouts, etc. before a behavior is curbed. So if you try something and it doesn't work after a 2 or 3 times, don't give up. Many people say you shoud see results after a few times, but, each kid is an individual and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, I have ever tried with my son has worked that quickly. Good Luck... I look forward to reading the advice you receive.

do you own any dogs? or been around them recently? my 3 year old has started growling lately, she plays dog a lot...anyway she does it now because she gets a reaction but she did it originally I think because of her vivid imagination and if she's going to be a dog--well they growl! mine growl when they play--long story on that one BUT--that was what came to mind when you brought that up. I have talked to her about playing puppy and when it's appropriate and when it isn't. She still sometimes just growls though--we talk about how she is feeling and I even asked is it fun to see your friends get scared? and she laughed and said it was so funny. So we talked about what would be a better way to have fun with her friends where no one would be scared. and that we could play dog and growl and set a time for it...validating her imagination but hopefully helping her have better social skills. this was just a couple of weeks ago and we had spring break with preschool so not a lot of other kid interraction...hopefully it got through.
good luck, sounds like you have one with an imagination and fun character though-- :)

You may have tried this, but I'm not sure if you did.

When we're instructing children that it's not right to scare little Sally, it's vital to explain WHY we don't scare Sally. In order for a child to learn to be "nice", they need to learn empathy. Something like this, "When you growl at Sally, you scare her. She becomes very afraid of you. She's worries that you might hurt her, or hit her, or take her toy, or yell at her. Sally doesn't want to be hurt. She wants to enjoy playing with her toy. But when you growl at her, she learns that she's not safe around you, so she doesn't want to be around you anymore. Remember when Kyle hit you in the back with the baseball? Remember how much that hurt, and you cried, and I kissed the boo-boo? That's how Sally feels when you scare her. Do you understand that growling is scary and that you shouldn't do it, because it scares people?"

This is how I taught my children empathy, and they're great with little kids and pets and people with unfortunate situations (disabilities, divorcing parents, etc.).

My neighbor, on the other hand, yells at her children when they do something like "growling" and puts them in a serious time out, but she never has that empathy discussion with them. And consequently, they have never learned to be nice, and I personally don't consider young children and pets to be safe around those children, ages 6-13 -- I've witnessed their harsh behavior many times.

we have a four year old child who loves dogs and does the same thing. is he an animal person or is this something completly different? Good luck

You are not alone. My 5 year old has loved animals since he was born and has played dog for years now. His brothers will play dogs with him too, he is so into it he will not break character. He has a very vivid imagination way more so then my other two children and so I let him play dog when ever he feels like it at home as long as it doesn't effect his behavior. He knows I expect the same behavior from him as a child as I do him playing dog and he knows there is a time and a place for it. Having said that when he was three he would growl at other children a lot. It was interesting how much he would use it as a buffer, sometimes it would be like he was saying "do you want to play" and other times it was more like he was setting up his line in which other children should not cross. Once he was doing it to a child and the child seemed frightened and then that child growled back and my kid went wimpering away, it was interesting to see it played back on him. It can scare children and mine needed to realize how much he didn't like being scared. He didn't know how to deal with his feelings and his words together, growling was much easier and less frustrating. Also I needed to teach my child how to interact with younger children, it is much different then with older children and I realized it more when I was pregnant with his younger brother because we talked about it so much. By the way he is a wonderful big brother and loves to play dogs with him :) Good luck!

I had a great solution presented with my grandson when he was bullying someones dogs. They said "if you arnt nice they wont want to be your friend". Since he tried to alternately love and bully my little dog I used that tactic. "She wants to be your friend and if you hit, shove, run at and scare her etc she will be afraid of you and wont want to be your friend"....will hide under the couch etc!
Since my kids are grown I had the luxury of smiling at him growling! But I know it isnt funny when it is happening. My first question that came to mind is do you have a dog or a friend have one where he had learning that growling works for them?
What came to mind to me right off is to tell him (all boys need to learn this soon and well!) "that we are always gentle with things/people smaller than us.
Hope it all goes well!

What a great opportunity to teach him empathy! After the first empathy talk you may want to then shorten it to, "Would you like someone to treat ______ that way" and pick a name of someone he really likes. (Be careful... if it is someone he's competitive with the answer may be 'yes').

Also, I'm a bit curious as to how he handles his older sister. With a 2 year age difference there could be some sibling rivalry and its a good possibility that she is getting the upper hand more often than not. He may need your empathy when she does and then some words he can use to stand up to her.

Good book: How to Talk So Kids Can Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk.

As far as having another child: the more involved in the pregnancy you allow him to be, the more attached and bonded he will be towards "his" baby. (This doesn't mean you will avoid all sibling squabbling).

Good luck!