I Guess I Don't Get the Whole Homecoming "Mum" Thing

It's a Texas thing....maybe Oklahoma too. And although I am a Texan, I have always found them ugly and obnoxious. They started out as simple corsages made of chrysanthemum (hence the name mum), but over time it has morphed. The bigger the better. It's supposed to be a status symbol of sorts. At one time boys gave them to girls. But I don't think that is the tradition any longer. Around here they are worn at school and the games. I don't think too many people wear them to the dances, but I could be mistaken. Don't feel bad, even some of us Texans, don't "get it" either.

I had never heard of these so I just looked them up. How awful! What is the point of buying a beautiful dress just to cover it with a giant dimestore craft! I wish I lived in Texas. The profit for selling these things could be a small fortune!

Thanks for posting this because I'm originally from Illinois and we didn't have mums either; my daughter was asking me all kinds of questions about it, and I was confused... After reading some responses, it's a Texas thing...

I think that that might be a Southern thing, not sure. And the bigger, the better. I didn't care too much for them when I was in school, but the size does seem to balance out the big hair. I don't know anything about the kind of money your niece's parents have, but the truly spectacular ones are made with live flowers, and they can be rather pretty (when decorated subtly--more like a flower arrangement and not a neon sign), although still too much to hang on a dress. Seriously, who wants to wear a funeral arrangement? They have become trophies themselves, and people personalize them with trinkets that tell their stories, much like someone would personalize a yearbook or school memory book. So they might have a boyfriend's football jersey number hanging off of it and a megaphone if she's a cheerleader, etc. It's meant to be a big gaudy mess, and the more activities one participates in, the more options for decorating.

One thing that always gets me into trouble--so, of course, you should do ti right away--is asking people why they do things. (I am so amazed at the number of people who do things--especially big deals--and can't explain why.) Since you are new to the custom, I think that you should be able to ask her to tell you what that means to her, what the purpose is, without necessarily offending her or hurting her feelings. Even if you don't ever fully get it, you might be able to appreciate more her connection to it.

ETA: I forgot to mention that these are not usually worn to the dance. They are to be worn on game day to school and to the game.

On the west coast we NEVER and I mean NEVER had these things ... I did not see them until I moved to the south. I too think they are horrid horrid jokes to play on these girls; what happened to a pretty corsaige?

Ok, so here is an article that makes it all "come to light" ... I love my southerners!
http://ezinearticles.com/?Homecoming-Mums-History-Q-and-A...

Oh gosh, you're taking me back to high school :). First off shame on your SIL for 1) Not making the date foot the bill for the mum (as is very customary) and/or 2) Not making it herself.. you're right they are WAY cheaper to make. I'm not exactly sure where the tradition started but we followed it to a T at my school.. They don't wear it the whole time, mainly just for the football game and pictures, I agree that it's not the most sane tradition but it was always fun.. Granted no one in their right mind should spend $200 on one, that's just ridiculous.. when I was in school you could get a pretty nice one (store bought or made by a florist) for about $50.. And it quite possibly could be a Texas thing.. thanks for the memory LOL

yep...I think they are ugly, too and honestly dread that in just a couple of years my daughter will be probably wearing one :-P

Is this a Texas thing? Never heard of them here in PA, and I attended high school in a pretty affluent area....they sure are ugly though!

Strange, I've never heard of them. We wore corsages (real flower) on our wrist, and pinned a small bud to the guy when I was in school.

Incidentally, I thought a mum was an autumn flower (and a mom). My husband and I used to work at the same office (different floors, but same building). On my birthday he arrived earlier than me and had beautiful mums and a balloon on my desk. When I called to thank him, he said he didn't do roses this year because he thought he'd get me mums since I'm going to be a mum. I left work THAT DAY in labor....Mums mean a lot more to me now. :)

All I know is that when I was in high school, I saw these as a "status symbol." The preppy rich girls got them. The nerdy or average kids did not. I agree that they look a bit ridiculous and cost WAY too much for what they actually are or do. Perhaps I'm in the wrong business of SAHM. MUM-Making is a bigger money-maker.

It's a regional thing. I never had one and my SD's school doesn't do it. I think they are Texan, where everything is big. :)

Texans do this and I agree with you. It is all about the biggest and best. One year, to be different, my niece asked me to buy her a small wrist one. Michaels and Hobby Lobby carry the supplies and floral shops sell them as well.

