I Can't Get Him to Sleep Through the Night

I have a baby boy and he will be 10 months on the 18th of this month. He used to sleep through the night until he started teething. Then he woke every night pretty much. But when he isnt teething he doesnt wake up. I am just ready for all of his teeth to be out already! ha ha Anyway I do let him cry it out sometimes and he goes back to sleep. Otherwise I just feed him because he eats so much in the middle of the night even though I "top him off" before he goes to bed. I dont recommend putting cereal in his bottle though. I saw a few mothers say that on here and per my pedi and many books etc that can be a major choking hazard. I wish you luck.

My daughter did the same thing. You have to let them cry it out. It is more fun to hang out with you than to sleep by himself.

Sometimes they perhaps still need to eat but if not try these GREAT books:

The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
Baby Wise
Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child

They really have wonderful advice on lots of things.
Best,
A.

When I took my son to his 2 month checkup, the doctor asked about middle of the night. He was eating around 11 PM, 3 AM, and 5 or 6 AM. She suggested that he was probably just waking up out of habit for the 3 AM feeding. He and I both had a hard time staying awake! She told me to give him paci and/or try to hold him for a few minutes and put him back down. I gave him his paci for a few nights around 3 and then he stopped waking up. This is even working great when he wakes up at 5. Often he'll go back to sleep for a few hours. He's almost 4 months old now. Granted, he is still in my room in a pack'n play so I have easy access to get the paci in.

He is breastfed still so I don't think that would have been your problem. I also HIGHLY recommend the book On Becoming Babywise. Whether, I'm just blessed with a good sleeper or it is because I'm using this book, I don't know but I'll take it. Good luck!!!!

Hi R.,

I have read your responses so far and there seems to be some good advice.

My son did the same thing, I bf him untill about 9 months. He was my second child too.
I put a warm hot water bottle wrapped in a towel right next to him as he fell asleep. I would add a blanket if it was cool.2007 only 13 days of not raining by the time he was 9 months. I also gave him a pacifier if he did wake-up(babies can be picky both my kids only liked one kind and it was not the same). If your son would fall asleep while nursing then he is used to the warmth of your body.

Something I read in Parenting Magazine, said that babies expect things to be the same when they wake as when they went to sleep. So try to get him into his bed before he actually is asleep then he will not be frightened to wake-up in his own bed or without you there. The hot water bottle just helped the transition from me to the bed alone. I used it about a week.

Whatever you do choose keep with it,
Hope this helps,

I highly suggest Babywise by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam. My daughter (still breastfed) is almost four months and sleeps about 9 1/2 hours straight at night and she still takes naps during the day. She started sleeping through the night around 7-8 weeks old. They (Babywise) even have a section for starting late. I tried this method because two other friends recommended it...their breastfed children slept through the night early on as well. Best of luck!

Definitely check out some books on this topic. You don't say about how frequently he eats during the day. If he is eating regularly during the day, this should make it easier for him to go longer at night.

Will he take a pacifier? Does he really want food or is he just crying out for some cuddle time or something to suck on? With the amount of times you say he is waking, I'd be surprised if he is hungry each time. Is he kicking off his cover and cold? Maybe a sleep sack would help... or vice versa. Is he soggy? Maybe a diaper doubler or some fleece to keep the moisture away from his skin would help him sleep better. See if you can find the cause behind the crying before letting him cry it out as others have suggested. You may have tried some of these things already, but you know kids get bothered by some of the strangest things. I know you must be tired if you have been the one getting up to help him.

Can you get a nap during the day a few times this week? Maybe husband or family member can help? It's hard to use your deductive mommy detective skills when you are cross-eyed exhausted.

Also, Friday night (or whenever husband's weekend is) have him give it a try for two nights. Dad's have to work harder to communicate and figure out baby, but sometimes that can be an advantage. My hubby thinks of stuff I wouldn't have even considered. If Dad gives it a try and finds out he needs a good burp or something simple, don't be upset or jealous. He will feel like super Dad and you will know what is needed for peaceful nights again.

