I Feel like I'm Never Caught up...what Am I Missing?

I am always behind things and just have learned to sigh and let it go a little. Sorry I don't have more help, but I just don't know if it's possible to be caught up when the kids are this age. Read this - you might feel better.

http://momastery.com/blog/?s=don%27t+carpe+diem&searc...=

Ok, some things come to mind right away. One that I learned regarding housework is take the one thing that is stressing you most and do that thing. The next chance you get do the same. What I do with toy mess is called a lock and key. (not really locked, but you can if you want). I organize (when I have some extra energy and time) and put up or away most toys. I let them keep one or two that they like most. Then, like the library, they have to put one back to get another. It's good because they feel like it's something new. Also, I just went to the Thrift store with a huge load of stuff just to thin things out and share my wealth. I am very stressed with clutter for some reason, so this helps me a lot. I also, although expensive, use paper plates some nights. They won't be little forever and I can use plates on a day that is more convenient. I don't fret about semi-homemade meals either. I just used Ore Ida microwave steam mashed potatoes that I had to add milk and butter to and they were delicious. If it helps me to be lessed stressed, they benefit.
Blessings,
M.

What other moms stay on top of things? Are you kidding? You are having a case of the "greeners". Any mom that stays on top of it has help. major help. So to answer your question either hire a mother's helper, a cleaning service or rearrange your standards so your focus is on what is truly important.... time with your kids.

Yes, it will get easier as they get older IF you involve them now. Put in the time with them and give them age appropriate self-care responsibilites of picking up after themselves. Yes, it means that you have to do it with them now (or do it and let them think they are helping by having them in the same room singing the clean up song and maybe put away one block and you do the rest).... but it will pay off later.

One tip that helped me was to do a load of laundry every single day. That kep me (mostly) caught up with laundry. I also never go to bed with dishes in the sink. Beyond that..... it's anybody's guess somedays what may or may not get done.

Good Luck.

Over time you will learn how to make life easier for you. You just described my life for the past 26 years straight. Only, take your kids and times it by 2 or 3 at all times AND add driving to and from 2 schools, 2-3 times per day to take school agers for my daycare parents.

The very best thing I have ever done for myself is to make an investment into Bose headphones and audio books. Sometimes I just have to let the kids play freely with only my eyes on them to keep them from hanging from the chandileurs. When I'm really into a story, I can do a lot of work and do it fairly quick. Sometimes the monontony zaps my energy. This puts the energy back.

Last year I switched to downloading messages online from a pastor or two. That has grown to a long list of pastors I enjoy listening to and their mp3's are free. It's made my entire outlook much brighter.

What you're missing is the reality that other moms do NOT have it all together! The big secret is that most moms have messy homes. There are a few out there who have spotless homes - but they are people who are neat-freaks by nature. I learned a long time ago that I could not stay up until 1 A.M. getting the house back in order after everyone went to sleep - I'd burn out and then what good would I be? So if something's going to give, it's NOT going to be me.
So - my house is usually a mess - the kitchen floor is not as clean as I'd like it to be, some of my Christmas decorations are still up and my dining room table is piled high with clean, folded laundry. But my kids know they have my attention, they are all fed and clothed and we are generally involved in life in a healthy way.
We'll have time to celan the hosue when the kids go to college - and then we'll think back fondly of these times. ;o)

Your not missing anything...it is hard for all of us!

As long as everyone is clean, fed and healthy and the house doesn't look like an episode of Hoarders your doing just fine! Just keep at it little by little. That is what I tell myself :)

~Your kids are old enough (even the baby) to do a 10 minute tidy before bedtime. This is something I have implemented at my house and it helps a TON! Set the kitchen timer for 10 minutes then EVERYONE in the house gets up and picks up for 10 minutes before the kids go to bed. You will be amazed how much better you will feel at night and in the morning to NOT have to wake up to clutter and toys EVERYWHERE!

I'm just glad to know I'm not alone! I feel that way ALL THE TIME.

I'm a single working mom, so I totally understand the whole "not feeling caught up" thing.

Two things: First, if you are an iPhone user (Android might have it too), get the "Homeroutine" app. I love mine. It breaks the house up into zones that you focus on each day, and then a list of daily tasks for morning, noon and evening that you can edit. You just check off as you go along.

Second, prioritize. Some things are NOT all that important. Really they aren't. In the grander scheme of things, if you were (god forbid) hit by a bus tomorrow morning, would you rather have spent your last day spending quality time with your family, or worrying about getting another load of laundry done?