Never heard of this, so I googled it. http://knol.google.com/k/homecoming-mums#
http://www.dbstigertails.com/mums.html

I think these are totally awful, and as a Mom I would be so disappointed in buying my daughter a gorgeous dress only to have it look like a craft store attacked her. What happened to having your date buy you flowers?? I guess I could imagine this for the game or even for fun, but do they really wear these all night at what should be an elegant dance?

Yikes. I guess we did a lot of puff paint and fake flower stuff to decorate for homecoming, I guess they are having fun... I am just glad I haven't seen the tradition around here yet.

It is a huge tradition in Texas. I don't know about the rest of the Southern states. I don't know when it began, but over the years they have gotten larger. Thank goodness you did not say anything negative about it, she would have been crushed. Anyone who is anyone has them. Typically, the girl's date buys it for her. If no date, the parents do. The girl in turn buys a smaller mum corsage for the boy that is on a garter worn on his arm.

I still have all of my mums from jr. high and high school hanging on the wall in my parents' house (that's a whole other story about my "time locked" bedroom, I graduated 23 years ago!). When I was a girl, the different streamers had glitter/glitter stickers with your name, your date's name, your grade (fresh, soph, jr., sr.), your activity (i.e. I was in band and flag corps so I had that on there), and the year. You also hung trinkets from it such as plastic musical instruments, a cow bell, jingle bells, football helmets, etc.

I used to always get my younger sister a small version of mine to wear. She was in hog heaven since it was such a status symbol and none of her friends sisters got them one.

Funny Story...
I remember when I was in college 3 friends came home with me one weekend. On the way there we stopped for dinner in this small town and kids there had on mums. I didn't think anything about it knowing it meant it was homecoming there. My 3 friends (from Iowa, Michigan, and NY) almost had a fit asking what those hideous things were. They were appalled to say the least. I had to explain to them their significance. Then when we got to my parents, we had a "special viewing" of mine.

I think that it is truly a Texas (or Southern) thing and you don't mess with our traditions or Friday night football! lol

When I was a teenager, I worked at Michael's and we made these god-awful things. I never understood it, certainly never wore one, and you're right that they cost dollars to make.

That said, most teenagers see them as a status symbol. I guess it shows wealth and privilege. *shrug* Plus, you know how the phrase goes...'everything is bigger in Texas!"

It's usually a fundraiser for the school and something to get the kids pepped up for homecoming and feeling the "School pride/spirit".

I didn't realize that they still did those tacky “football mums”. My daughters just had their HS Homecoming this past weekend and I didn’t see one mum. Of course, we live in a rural area and are sometimes behind the times. We had them when I was in HS many years ago, but I didn’t like them then either. I always thought that they were gaudy and garish. If I remember right, they are a huge tradition in Texas.

I never heard of it before.
I had to Google it and then look at images in order to see what you were talking about.
Oh My Goodness!
Since I never grew up with this, I have no hope of understanding it.
On the other hand, there are people selling Mum and Garter kits out there, so people can make their own.

hahahaha, i know arent they UGLY! and quite pricey too. My homecoming i wore mine for about 10 minutes then took it off.

I'm from tx! And I disnt even understand it either it was until my senior year and that I got one from my hubby and it was cute I thought it was rather big and had a cute stuffed dog in the middle and also his name and mine name and my class year and our school colors I wore it to the homecoming parade and carried it around school then I was to wear it to the homecOming game but we went out to eat and a movie and I didn't go to the dance either so it is more of my boyfriend loves me this much kind of thing or a look how many I got from my admirers lol but yeah I guess a status thing like others have said
Im 21 now and it's hanging in my closet I chose to keep it cuz it's my kne and only an reminds me of the newlywed feeling lil

Our school only wear them to the Game night and carnival on the Friday, not at the dance on the Saturday, so dresses and new outfits will be seen without any problem. I'm still trying to understand the whole thing myself being from Scotland. Although I do get a kick out of it all. If the kids like it why not. I actually made mine myself, turned out really well, is time consuming but does cost less than to buy, although you could keep going and going and spending and spending.

Never heard of mums until afamily member moved to Texas. Another reason I'm so glad I'm from Massachusetts!

To each his/her own, I guess...

Some American customs are weird. It definitely is a status symbol. I made one and it cost me about $40 in materials. I am a cheap Mom. I have sanded holes in jeans so I would not have to spend $100 on holey jeans. I find $200 appalling. Maybe on a dress but not on something that is eventually going to gather dust in a box in the attic. Good luck understanding us. We like to be over the top!

Yes, it is hard for us non-Texans to understand but I am thankful that we saved that expense by living outside of Texas when our kids where in high school. I am way too practical. I feel badly for the girls who will have their lack of status on display at this time of year because they won't have one of the biggest and best. Some girls are so fragile at this age.