I don't understand why anyone would say your breastfed your son "so long" that it's causing sleep problems. I BF my daughter until 13 months and might have gone longer had I not had to go to work full-time. Never feel guilty for the time you invested breast feeding your son. For shame on those people for trying to make you feel awful for doing the best thing for your son.

I've been reading that adding cereal to the bottle has some risks and doesn't actually help a baby sleep longer. Again with the frequency of his wakening, he doesn't sound truly hungry...

Good luck. Let me know if you need other ideas. I can run to the library (well, unless baby #2 decides to arrive that day.)

First of all, I'd like to caution you against the advice to use Ezzo's Babywise techniques. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a warning that Ezzo's methods are potentially harmful to babies' health. You can learn more about the Babywise controversy here: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/08/cov_06feature.html

I'd also like to agree with what some others have said. Keep in mind that with babies, 5 consecutive hours of sleep is considered "sleeping through the night". It's totally normal (although exhausting for us parents) for babies to not be sleeping through the night yet at 9 months. You're not doing anything wrong, and there's nothing wrong with your baby.

Whenever my son was waking up frequently when he was an infant and I was thoroughly exhausted and frustrated, something someone told me that brought me comfort was this... In the grand scheme of things, they're babies for such a short time. This will pass before you know it - you just have to hang in there! Good luck, mama.

R.,

There is a book, Baby Wise, which our daughter has raised our 3 yr old grandson by, which I was terribly against in the beginning, but he is about the best baby, well adjusted, happy, in the world. My husbands' sister read it after being blessed with her grandson as a newborn also, and she definately believes in it. You may not believe in everything the book says, but I think it can help you in many ways, including the sleeping problem.

I disagree that it's because you breast fed for so long. I breastfed my daughter until she was 1 and my son until he was 10 months and that had nothing to do with them sleeping through the night by 9 months old.

I think it's more of a habit that he gets up and then habit to eat/suck to go back to sleep. Does he use a pacifier? How does he go to sleep when you put him down for the night? If you are rocking, singing, feeding him to sleep, that's how he is going to want to try to go back to sleep if he wakes up.

Have you tried a bedtime routine? Bath, book, prayers, bed? Then if he wakes up, give him a few minutes to put himself back to sleep. If he gets mad and starts crying, go in and comfort him, but no bottle. It's hard, but you need to find some method that works for you. My daugher was my bad sleeper...1st baby! I finally would go in and pat her, but not talk. If she was really upset, I'd rock her a bit and then put her back in the crib and pat her. If she kept getting up, I left the room. If she stayed laying down, I stayed in the room and patted her. It took a while, but she finally got it. I also tried to wait when she first woke up to make sure she even needed help to go back to sleep. After a while, she was doing good.

If you are worried that he's actually hungry, you can decide to give him 1 bottle at night for a while, but no more. Then you can make the bottle less and less, then just water, then nothing and see if that helps. Certainly talk to your peditrician to make sure he's growing fine and doesn't "need" the nurishment at night, but I suspect it's more of a comfort/habit thing.

Good luck! :)

Healthy Sleep Habits; Happy Child
by Dr Marc Weissbluth

When my son did that, I "guided" him to a full night of sleep by waiting 10-20 minutes before going to him, and gradually feeding him less and less when I did go to him. He now sleeps 11-12 hours a night. Rarely (usually when teething) he will wake up at night now, and I'll wait 10-20 minutes (depending on whether he's screaming or sounds like he might go back to sleep), and if he doesn't go back to sleep, I'll go up briefly, rub his back without picking him up until he's calm, and then leave while he's still awake (which may prompt more crying, but then he goes to sleep on his own after a few minutes). It may be hard for a week or two, but it will be worth it ... for both of you. Good luck!