You are so lucky to be able to stay home with your kids and focus on your family. I would love to have that much time with my son -- even if it's singing You Are My Sunshine while I change yet another poopy diaper. Everything you describe above (beyond the kid stuff during the day), for me is crammed into 6-9 p.m. and weekends. My belief is you adapt to what time you have, and learn to let go of things you can't fit in. My house is not clean. We're often out of staples like milk or down to the last roll of toilet paper. My dinners might be quick to prepare but they are not the healthiest. But I take what time I do get with my son and make the most of it. We build giant houses with blocks, play Boggle Junior, make waterfalls in the bathtub, read stories before bed, etc. and I try to be really, truly *present* for as much of that time as I can. I think if you can focus on those moments, you'll figure out how to manage the other stuff so it's "good enough." You just might need to lower your household standards.

I do not sweat the cleaning. honestly. Everyone that knows me understands I have a kid with special needs that LOVES making messes.

My laundry gets done when we need something specific to wear....Other then that we just wear clothes to be covered here.

With three young kids....riding it out is the easiest way to look at things. That way you do not burn yourself out.

I always try and clean maybe one area of the house a day....but am not sad if that does not happen.

Enjoy them when they are young and want to be around you...that is not always going to be the case I hear..............

There is always going to be a time to have the perfectly clean house..like when the kids do not live there anymore:)

First of all, since your 3 year old doesn't nap, you should introduce "quiet time." He doesn't have to sleep, but he has to stay on his bed and play or read quietly. This will help everyone, including him.

I would make out a schedule for your chores. I know every day you have to run through the house and pick up and since you have dogs, vacuum also, but then just schedule one additional task such as clean the bathrooms or dust in the living room, mop the kitchen, or whatever.

Also, get your kids to help. The 3 year old is old enough to help carry folded laundry to the appropriate room. Also, get him/her a little broom and dustpan play set and let him sweep the kitchen. There really are things the kids can do to help and at this age, they want to help. For them, it's fun; it hasn't gotten to be "work" yet. So, make up a schedule, let the kids help where they can, and you rest during the day when it's nap/quiet time. Everyone will benefit from a rejuvenated mommy!

I work full time and go to school full time, plus my husband works 2 hours away, so that basically makes me a single mom during the week. My kids are GREAT at helping. They are only 8, 6, and 4, but they have chores and they help. If they didn't, there is no way we'd get everything done. And still the house is not spotless, but I'd say it looks pretty good for how crazy our lives are.

Your kids are old enough to help too. My kids have loved to vacuum as early as 2!!! And what a huge difference that 5 minutes makes in the look of the house! Laundry, if we don't wash, dry, fold, and put away immediately, we get backed up.

Dinners are planned at least one night ahead of time. The meat goes out and I cook as soon as I get home. So it may be ready as early as 5.

None of your kids need your full attention. Get them involved in doing things by singing counting, numbers, etc - then you can teach them and get things done. That's how I did things. But it was never perfect. It does work for us most days though.

I would make a daily duties schedule for morning and afternoon. It will take a few weeks but it does work. Plan meals for 2 weeks or more if you can and stick to them. Make enough so that you can do left overs or another meal later in the month.

Take all the extra toys you don't want to see daily and put them away. Rotate them so they don't get bored. Have them help you put the toys up when it is time for nap and bed. They will do this as a routine.

Schedule a nap or quiet time for everybody that is home. You all need your batteries recharged especially momma. Also make time to get out of the house for fresh air daily. *This could be your errand time.*

Just stick with it. I did this about 30 plus years ago and was able to get my house caught up and stay on top of it. There was even "me" time in the schedule which I loved.

This too shall pass.

The other S.

PS You post your duties on the frig so that you know what is due for the day and that's it.

I work full time and have four boys ages 4, 9, 12 and 16. My 4 year old has helped out wioth chores since he was not yet 2...feed the dogs, empty the dryer...etc. If I had know when my oldets was 2 what they are capable of! Introduce clean up time to your kids....throw all the loose toys in a laundry basket or something easy like that. As for beign on top of things...prioritize! Some things are just not that important....learn to let go and switch off. I know that's diffifcult...but so worth it!

I think a lot of this has to do with letting go of the unrealistic idea that "O. day" it will all be clean, perfect and orderly. Most likely, it's not! :P
Just get into a routine and keep the flow of laundry, cleaning, cooking and playing going as best you can. Try not to let things "sit". Keep it moving. Once the clothes are folded, put that basket away NOW instead of waiting for 3 or 4 baskets that will take 4 times the time to put away!
Nothing should "break down" for a few days! All should be "flowing" every day. If you can! LOL
Try www.flylady.net.
Good luck!

Updated

I think a lot of this has to do with letting go of the unrealistic idea that "O. day" it will all be clean, perfect and orderly. Most likely, it's not! :P
Just get into a routine and keep the flow of laundry, cleaning, cooking and playing going as best you can. Try not to let things "sit". Keep it moving. Once the clothes are folded, put that basket away NOW instead of waiting for 3 or 4 baskets that will take 4 times the time to put away!
Nothing should "break down" for a few days! All should be "flowing" every day. If you can! LOL
Try www.flylady.net.
Good luck!

