My children for the most part are pretty good children, and for the most part, I love them dearly. I'm married to their father, we've been together for almost 8 and a half years. Lately, the kids are doing more and more things that are super stressful, my daughter has taken to pulling off her pullup after she goes down for a nap either after she's had a bowel movement, or takes it off and then has a bowel movement and smearing it everywhere. My husband claims the smell of poop makes him throw up so I'm left to clean it up alone. If he gets super stressed by the kids, he goes off to his bedroom and leaves me to deal with the kids alone. I love my kids, but I'm at the point where I wish I had never met my husband let alone had children. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so stressed right now that I just want to give up and leave. If anyone has any advice for me, I could really use it.
My husband explained why he locked himself in his room, but he still isn't helping me around the house and he's refusing to help me scrub the kids' walls with bleach water because well, his "weak stomach" ... if I could afford my own apartment, and if my name wasn't on the lease we're in now, I'd be gone.
Wow its nice to hear I am not the only one that feels this way.I am on vacation with my husband right now and not once this week has he let me sleep in. All they seem to think about is theirself. I am also over it and why not do it myself I already do. Thanks for your posting.
I am guessing that there is MUCH more going on than what you've mentioned here...
Your daughter is the EXACT same age (2 on april 12) as my 3rd child...
Being a parent of young kids is stressful... But it will pass. Potty training will start and then the diapers will be history.
This winter has been long and everyone is feeling a bit of the gloomies and stresses of the financial system right now.
What do you put her down in? Regular pants and a shirt? Try putting a onesie on her BACKWARDS under her pants. :-) See how that works out. But if she really wants to get the diaper off, she will.
My brother in law is one of those that poopy diapers really do make him gag... I have thankfully been married to a man who changes diapers...
What does hubby do if your out and baby needs changing?
You need to tell hubby that you are stressed out right now! You need a night out. No, you don't have to go clubbing, but you could take your books to the library and just sit in the quiet. Go out to get coffee with a friend. Do the grocery shopping. Laundrymat. etc... The biggest part is NO KIDS! Do that at least once a week. Hubby can not read your mind so tell him, "Honey, on which night this week can I ....... , ? (ask sweetly, not like your threatening him) Explain to him that you really just need some mommy time.
Everyone has their own stresses right now. Everyone is worrying about finances. And for some reason guys tend to feel this the most.
In a few weeks the winter will break and we will be able to turn our kids loose outside... And the sun shine will brighten all of our spirits.
It does sound like you are depressed a bit. Many do not know this but postpartum can get you even 2 years after baby is born... If you do feel depressed it could also be a seasonal thing. (need sunlight... is that an excuse to go to the tanning boothe?) If it continues or worsens definently see a dr about it.
Good luck!
Hi H.,
I think a lot of moms out there feel the way you do, so first of all, know that you aren't alone. I see that you're a student at EMU. I am sure they offer some sort of counseling service. Let your husband know that this is a priority for you and your health (after putting everyone ELSE first - including HIM - after all these years) and that you need to see a counselor or doctor. You sound depressed. Ideally your husband can come for counseling with you, but if he won't or can't, you should see someone yourself. If you have health insurance, make an appointment with your regular doc. Unfortunately I don't think there are any magic words you can say to your husband to get him to wake up and change.
My daughter has a history of removing the dirty diaper, too. All I can do is check on her CONSTANTLY, until she's definitely asleep!
Best of luck to you. Hang in there.
A.
You have a full plate, and I really feel for you. The desire to get in the car and drive and drive with no destination in mind was a common daydream of mine when my 3rd child was around 2. That and having my own apartment that could be decorated and kept clean for longer than an hour at a time. Another post mentioned the season and unusual stress of our economy and I agree its tough times. I'm also sure there's more to your story, but if you don't ask for what you need, you won't get it. My husband is a gem, but I often bristle at the fact that when he needs to disappear, he does, but I have to always be accountable. I don't know why that is. If the real issue is your husband not doing his share, ask him to do specific tasks. If its a need to be by yourself, ask for that. (If he doesn't want to stay with them, that's not a good sign, but at the least he should make the sitter arrangements) If you need time together w/o kids, make that happen. But don't let it all stay in your head hoping he'll get it, because he probably won't. I always try to ask for help rather than demand anything from my husband. Men have a service gene or something and they always want to fix things, yet a non-nag factor that triggers fight or flight. Good luck. The diaper things sounds awful! I don't know what to say except it sounds like she's ready to train. A potty chair in the crib? Time for a toddler bed? Ask for her help, too. Good luck and hang in!!
I just wanted to let you know your not alone!! i feel the excat same way!thanks for your post!