When we tried to "wean" my son from night feedings my husband helped me. He'd go into his room and rock him back to sleep. After a bit he was able to get himself back to sleep on his own and eventually quit waking up during the night.

I had the same problem with my daughter. She was actually hungry - amazon baby - grew very quickly! We started to add cereal back into her bottle at night and that helped a lot. She is almost two (and people are going to be appalled when they read this), but I still give her a 10 pm bottle with goat milk and cereal. Her pediatrician said she just isn't getting enough calories without it - and I'm ill, so I need to sleep the rest of the night. It has worked so well.
Hang in there, I know how tough this is - lack of sleep can affect every area of your life.
Father, I pray that this sweet baby would sleep through the night so R. can get the sleep she needs as well. I ask in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

Enjoy it. You are not guarenteed anytime with anyone.

I hate to say it but at 12 months my daughter got even worse (she was similar at 9 months)- waking 5-9 times a night or just refusing to sleep altogether. I finally had to let her cry it out (I tried the no cry methods and got no where). My mom came and helped- it only took about 1 hour and (with the exception of some teething nights) she has slept through the night since. I wish I had tried that about 6 months earlier- imagine the sleep I would have had! I think what made it work so fast was that it was my mom- not me- going to her. When she realized mommy wasn't coming back after the initial goodnight, and grandma wasn't picking her up- she went to sleep.

Don't get me wrong- it was SO hard to do- but she is healthier and more rested for it, and so am I.

I don't have much advice, but just some kind words. I have 2 sets of twins and I was never able to get them to sleep through the night until they were almost 2 years old. They would wake during the night and they were STARVING; they sucked down milk like they had not eaten for days. Dr told me to try watering it down; that just increased the number of times they would wake. Just never worked out for me. Good luck; learn to sleep while holding the baby etc.

I agree with Kaci C as far as letting them CIO. It's mean and they need you for a reason.

My son did not sleep through the night until he was 12 months. Before that he nursed on and off through out the night.

Every child is different. You can't force them to sleep through the night, even with putting oatmeal in their bottle. I mean, heck, I don't always sleep through the night. Even as I child I would wake up.

Also, take into consideration that some doctors consider sleeping through the night as 5 consecutive hours of not waking.

R.,

My daughter was doing the same thing and still hadn't slept through the night by 8 months! I tried all the other things you've been reading but she seemed to be starving in the middle of the night and would gulp the bottle down. I finally made a plan through advice I read in "What to Expect the First Year". For 3 nights I diluted her bottle 3/4 formula, 1/4 water, then 1/2 and 1/2 for 3 days, then 3/4 water, 1/4 formula, then full water, etc. The book said she'd stop getting up for just water and she did! I had to reset her hunger cues. After that, when she started waking up again and I KNEW she wasn't needing a bottle anymore, I let her cry it out and used the pacifier. I also made sure there were no nightlights and she had an air purifier for white noise. I know it's exhausting. Good luck!

It's possible he's wanting some comfort and time with you. Breastfeeding does provide nutrition, but a bottle and food don't replace the physical attachment and comfort that nursing provides. So, have you kept the same routine for feeding him a bottle that you did during nursing or is he holding his own bottle. Also, with an older child, one is often very busy so forget that a little one still needs alot of one on one attention from mom. So, in my mind this is the "why" of your situation.

As to "how" you can improve, the water at nite is a good idea PROVIDED he is getting enough formula during the day. Until a baby is one, breastmilk or formula is their primary food. So, he should be fed formula BEFORE every meal and before naps/bedtime. Your pediatrician should be able to provide with a range for the volume that's appropriate at this age. Also, don't give him too much other liquids as perhaps that's displacing the formula so he's not consuming as much as he needs to.

And, you also need to consider that he's allergic to the formula and thus has GI distress at nite. That may be why he's waking up so much - for comfort. So, you should also talk to your pediatrician about switching formulas. His GI system was not at all stressed while on breastmilk, but human babies GI systems aren't really designed for cow's milk and soy is equally as allergenic.

