This morning when I went to wake him up, I turned on his closet light and he wasn't laying in bed, but I heard a odd noise. So i walked over to the other side of his bed and he was sitting on the floor - peeing (that was the odd noise i was hearing). He's 4 (will be 5 in March). My son is a very sound sleeper, so occasionally he may wet his bed - but that is rare, so we always tell him it's an accident and it's no big deal (but he is embarrased when that happens). So, I check his bed and his sheets seemed to be dry, but his jammie bottoms are laying on the floor by his hamper wet so I knew he tried to "hide" his accident, but peeing on the floor instead of walking to the bathroom across the hall - crazy!!! Maybe my walking in while he was trying to hide it scared him - who knows.
SO, after he ran to the bathroom (embarrased), i made him come out and told him that accidents happen, and that's OK, but peeing on the floor is NOT OK. I made him clean it up with spray, and help me strip his bed and put his sheets and jammies in the wash (in case his sheets were wet), tonight he will have to help make his bed, and we will sprinkle some carpet stuff in his room and he will need to vacuum the pee spot he marked.
Has anyone else had this happen? My husband thinks making him clean up the mess it being too strict - is it? (He use to "miss" in the bathroom (just cause he could shoot his pee anywhere he wanted to), so I made him clean it up one time - and he's never done it since, so I'm hoping this will work too)
after reading all the responses - I got to thinking a little more about if he could have been sleeping - but i guess since he answered me when i asked him what he was doing - i assumed he was awake. (I'm alright with the accidents in bed and NEVER make him feel bad about it cause I know he's 4 and a sound sleeper). When I picked him up from daycare and I asked him about it, he said he doesn't remember peeing on the floor, so who knows. Maybe he was still half asleep. So i dropped it. I will continue to make him help clean up messes (intentional messes), but if this happens again - i will take a step back and assess the situation a little better. Thanks for all the responses.
Not to strict. Making him help is teaching him a lesson in a nice way. After making my son clean up his pee once it never happened again either. I think you are doing a great job with it.
You are doing exactly what I would be doing so no issues there ... and things like this happen, is there anyway that it would make sense for those nights to put the little training chair in his room and move it closer to the bathroom nightly as a way of helping him thru this issue?
I do not think you were being too strict having him clean it up but he could have been sleepwalking while he was going to the bathroom!!! But nevertheless, you don't want to clean it up. I understand that!
I LOVE how you handled it. I don't think it's strict at all. I think it's teaching him to be self-accountable and responsible for his effects on his environment.
A PERFECT example of "natural consequences" (vs punishment) that will teach him to clean up after himself.
You did perfect. Yes, he should have cleaned it up.
Please explain to your husband how having your son clean up his own mess worked once before, so you're doing it again. Having your son take responsibility for the whole mess -- his clothes, the floor, the bed -- is the right thing to do. He is old enough to help you with all of it. As long as you are not being punitive (fussing at him the whole time) which I'm sure you are not, it's fine to have him clean up.
Many kids his age just don't "feel the urge" clearly yet especially when sleepy. He may even have been so asleep that he thought he was in the bathroom when he started to urinate on the floor! I've heard of kids who basically would sleepwalk and then pee somewhere believing in their sleeping minds that they were in the bathroom. So I wouldn't worry about this unless it becomes a habit.
Nope, I think you did everything right. Keep up the good work mama!
Your husband thinks it's too strict? Maybe he wants to clean it when he gets home then??
I think you're spot on. My son is 4 and will be 5 in March. Not only does he help with chores around the house, he absolutely would be cleaning all of that too if he did it. Like you said, an accident is one thing - but that was deliberate.
Bet he won't do it again...and I think you handled it perfectly.
My son is a sleep walker and pees in weird places a few times a year, he's 8. Last week I caught him peeing right outside the bathroom door! Once he's awake, he doesn't remember any of it, but I still have him help me clean it up.
I think your approach is fine, but make it more matter of fact and collaborative and not punitive. More like "oops you went in the wrong place, we'll have to clean this up now."
One of my boys got up in the middle of the night, walked into the kitchen (hubby and I were still up), walked right past us, opened up the cabinet door under the sink, took out the waste basket and peed in it, then put it back, closed the door, and went back to bed. He was asleep the whole time but looked wide awake. Doesn't remember a thing.
I would guess that your son was asleep or half-asleep when this happened and he was really just as surprised as you. Don't make a big deal out of it, but do have him help clean up tonight as planned.
I think you are handling it just right!!
If your husband thinks you are too strict - HE can clean up the mess.
You aren't yelling at your son. You aren't belittling him. Stuff happens. It could be that he was sleep walking and THOUGHT he was in the bathroom when you walked in and it startled him awake - he was embarrassed.
You are doing it right mama - not to strict and not too lenient! SPOT ON!!
Like Cheryl said, not too strict and not too lenient. Cleaning up the mess is real life, it's not too strict. As long as you are being calm with him, not angry or yelling, and it sounds like you are not.
Good job!
Nope not too strict at all. My husband once took a huge elephant size leak on a full length mirror in our room in the middle of the night and I remember trying to wake him up but he just crawled back into bed until the morning.