On a funny note, imagine my surprise as a brand new teacher (who had just moved to Texas) when I was presented with a huge mum contraption from the school board. I had to wear it to the game and the dance as a chaperone. But at least my husband didn't have to buy one for me.

hahahaha! so true! But its tradition. I have not looked up define homecomming mums yet but I will this after noon. Its just as important as the dress, hair, nails or anything else. I was under the impression that the guy made the mum for the girl. But it might just be the bootinerr (spelling ??) that the girl gives the boy. The guy usually wears it on there arm and its a smaller tacky flower with ribbons only about a foot long. Back in my day they did not have flashing lights but all the other sounds about right. BTW I called my first mother in law "mum! " we had english friends and there little ones said it and we adored it !

It's a Texas thing!
And those mums are more than $5.00! Closer to $60-75 as tricked out as you are describing.
It is also a bit of a status item. Whose date bought the biggest mum? Did your boyfriend put both your names on the ribbons?
The girls wear them long enough to have their pictures taken then leave them in the car. Then they come home and hang them in their rooms.
Not sure why it is such a big thing here but I am a born and raised Texan and I have high school pics of my mums-equally gaudy. And that was 35 years ago!
My 16 year old came down last night talking dresses and mums... Let the fun begin!

So glad you asked this because I am not originally from Texas and couldn't understand them. So they are status symbols, so if you are preppy and rich you get to wear cheap plastic stuff? Oh I hope my daughter doesn't want to wear this. Of course, she just asked me if she could get some really big glasses like the ones from the 80's. NOOO not the 80's again.

This is apparently a Texas thing, because where I came from in football crazy Tennessee you just got an actual flower with a couple of ribbons on it. If you think hers is over the top, go into Michaels or Hobby Lobby and get a look at some of their more elaborate efforts. There is a group of moms at my kids' old high school who make them and sell them as a fundraiser. I too find them ugly, but it isn't my tradition!

Culture can be both entertaining and a curiosity all at the same time, eh? We reside in Texas; however, I'm not from Texas. When my son is old enough to ask a gal to homecoming, I hope they will have a newer (read that "different") custom by then. One far less 'branding' or dividing the rich and priviledged from those not so well-to-do. If not, and my son really wants to participate to the fullest extent, he can use his money to go get one or to make one.

They did it at my high school in Arkansas. I didn't wear one. I thought they were hideous!

I'm not sure about their importance either. We never had them at our school nor in college (that I remember) but I know we never had them in Jr. High nor in high school. It'd be interesting to see the replies here.

Oh my! I had know idea what you were talking about, never heard of a Homecoming Mum in my life. Just googled it and I have to say this would never go over well where I'm from. Traditions can be funny things.
I do love my ribbon (to wrap gifts in ;) so I can see how those really big ones would cost a lot in materials alone. With 2 daughters thank God I don't have to worry about the cost of a homecoming Mum just the homecoming dress!

Allison, when I read your question about the homecoming mum, I too thought it had to do with actually welcoming home your mother from a long trip, or she being at the hospital. Then I read the other moms messages and still not quite sure I understood it. Thanks to Kristina, I finally got the message reading about it on the website. I never new such a thing existed. I need to tour the U.S. and see the traditions of different states.
Interesting...

This totally cracked me up!! I grew up military and lived lots of places in the US, but never heard of such a crazy thing. My senior year I moved to central Texas. Wholly cow! Was I shocked by the whole homecoming mum thing. It is clearly a crazy tradition that has gotten waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy out of hand. And yes, if the kids are spending $100+ on them, it seriously needs to be reigned in! But I know some of the kids/moms make their own and that is kind of fun. In general, I think it is wacky and ridiculous. But like many traditions, it is fun for those involved and can be totally harmless. The unfortunate side of it though, is that, like everything else in school (especially high school) it has become a status symbol. The most popular kids or the richest kids have the "best" ones and everyone else has to try and keep up or feel inferior. But like I said, that's everything in high school. Yes, I agree they are the ugliest, most hysterical thing I've ever seen. But hey, who cares! The kids love it.

Oh, and at my school, we wore them all day on Friday at school and then many people wore them to the game that night. With dress codes and all, a lot of schools may have gotten away from wearing them to school. I don't live there anymore, so I'm not sure what the kids from my high school do these days.

I am from NY city and I only know about these from a friends daughter. I understand they are tradition but I just don't get covering up a beautiful (expensive) dress with something like that. It doesn't seem practical.