Hi R.,

I have three daughters, 4, 2 and 10 months. All slept through the night by 9 months and all were breastfed. I'm not bragging, just want you to know that it can be done. My secret weapon was the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.
I don't believe that your sleep issue has anything to do with feeding or eating. What time does your son go to bed? What about naps? Putting your child (according to this book) to bed later or keeping them up through a nap may actually be making your problem worse.

You'll get there. I promise. Best of luck to you!
M.

Hello!
How many naps is your 9 month old getting? I would try starting around 6pm each night-maybe when you are cooking dinner- to place your 9 month old in a excersaucer- before and after dinner. ANYTHING to keep him awake and wear himself out so when he does go to sleep-he is going to stay asleep!

Just a thought.
Good luck!

Breastfeeding did not cause this!!
It is a habit for him to get up in the middle of the night. Offer him water instead of milk or formula or the breast. It won't take many nights for him to decide that water is not getting up for. You are still meeting his needs emotionally, but water is just not worth it. Don't talk to him too much, make this a "purely functional" feeding time. If he is not getting lots of action or formula, he will not want to keep getting up.

Your 9 month old is not hungry when he wakes up throughout the night. He is just used to getting fed so often. It is your responsibility to cut off his middle-of-the-night feedings. Make sure he eats a good dinner before bedtime (and you said he does, so that is good). Give him a bottle right before you put him down (and I think you do), and then that is IT until morning (when I say morning, I mean 6:45 or later). When he wakes up in the middle of the night to feed, just give him a loving pat on his head and stick a binky in his mouth (if he'll take one). He is more than old enough for you to practice "tough love." Let him cry it out. After a few days of this, he will be sleeping through the night. Good luck and don't be afraid to let him cry for even 30 minutes!!

My son is only 7 1/2 months but I am having the same problem. I have been told not to feed him anymore in the night but to just go in there and not pick him up but put my hand on him and just reassure him that he is not alone. Well that sounds easy enough but in the middle of the night I am just tired and want to give him the bottle and then go right back to sleep. So if you get any other good ideas please let me know.

My first child did that also. Honestly, I just had to cut him off. I did the Ferber method. I know many mothers don't agree with it, but it worked for us. The first night I thought I had made a mistake and this would not work. I kept it up and within 3-4 days he was sleeping through the night. We both have never been happier. Good luck!

Last feeding off a night, give him rice ceral in a bottle. Then if he wakes up later pat him and give him a pacifyer. I think it is habit, not hunger that is waking him. He may cry a bit, but don't think it would last long, it may go from waking up just once to none soon, if you try this, I assume the pacifyer hasn't been tried. I'm not for sticking one in their mouth when they are content, but this sure helped on my daughter.

I commend you for breastfeeding him for 6 months, but don't listen to your friends about that being the cause - 6 months is not "long". Both my kids were bf for 2 years and slept through the night. I remember my ped telling me at my daughter's 6 month appt that she should be sleeping through the night. So I let her cry it out that night, and after about 10 minutes she was sound asleep. After only about 3 days of this she started sleeping through the night, and I was kicking myself that I hadn't tried that sooner!

Why is everyone suggesting to let the baby "cry it out"? This is the most cruel suggestion I have ever heard. I read it all over this website, and it breaks my heart to know that there are so many babies crying themselves to sleep!

Until your baby can talk to you and tell you exactly what is wrong, crying is his communication. Why decide to have a baby if your sleep is more important? Babies have to "learn" everything and it's your job to teach them...even how to sleep. Rock him, love him, sing to him, so you teach him how to be calm and relaxed and eventually go to sleep. Does a child learn to read in one night? No. So, a baby isn't going to "learn" to sleep in one night! You have to teach him, even if it means getting up and rocking him several times a night, for several nights.

