Hiya Mamas! I have had a REALLY BAD month. I had considered having a little pity party complete with foil hats and noise-makers, but that seems a little pointless and a good laugh seems like a lot more fun!
How was my month so bad?
1. Exactly 5 weeks ago today I had a stroke. A little one- a TIA- but a stroke nonetheless. I am 29. I have a 2 ½ year old and a 2 ½ month old.
2. For several days thereafter, I was too dizzy and disoriented to make it to the bathroom in the hospital a few feet away- hence the lovely catheter and from the catheter, I contracted a urinary tract infection.
3. Because of all the medications I was taking, I couldn’t nurse my 6 week old and I had to pump and dump for 3 ½ weeks.
4. I was not able to see my toddler or my 6 week old for over a week- ACH pure torture!!!
5. Once I moved into the rehab facility, my urinary tract infection flared up and I ran a 103.8 degree fever which made me lose out on 3 physical therapy sessions- so frustrating!
6. Even after I started to get my bearings back, EVERY time I had to use the bathroom or take a shower I needed to call for someone to baby-sit me. Lots of fun. NO modesty left.:)
7. The day before I was released from rehab my house tried to burn itself down with an ancient electrical box- luckily the Hubbs was home at the time and turned off the electric before anything could actually be damaged. Whew! Close call!
8. Because of the trauma of the stroke my lochia came back. Wonderful.
9. The blood tests from the hospital came back positive for acute Lyme’s Disease. For which I had to have 2 weeks of IV antibiotics.
10. Isn’t that enough? See why I could use a laugh?
On a more positive note,
1. I am off all meds that would keep me from breastfeeding and am back at it. My little one is doing well going back to the breast- yay!
2. I haven’t had to use a walker or a shower chair for about 3 weeks now- yay!
3. I have been able to take care of my kids and home without help for the past 4 days in a row- yay!
4. The Hubbs took me driving today for the first time- a little shaky. That will take a little more time- but progress! Yay!
5. The baby learned to smile while I was gone- so wonderful to see it now! He is sooooo dreamy!
6. Every day is better.
So, ladies, (and any gentlemen who use this site)can you please help me celebrate my progress by sending me some funny? Riley- I know you are out there- tell me something good! And anybody else with the gift of gab or a good joke or a humorous anecdote! Thanks so much! Have a great night!
Hey everybody! Thank you for all your love sent my way! I got so much more than I asked for- I really don't think I'm all that inspiring- but it feels good to be told that I am! Thanks! And o my goodness, you are alll funny ladies! I love the moments you have with your kids- and Akward Photos? I am still laughing! I stayed up WAY too late last night looking at them!
Thanks so much!
Jackie
PeopleOfWalmart.com
OMG, there are some photos there that almost make me wet my pants I'm laughing so hard!
BTW I think you're an amazingly strong woman! I would totally have had a breakdown at some point in there! You go girl!!
Okay, You are now officially my hero!
awkwardfamilyphotos.com gets me laughing! There's always something that strikes a chord for someone!
damnyouautocorrect.com
ok, the other day I was looking for my 4 year old, I finally decided to check the bathroom, even though it was really quiet in there. I open the door and find him on the throne, pants around his ankles with a highlights magazine on his lap that he is looking at very intently. He hears me, looks up and goes 'what?'....hahahahahahaha took every ounce of strength I had not to bust a gut on that one! Hope that gave you a smile, you are so freakin' awesome! I mean I thought about sending you some good Chuck Norris humor, but you make Chuck look like a freakin' sissy!!! Go you and wish you a super speedy rest of your recovery. A good attitude is the best medicine so I think you are doing great!
Edie got me thinking about farting. I have posted this here before and I will do it again. Just thinking about this video cracks me up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xFaJUZRkQM
Bless your heart Momma! You are a strong lady!!
You are such an inspiration to us all! Wow! I hope your husband realizes how truly remarkable you are!
Okay, a few years ago my daughter came home all excited. She came and said "Mom, I heard this new band on the radio and I know you will love them". I said "really, do you remember the name of the band"? She said "yes, they are call Aerosmith"!
