My stepfather passed away from tongue cancer when my brother and sister were 8 and 10 yrs old. He too went through the radiation and the chemo, but it seemed my brother and sister really didn't understand the serious nature of it until the very end....they were just too young. However, my stepfather did everything for them and my mom that he could to spend time with them, and to get them to understand how much he loved them. His cancer was always staring us in the face, so it was an open discussion whenever it needed to be, especially when he was having his hard days. I encouraged my mom to have my brother and sister talk to guidance counselors at school or social workers that might be in the cancer center where he is being treated. For my mom, the hardest thing was that he was the head of the household who paid bills, etc. After he passed away, she had no idea how much was owed on things like the house, car, credit cards, and didn't even know where all of his life insurance paperwork was. So, I encourage you to have important discussions with your husband (probably not in front of your children)about some of the possible situations that may arise so you are prepared. It is still upsetting to me to see my brother and sister raised without a father and there are many days where my mom is just going through the motions because she has to for them. But stay strong, there are many support groups out there, and don't give up hope. I work in a hospital, and I've had the pleasure of seeing patients live with stage 4 head/neck cancers. Best Wishes.