My husband and I were out to dinner this evening. He came from work, so had his own car. My children were home alone, my 12 yo watching his almost 9 yo sister.
My husband left earlier than I did, (I stayed to talk to friends). When he got home, he did not call out that he was home. My children were down the basement. He opened the sliding door in the kitchen to cool the house down, and the cat got out. So he went out after it. Meanwhile, the children are downstairs hearing the sliding door being opened, and not knowing who was there. They thought someone was breaking into the house to rob them. They were terrified.
And my son, my sweet little boy, got his toy spy gear kit out, and loaded his darts into the spy case (this is a freakin' toy!), and told his sister to hide and stay down there while he went up to investigate. And scared as he was, he came upstairs and confronted the burglar (my husband). Of course, when he saw it was just Dad, he was very angry that Dad hadn't called out that he was home, but he calmed down quickly.
Anyway, when I got home 30 minutes later, and my daughter told me what had happened, and how my son made her promise to stay in the basement no matter what, and I heard from my son how scared he was, yet he came up anyway, determined to protect his sister....... I was just so very proud of him! it made me cry.
And then I felt badly that I had to tell him that though I was very proud of him, and he was a very brave boy, and very responsible to look after his sister, IF that ever happened again, he was to call the police immediately - NOT go in search of the burglar!! I had to explain that his toy dart wouldn't really hurt anyone, and an intruder would hurt him badly, once he saw him.
So now I am thinking - I should have waited until tomorrow to address that. I should have let him have his "moment" of being the brave hero tonight. And I feel like a sucky mother that I took that from him. I mean really, it's extremely unlikely that anyone ever WILL break into our house. I could have waited..... What do you think? Would you have said anything tonight? Would you have said anything at all?
Thank you all for your kind words! It made me feel much better. And you're right, I did not yell at him -- I just calmly (but earnestly) explained that in the future, he needed to call the police. He said, "But what if it's you?" And I said, "Then the police will come and make sure it's me, and tell you that you did the right thing."
I did talk to my husband about it, and he said he was just so flustered when the cat got out that he was only thinking about finding it and not thinking about the kids in the basement. So, I understand, but I still asked him to announce his arrival home from now on.
You all have a wonderful weekend!
Just go and give him a big hug and kiss and tell him once again how proud you are of him and how brave he was. What a great kid!
I don't really have any advice other than to say that I would probably do the same thing. My kids are 3 and 1 and I really hope my son protects his little sister one day too, but not at his own risk. Maybe you could print out a "hero" certificate for him and present him with it to show him how proud you are :). I would be so proud too!
Sounds like you did the right things. I think there are times when telling a child "in the moment" makes more of an impact. You FIRST praised him, and then directed him. I've always heard that is how best to teach.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You can tell him again tomorrow that he was brave.
I would have done the exact same as you. After all, it was great that he was so brave, and took care of his sister... BUT if it happens again, you don't want him to remember having been praised for confronting the burglar, with the safety aspect being second place... you want him to remember that he SHOULDN'T put himself in danger and to call the cops!
:) Kudos to him though.
You know what might be fun for him? Call the police station, and see if they will allow you to bring him in for a tour. Maybe one of the cops can talk to him, and explain to him exactly what he should do in the situation. I'm sure he will listen to you... but the station would be such a fun memory, and leave much more of an impression. :)
I think that it is fine that it was addressed in the moment. You did praise him, but you also cautioned him. If someone had meant him harm, he could have been hurt or killed. Teach him things he CAN do and practice so that next time (hopefully there won't be one) both kids know what to do without wondering what to do.
Don't feel sucky, you needed to tell him.
Just let him know again he really was brave and you are just really proud how mature he acted..
And that this was a good lesson for all of you.. Your husband made a mistake by not announcing himself, but now knows better.. Your son made a mistake, trying to solve this himself, but now knows a better way to handle it..
Good Job Family!!!
That was so cute how protective he was. However, he is old enough to know that was highly dangerous and that the toy isn't a mode of defense. I think you did the right thing to educate him on what to do in this situation, anything can happen at anytime so waiting until tomorrow with a false 'hero' complex wouldn't be ideal. If anything, you praised him, then comforted him by telling him what to do, since he was obviously scared and upset. You can probably go into more depth tomorrow.
You have a brave boy there! That's awesome!
That is too cute! I could see my 7yr old doing that for his sister!
You were just thinking of his safety. There's really no harm done.
You've got a cool kid there.
Maybe there are little hero medals or something or a special dinner. I would be in awe if my daughter did that (if she had a younger sibling) at 12. That is really awesome. I wouldn't feel bad or anything, he needed to know that. That's for his safety.
First of all, it would be your husband I would be scolding for not yelling out immediately!!!! Then, as for the kids, I think it all depends on your delivery! Did you yell or just talk in a normal tone about the possible consequences? This sounds like my kids! My children are the same age difference as yours and almost the exact same thing happened! But with him, it was his paintball gun! And yes, I praised him but then later (the same night) I explained that he should have just called the police instead of trying to be the hero. I only said it once because he understood, then I played up the hero part a lot more! Sounds like you got a couple of great kids!!
I think you did the right thing. Waiting until tomorrow wouldn't have the same impact as telling him when it happened. He knows you are proud of him. You didn't say you yelled at him and from reading it seems you were pretty calm about it so I think he knows you're proud of him.
Now your husband would have got a good yelling at. I know he wasn't thinking when it happened but I would make sure he remembered the next time. Don't feel like a sucky Mom. We can alway think about what we should have done differently after it happened. You have a brave son and a smart daughter so you're son will be ok.
LOL I would have done the exact same as you. I think telling him right then was a lot more effective than if you would have waited. This reminds me of my sister and I:
When we were 8 and 5, we heard a man's voice and my mother's voice coming from downstairs. We knew that dad wasn't home and we thought mom was in trouble. So my sister and I pick up our PLASTIC baseball bats and head downstairs to "save" mom. Turns out, that there was a pizza delivery guy who had been mugged a few houses down. He came to our house because it was the only one with lights on, and my mom called the police for him. The voices we heard were his, the officers, and mom's. Let me tell you that officer got a kick out of my sister and I in our Strawberry shortcake nightgowns and plastic wiffle ball bats. Mom rushed us off the kitchen for some orange juice, and after a few minutes the policeman came in. He told us we were very brave, but next time if we thought mom was in trouble we needed to call the police right away. Mom, told us the same thing. Made a pretty big impact on us that the police thought we were brave though. :)
Awww, what a great big brother. I don't think you stole his thunder by telling him what he should have done. You addressed how proud you were of him, but then told him how calling the police would have been the safer alternative! I'm sure he understands!