I started to laugh and said, yep I have heard of them!
I second the People of Walmart. It's hilarious!
Also, if you can find The Sarah Silverman show on Netflix, it's a riot!
God bless you, and stay strong as you continue to recover. Better days are ahead!
i see my go-tos, peopleofwalmart and awkwardfamilyphotos have already been suggested. so i just send you a big virtual hug for dealing with that impossible set of circumstances with such grace!
khairete
S.
Hopefully you are an animal lover...although pretty much everyone has seen this, I open it frequently to make me feel good. You just gotta love the poor guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
when you have time and are bored you can continue to watch some videos that are funny.
Then you can say "hey, I am alive and can be here for my kids" (sucks, but it is the positive side)
then eat chocolate!
prayers to you....you are amazing & a shining example for all of us!
So here's today's funny: I am overweight, but do not dress in clingy clothes. I tend to pick tents over sausage casings. :) I make sure I am always presentable during my daycare hours. Today the almost 5yo girl said, "wow. You're wearing black today. I don't see your belly. Black hides it".
OMG! Just slap me silly! I cannot believe she said that! I immediately called my best friend & shared the story with her so she could discuss it 2nite at Weight Watchers. :)
WOW. YOU. ARE. A-MAZ-ING. :)
If you like animals (dogs in particular) you will love this. You've probably seen it already (I think almost everyone has)... but it is always good for a chuckle and a smile around my house. It's the German Shepherd and the food tease.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
And if you have a bit of patience, the following video is very cute, and funny. But you have to give it a minute to get into it... It's Marcel the Shell, With Shoes On. My 10 yr old showed it to me. LOVE it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF9-sEbqDvU
Oh.. and Marcel the Shell, With Shoes On, Two
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta9K22D0o5Q&feature=ch...
So glad that you are feeling better!
Hmmm... Well, I learned today that legos multiply like mice. We bought my son a box of 100 legos. That's it. Never bought any more. Never let anyone else give me anymore. 100 legos is plenty. So today, I'm packing up all his toys for the big move tomorrow and I swear to god I have at least 300 legos packed into boxes. How is that possible?!
passiveaggressivenotes.com
Engrish.com
Kuddos to you! I wish more people in this world had your attitude!
I'm usually pretty funny (no, really) but apparently not on command. lol. I was going to quote some song lyrics that would make you laugh but you're only 29 and I'm.... not.... so you probably wouldn't recognize them. Soooo, the only thing I can think of now is Ellen. Watching Ellen always puts me in a good mood. Oh! Oh! And those auto correct text messages make me laugh out loud. Literally. I googled and found this link but there are tons. http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/category/best-of-dyac/
You are going to get through all this, especially with your positive attitude!
Hope this makes you giggle:
The other morning we were running late as usual. I was trying to pack my kids 4 yo girl and 8 yo boy into the car and head to school. Out of nowhere my son says to me, "mommy, what's a virgin?" all I could think was NOT now, it is TOO early for this! So I kind of ignored him. He kept on with the question so I finally said, "virgins are young people that haven't been married yet..". Mind you he goes to catholic school so the last thing i need is for him to be going around calling himself and others a virgin!
Then he starts singing "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time!" I had to use every ounce of control I had in me to not laugh. I just let it go, I didn't want to tangle the web anymore. And thanks, Madonna, wherever you are.
so i read your post earlier this morning, and other than being impressed by your fortitude (and i really hope you realize how impressively strong and capable you are) i didn't have anything to add. but my son just presented me with this gem (hope you find it as funny as i did)...
we have been "rhyming" lately. it's hit and miss. sometimes he gets a good one, sometimes he just gets the same vowel sound "white" and "why" for example. so when he says to me all proud of himself, "mommy! i know a bad word that rhymes with PUNK!" i panicked a little inside. don't know why i didn't say, "WELL DON'T SAY IT!" but instead my dumb self says, "um what's that son?" and he says...
PUNK!!!
hahahaha!! yes son...great rhyming. and punk is a very bad word lol.
then ten minutes later he rhymes "pitching" and "bitching" and doesn't even bat an eye. HOLD ON SON......
lol....!!!