When you let your baby cry it out, you're teaching him that he cannot depend on you for comfort. You are forcing a helpless baby to wear himself out by crying. He "learns" that no matter how much he cries, he cannot count on the fact that his Mommy will come comfort and love him...so he just has to cry himself to sleep. Is Mom's sleep more imprtant than your babies confidence in comfort? That is so sad.

R., I'm sorry I took your posting to rant and rave, but I just hope you don't take the suggestion to let your baby cry himself to sleep. Believe me, I've had my ups and downs with my 8.5 month old. He sleeps great and then teething rolls around. It's tiring, exhausting, depleting, frustrating, etc. to get up several times a night and be a zombie the next day. But at least I have the peace of mind that my boy knows I am there for him to comfort him in time of need. Even though I may not be the most "alert/awake" Mom after a sleepless night, I feel I'm a dedicated Mom for not leaving my baby in pain, tired, and scared all by himself.

Hello there,

I went through the same thing with my son. He was breastfed for 9 months and then would wake up every night to get fed. The way I did it was first to stop the breastfeeding and then when he woke up at night, I will give him water. Then after that, I gave him nothing. Then he had no reason to wake up. My problem was solved in one week.

Goodluck
A.

This is the time get ready to hear him cry. If he isnt wet and you know he isnt hungry you should do the ten minute rule. Let him cry for ten mins and if he has not fallen asleep by then you go and check on him but other than that allow him to comfort himself. This is hard to do I did it with my son when he was 7 months I cried along with him in my own bed but after 7 days he was sleeping through out the night. Good luck

I can say that your son could still be having his breastfeeding need. My dtr will be 1yr old this month and she has just started "sleeping thru the night"...on a good night. I stopped breastfeeding her about 4mths ago. It's still her schedule tho cuz her bedtime is 11-12 on a good night if I cut her naps short thru the day. She does still wake 1-2 times a night. She needs the comfort.
When she is REALLY cranky and hungry she actually starts pulling my shirt and looking down it. She knows. Your son knows. Give him time. Yes, it's been a long time...for you. His sense of time doesn't really exist yet.
You could try cutting a 1/2hour off your son's naps and making sure he's super active during the hours before his bedtime. He may start sleeping better if he's extra worn out.
Lots of good luck to you. I know you will need it!

My son just turned 10 months. My dr. said "when you are tired of getting up through the night, you will let him cry." My son was 6mo at the time and I still felt he needed the feedings throughout the night. Shortly after I decided I could not do it anymore, so I let him cry. It took about 15 min the first and second night and I have not had a problem since then. I have "trained" him that if it is still dark, he does not get up, but as soon as the sun comes up at 6 he is wanting to eat. He eats and goes right back to bed. It is hard to do at first, but he no longer NEEDS the nourishment throughout the night. Hope this helps!

I had the same problem until my sister-in-law kept him one night. Make sure his room is dark....no lamp or night lite. If he wakes and sees light he thinks it is time to get up or eat. If the room is dark and he wakes up, he will eventually learn to go back to sleep. You may have to let him cry a bit, but he has to "learn" going back to sleep. Try it for a while and see what happens. I used to give my son a bottle with cereal in it before bedtime....seems to help them sleep more too. (but that was 16 years ago....it still may work!)

When I first wanted my son to sleep through the night, I was trying to wean him from that final wake up at 3AM. So, I started by giving him 4 ounces of formula for a few days, then 3 ounces for a few days, then 2 ounces and then he never woke up for the 1 ounce.

I'm not 100% sure what to do for a child waking up several times in the night. My daughter is currently 7 months old and still wakes up in the night. The other night, she woke up after being fed only 2 hours previously and I absolutely refused to go in there. She fell back asleep after about 10 minutes. So, I think you may have to be hard on yourself and force yourself not to go in there at some point.

-L.

What worked for me was adding oatmeal in the milk bottle at nightime