Oh, I so feel your pain! I was having this exact conversation with my MIL just yesterday!!! I have three kids, 5, 2 1/2, and 2 months. There is just not enough time in the day to take care of all three and get everything else done that needs to get done. I feel like life continues to come at me and I never catch up. I just do what I can and that is all you can do.

Thanks for asking this. (: Helped me too!
Cyndi

I'm not a SAHM, but my friends who are have expressed the same frustrations. To be candid... as a working mom, I was able to keep up on household things by staying up late, getting up at the crack of dawn to exercise and spending my weekends "catching up" during naps. It wasn't fun.

So... I won't lie... we hired a housekeeper. I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't working full time and commuting an hour each way each day. The ONLY thing I have heard from my friends that "works" is to have a weekly cleaning schedule. Mondays are always bathroom scrubbing, Tuesdays are deep cleaning the floors, Wednesdays are the kitchen, etc. Children who are old enough to go to school are old enough to put their own clothing away!

If you were working outside of your home, you would schedule things into your day so that they get completed. I have one girlfriend who is a great SAHM to two boys, a husband and a dog. She looks at her day just like she did when she was working in the corporate world... what needs to get done this week? Then schedule your day accordingly.

As for the toy explosion- the preschooler is old enough to put them away when he's finished. We have a "rule" in our house... if you are taking something new out, put something else away. He needs reminders, but my house doesn't look like a war zone at the end of the day.

You're not missing anything- we're all always behind, but at the end of the day if everyone is clean, fed, clothes are clean for the next day and lunches are packed AND I have time to actually talk with my husband, we consider it a successful day in our house!

Ride it out. It gets easier as they get older...You have to let stuff go sometimes. I feel your pain

We are a family of five and I was so over doinf laundry everyday and about a year ago our washer broke and I went to laundry,mat and have been going ever since. One day a week its about six bags and it takes about one hour there and as soon as I get home I fold and put way., ive found it also saves money on power water and I use less soap

My kids are now 6, just turned 5 and just turned 3, and I assure you, it does get better. My 5 year old is at preschool 3 a.m.'s a week, and my oldest is in 1st grade so he's gone from 9-4.

I feel like I have it under control now. Especially if once a month my husband takes all 3 kids and I can do a full house deep clean.

I schedule cleaning weekly.
I plan menu's weekly.
Right now my two at home are in the living room listening to the Star Wars theme music on the radio (crazy x-mas gift but they LOVE IT) and I'm cleaning our office/den. I stopped of course for a minute of Mamapedia before we have to go pick up my 1st grader :) My kids are SO GREAT at entertaining themselves. Now that they are older, they can color while I make dinner. Play in the basement playroom while I clean a bathroom... or just go play while I read for a minute!

I'd work on toy control if that is your biggest daily cleaning issue. The kids can help.

I'd make a schedule for your week that includes time for yourself... even if it's just a few minutes. I remember when my kids were younger even 5 minutes once they were all buckled in the car and I got myself together (we have an attached garage) was a little break.

It sounds like you are doing your best.

Good luck!
J.

Get your husband to help more. For example, he can empty the dishwasher before he leaves for work. It takes literally 3 minutes to do (yes, I've timed it). Surely he has three more minutes in his morning than you do. That way, when you are done with breakfast, everything can go right into the dishwasher and you have a clean table and sink to welcome you for the next meal (and the next, and all the snacks and projects).

He can also re-boot the laundry on his way out the door wherever it is in your cycle. If there's a load waiting to go in, there's no reason he can't rotate things out of/into the dryer and drop a load in the washer for you to continue later.

Having routine help with those two small but important and never-ending chores can make a big difference - I work FT and then some and when we did laundry at home (our septic system is currently too stressed) I always popped a load in before work and empty the dishwasher each morning. They take less an 10 minutes total and can make a big difference in your day.

Make no mistake - with that many small kids at home, he has the much better end of the deal and there's no reason why he can't pitch in more and still spend time with your kids. Moms who work outside the home manage this everyday and he should have the same sense of urgency and ability to multi-task at the start and end of the day that you do.

oh hunny we dont stay on top of things... if we do its either the kids are sick and not moving or their is a nanny somewhere lol. i have a wonderful hubby who works so i dont have to and he helps a ton in my house however its still a disaster!! my husband actually came home early one day (about 45 mins after the oldest got home from school) and goes wow hunny the house looks great i burst into tears and said it looks like this every day and by the time you get home its a mess again! he just laughed and told me to calm down he can live with a little mess. if im cleaning one room the kids are messing up another its just the way it goes. dont beat yourself up too much over it. a clean house is a sign of a life not lived i like to say we live life to the fullest around here! lol