My BIL is now 11, but when he was 7, he would sleep walk and pee in weird places... he would spend the night over here once in a while, and one time he peed on the toilet paper... yeah, weird. But it's a sleep walking thing and he doesn't know he's doing it!
It looks like mine is the unpopular answer. I don't think he was doing anything malicious, so I would clean it up to minimize his embarrassment- probably sleepwalking when he did it.
I also would not be using harmful chemicals to spray and powder my child's room- much less putting him right in the middle of exposure to them by making him use them. White vinegar diluted with some water is enough to clean some pee (which, yes, might smell, but is sterile and not harmful.)
I don't think you are being too strict. But, maybe he was still asleep? My son actually did this last night. He is also 4 years old. But, for him, he was actually sleep and he thought he was in the bathroom when really he was standing in the hallway peeing on the water heater closet door. Thankfully though we have hard wood floor so it was an easy clean up. He had no idea he was even doing it.
I bet he was sleepwalking.
I had a family member who did this. It was a right turn out of her bedroom to go to the bathroom. And a left to the kitchen. She was found sitting on the kitchen chair urinating. She thought she was on the toilet. Another time she went in the garbage can.
I'd give him a break and not make a federal case out of it.
You said he is a sound sleeper could he have been mostly asleep while he was urinating on the floor? My nephew came over and stayed at my house and he woke up naked with now clue how he got that way and we found his clothes over by the play kitchen which he apparently peed all over and had no clue he did it. He was probably 5-6 when this happened. Im not saying you were too tough on him but if he wasnt awake it is not his fault.
I bet he was asleep. I would not punish him. There was a post a while ago about a woman who woke up to the same noise and found her husband peeing in the closet (I guess door next to the bathroom door) - sound asleep.
You make a mess, you clean it up.
There's nothing mean or strict about it.
It's something a lot of boys/men could stand to learn.
I'm not worried about his using sprays to clean up.
Pee can smell something awful and there are products that are safe to use around pets.
There are so many boys at taekwondo where my son goes who pee on the bathroom floor and just expect someone else to clean up after them it's just ridiculous.
It sounds like he was probably asleep while it was happening. However, I agree with the sentiment of "he made the mess, he should clean it up". I also do the bathroom thing (peeing while standing is also a priviledge and not a right in my house). My husband, 6 year old and 4 year old can all pee correctly into a toilet without getting it all over.
My son never did that, however, he DID go to the bathroom, take off his pajamas, start running the tub in the middle of the night...he was totally asleep! So that wouldn't surprise me that your son was actually more asleep than awake!
I don't think you are being strict by having him help clean up, whether he was awake or not. it's never a bad thing to teach kids that actions have consequences (because more often than not they will say it was an accident, or they didn't know what happened, but that doesn't mean someone doesn't need to clean it up), and it's not as if you are working him to death to get your point across. No harm done Mom!
On a different note, my son, who is 13, occasionally wakes up with some kind of night-terror thing, running downstairs and screaming like a crazy person. the first time this happened I was terrified, not knowing if someone was attacking him or something - it really freaked me out; talk about an adrenaline shot! He never remembers when this happens either.
Who knows maybe he was asleep and dreaming he was peeing in the toliet.
Urine you have to get right away. Anyone, have good cleaning ideas for mattresses? I have used vinyl covers, etc and they have been taken off during the night.
Merry Christmas
J.
I'm siding with your husband on this one. It seems pretty clear to me that he doesn't want to be doing this, so I don't think it's really under his control. Maybe the urge is so strong that he can't make it to the bathroom in time? Whatever it is, be gentle. A lot of kids wet the bed until they're five or six because their body is not yet producing the hormone that condenses their urine at night. He may just not be old enough yet. I'd try having him wear a pull-up at night so that it catches the urine if he doesn't make it to the bathroom in time. Explain it gently, that this is to help him (it is NOT a punishment). Good luck!
I never had this occur but I am not surprised. 4 year olds are weird! They often act like they are older than they really are. Maturity-wise, there are so many things they just don't get.
I think he was awake and very well aware of what he was doing, as evidenced by the fact that he tried to cover up his pee. He probably thought about it for a second, wondered if it was the right or wrong thing to do, figured it was probably wrong but wasn't totally sure, and, on impulse, went for it anyway.
The other day my son pooped in the potty and never told anyone -- usually he tells someone so he can get assistance in wiping his bottom. But for whatever reason, I am guessing because he was on the computer playing a game and didn't want to waste time, he never told anyone, hoping he would be able to get away without wiping his butt. My husband was grossed out and pretty upset over it. I calmly told my son that this was not appropriate, that he could get sick if his butt stayed unwiped for a long time, and that next time, he is to tell someone that he has pooped. I was done.
It is all a part of growing up. After all, how does one find out that you shouldn't pee on the floor if you haven't tried it at least once and faced the consequences?
I think making a 4 year old clean urine/accident is too extreme in my opinion. If the mess was made up of toys or spilled food, that's a different story.
I would think he was about half way awake and not completely aware of what was going on.
