I Dont Know What to Do! - Osgood,IN

Updated on December 15, 2010
S.S. asks from Osgood, IN
13 answers

my 16-mnth old has always been very vocal, and enjoys making noise, but lately he has been screaming and throwing tantrums about everything. for example he will point to something on the counter (last time it was the pizza cutter) and if i tell him no he rolls around screaming and yelling. he wants to be held while i am making dinner and if i put him down for one second he runs over grabbing my legs screaming mama mama. he is also hitting alot when he doesnt get his way and sometimes he is throwing tantrums and i don't know why! I am a SAHM and because of the weather latley we have been stuck inside the house. I feel like i am going crazy. he has only started doing this the past week, I feel like my little angel has turned into a monster. he does communicate pretty well. he points to what he wants can say yes and no (and done when he is finished eating) he can also ask for his favorite things (like nana for banana and pooh for his favorite stuffed animal) so i dont think it is a communication problem. he gets enough sleep. he sleeps 12-13hrs at night and takes a 2 hr nap during the day, but i dont know what to do for him and i am getting very frustrated.

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So What Happened?

thanks for the advise, I have already tried these things i think this is why i am so frustrated. he has his own cabinet with plastic bowls pitchers and he plays with all my wooden spoons and plastic ones. but that doesnt satisfy him anymore. plus he is good at biting things. he bit a chunk out of my spatula and one of these thick plastic hangers when he was "helping" me do laundry

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

It's normal. Why is he doing it? Because he's 16 months old - that's what they do!

Try to be as calm as possible and ignore the tantrums. Every time you give him added attention to the negative behavior he learns that the behavior he exhibits will get him what he wants - and you certainly don't want him to resort to screaming, throwing, hitting, tantruming every time he doesn't get his way right?

Hang in there and try to be patient. This, too, shall pass.

3 moms found this helpful

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Perhaps what you could do is clear out a lower cabinet space and put in some plastic bowls and a wooden spoon which is away from the stove and frig if possible. He can go there while you make dinner and play safely and be near you. I did this for my daughter and she had the best time ever being near mom and being safe at the same time.

This too shall pass.

The other S.

2 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Oh, isn't parenting so exhausting!?! Hang in there! Creating a structured schedule can help too, and provided some activities as well. For example, sit him down for a little cheerios snack as you prepare dinner, or blocks when you need to use the restroom.

Dr. Sears has TONS more advice for this :)

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

for the specifics (Like tantrums and hitting and such), scroll down to 'Bothersome Behavior":

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D.D.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like he is going through the terrible 2's a little early. He is probably going thru a phase. I would wait and see what happens.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I found that putting my daughter in her high chair while I was in the kitchen helped. It kept her in one place and kept her out of the way. You can try it, give him some toys, put on some music. Distraction is a good idea, after a while you might just have to get on his level and tell him in your upset voice to stop fussing. I had to do that for my daughter at on point. I got on my knees on her level and took her arm to make her face me and told her to stop, that she was no longer allowed to pitch fits that I wasn't going to allow it any more. It shocked her, but she got the idea that I was tired of it and that it wasn't going to work any more.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

H.B.

answers from Modesto on

Set him up with something to do before you get involved in what you have to do. He's just doing a phaze right now that hopefully will be short lived. It's part of the separation anxiety thing along with him wanting some control. It's normal, you just have to outsmart him at his own game :)

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

He wants to tell you so much and you just can't understand, so he is getting frustrated! What I did was get down on the level with my son and let him know that I know he is frustrated because he can't have the pizza cutter, but it is sharp and dangerous and not a toy. How about this wooden spoon? For the holding. I would also explain to him, but had to let him cry too.

Sorry, but at least it is a phase.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

The next time he points to the pizza cutter and for his safety you know it will hurt him since he doesn't know the danger of it, let him cry..He learns here that he cannot get everything he wants. If he turns around and points for the spoon, you don't have to say no, give it to him, because that won't hurt him, he gets to be happy "helping mommy make pizza" and no tantrum.

He wants you to lift him up because you are standing tall and he wants to be a part of what you are doing and you won't let him. In his tiny eyes, he can do it and mommy wont let him, so he throws a fit. Give and take. Pull up a sturdy chair let him watch you...give him a bit of satisfaction, and tantrums will cease. He might actually amaze you that from watching you he can actually help.

He is hitting alot because he is frustrated. Mommy isn't letting him do or be a part of anything, so he communicates his anger by hitting, throwing fits, etc. As M., you have to determine what he can help with and what is off limits. He just needs a bit of independence, that's it. He just cannot say it out loud.

He senses your frustration too. He is not a monster. Focus on grooming him to be independent by letting him feel like he is in control every once in a while, without compromising his safety, health and discipline. Good luck.

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

feed him its not a communication problem and not a tired problem so feed him.

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S.O.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I know how you feel. My son is two and he has started to have terrible tantrums (I wrote about it on here the other day).
One thing I did to occupy my son while I'm making dinner is introduce him to playdough. I'm not sure if your son puts things in his mouth but my son does really well with it. I would stick him in his highchair and pull it close to me in the kitchen, then while I am making dinner, he can see me, I can talk to him, and I can watch him with the playdough. He also likes paint, crayons, and stamps. It usually means I have an additional mess to clean up, but if he's happy and I can get dinner ready I don't mind.
Now my son likes to watch a show on TV while I cook. If this doesn't occupy him then I revert to the playdough.

Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Columbus on

My daughter did the same thing...still does a little but it's getting better. She is now 18 months. I finally just started ignoring her when she over-reacted. Now she is learning that when she throws a tantrum, I'm not going to respond to her, which defeats the purpose of throwing the tantrum. It's a long process, but I am seeing results. I use to react to them and pictured myself in a few years with a 5 year old throwing themselves on the ground everytime they didn't get their way.(AHHH)..I had to change my habits to benefit her and teach her how to control her feelings. Good luck.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S., my 2 yr old has been doing the same type of thing almost his entire life :) I just think he's a challenging child with a strong will, but I don't know. He is also very vocal, he can carry on a pretty good conversation, and he communicates fairly clearly what he wants. But a lot of times he justs throws himself on the floor screaming (either if he can't have what he wants or for seemingly no reason). I agree with the other moms, hopefully it's a short-lived phase, hang in there!

J.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Hahaha I am laughing because you could have written this about my 16 month old son as well! He wants to play with things that are not safe (toothpicks, medicine bottle, spray bottles, etc) and gets so upset and cries and throws himself down onto the floor when I do not allow him to! I tell him in a soft calm voice I am sorry he feels that way and lets him throw his tantrum. Once he's done, I am very happy and talkative and try to get him engaged in something else. When he hits or tries to bite (or does something I tell him not to), I tell him once no then if he continues, I remove him from the situation - moving him to another room or to another part of the house and I walk away. That way he's removed so he can't do it but I'm not giving him attention. I don't think your son is a monster - he's just trying to assert his individuality!!!

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