I Am a Little Sad About Quitting Breastfeeding, Anyone Else Feel This Way?

Hi L.,
I definitely felt sad about quitting breastfeeding, but I now think that hugging and squeezing my daughter are much more enjoyable ways to bond than beastfeeding. We quit around 17 months, and it was a little strange at first, but then I really started to enjoy the freedom. It was one less thing I had to do in the morning, so I got to sleep a little longer! It will be a transition time for you, but you'll get through it. Best of luck!

I can totally understand. I have a 13 month old girl...well almost 14 month old and while I am totally ready to be done nursing (she does it more for comfort now than eating) I love that cuddle time with her. We will be travelling a lot in the coming month and then moving out of state, so I have decided to continue nursing twice a day until she is comfortable in our new home. I think it is totally normal to be sad about stopping...when else in your child's life will you be able to bond so closely on so many levels. I say if you're not ready to give it up then keep nursing.

My son was 2 on March 18th. We are still breastfeeding, but not alot. I just really want him to ween without alot of tears and drama. (for he and I...haha) I just LOVE it...never would have guessed. My sister told me last week as we watched her 17 year old daughter walk across the stage to receive her diplomata...never wish any of it away. I'm gonna hold on to my baby as long as he lets me. Good luck!

I totally understand how you feel. I bf my first son for 14 mo. The weaning process was easy for us because I was preg again, and my milk supply just went away gradually. I will always remember that last feeding, because it started/ended a new chapter of our relationship.
With my 2nd son, I planned to bf for about a year as well, and he is now 19mo, and still nursing. I thought, why do I really have to stop at a year? BUT, right now is when you have to really decide what is best for both of you. I didn't know anyone else who bf longer than a year, and nursing a toddler is way different than nursing a baby. Around 16 mo, the nursing sessions actually increased (after they had decreased). I got on a bf moms message board, and aparently that is typical. So, now he bf's about 5x/day. Anything less and he just crrriiesss for "muk, muk". Despite the frequent feedings, I am happy I continued. I'm hoping this bond will last a lifetime! HTH!

Hi L.,
I read through all the reponses. Very Proud of ALL THE MOM's who NURSED SO LONG! And most of the them understood your feelings now. It's not easy. I nursed my daughter until she was 33 months old. By that time, she nursed less than 5 minutes before bed (not to fall asleep). So, it was obviously no skin off my back. She, of course, had hit all her milestones, drank out of a cup etc, etc. But, she wasn't ready to stop nursing. If you read about it, there are still nutritial benefits, immune system benefits and other health benefits to nursing. Your milk adjusts every step of the way to your child. It doesn't hurt anything, it only is good. At times, I would think - I wonder if she will ever stop... Other times, I would think - OMG I don't want her to stop... I would talk to her about being finished and then mommy's milk would go away. And I had followed her cues for drinking out of a cup (sips of water at about 5 months), eating solid food (6 months), potty training (2 1/2) and I felt like that had worked so well. So, I read about it on the net on good websites (www.kellymom.com has a great article about it).

Even so, I was sad when it was over. And let me tell you, the first time she was sick - I felt terrible because always before if she didn't feel good, I could give her what she felt was the best medicine and now I didn't have it anymore. So, you do what you feel is right for you. It doesn't hurt anything to continue nursing until you are both ready to stop. There are only benefits to continuing - nothing bad.

You're done an awesome job! It takes a lot to continue as long as you have and for your whole life, you'll know you gave your son the best gift a mother can give a child (and it lasts their whole lifetime!)!!

Oh, and, yes, you can still snuggle and still have time togheter, but it is not the same. It's sort of like when they lose the baby look, or start pronouncing a word the right way - but you liked it better the baby way! :-) You know it's part of their growing up - but that doesn't make it any easier.

Congratulations again. You're a wonderful mother and you should be very proud. K.

I had alot of problems nursing my daughter from the start (mastitis, soreness, milk production, and had to constantly wear a nipple shield) and finally gave up after four long months. I felt overwhelmingly guilty and sad abouut having to quit since I had planned on breastfeeding her until age one. However, it was causing so much stress for the whole family I had to make this decision. She is now 7 1/2 months and I understand how that one on one time is so special, when it is only something YOU can do for your baby. I still miss nursing her and feeling that closeness, but I think you will find you have established a very special bond with your son that in many ways will never go away. You can also proudly tell him when he is older that you loved to nurse him and knew that you gave him the best start a mother can possibly give. My mother nursed me until almost age two, and let me tell you, I see absolutely nothing wrong with doing this. I really believe the longer you can give them breast milk the more health benefits there are, even with just a few times a day. I for example have never had a cavity, the chicken pox, a broken bone(and several times I have been close), the flu, or really any major colds or allergies. My sister on the other hand has had all and was bottle fed from 2 weeks old on. I think it is always best to wait to stop until both of you are ready, and if you don't think you are, keep going! Good luck and congrats on being a successful breastfeeding mother. Hopefully I will also next time around!

P.S. When my mother weaned me, we had just returned from a trip to my grandmother's and she told me we "left it there", we still get a kick out of this. I stopped right then because I thought I couldn't nurse anymore! :)

L.-
That is perfectly natural! I was very sad when my daughter weaned herself at 6 months. I had wanted to continue for a year with her. I felt like she didn't need me anymore. My husband couldn't understand it. There is a special bond there between you and your infant. On top of that there are hormones involved in the process that help you relax. So I guess the best way to put it is that once you stop nursing, your hormones are in flux.

If you are nursing twice a day and your son are happy with it there is no reason you can't continue. I was going to wean my son at a year, but every time I thought about weaning him something came up or he got sick and I was afraid of stressing him out by weaning. We continued up to about 18 months and I am glad we did. We are so close and all that good stuff found in breastmilk did him a world of good.

La Leche has a good website for breastfeeding support that you may find helpful. Just remember that you are not alone!

I know exactly how you feel.

I literally cried when I stopped breastfeeding my sons at 3 months to go back to work. I hated it. But who says that you have to stop at 1 year? Actually, there are many cultures who's women don't stop breastfeeding until thier child is about 4 years of age!

Who's to tell you when you should or shouldn't stop breastfeeding? If you still want to do it and it makes you feel uncomfortable that other people know....don't tell them. Shhh!

D.

Why do you have to quit? Keep going until you are ready. My youngest is 13 and the time goes so fast with your kids. Enjoy it while they are little. There's nothing wrong if you want to keep going a little longer. It's good for the both of you.

Everything will work out just fine. I breastfed my twins for a full year, quitting on the night before they turned one. It was sad for me, too. I didn't want all that closeness and bonding time we had to end. But, it didn't. Instead of sitting on the couch with little interaction, we now had time to play and learn. And we cuddle still everyday.
Another thing to keep in mind, is to be open minded. The end of breastfeeding brings new freedom to your own life you haven't had in over a year. At the same time, you don't have to stick to your own goals. Just because you said you'd stop at a year doesn't mean you HAVE to. No one should be disappointed in you for breaking a goal you yourself set before you knew what you would really want. Just do what's best for you and your baby...you already know what that is because you're a mother :)

I had the same feelings as you about my son. I breastfed him for 2 years. It was hard to stop. I think once they reach a certain age, it just gets harder. He was old enough that he would lift my shirt up in public and everything. It also hindered his development in that he did not want to do anything but be stuck to me (actually my breast). It is your decision and choice. You don't have to give up at a year, but I definately would give up way before two. Hope this helps.

We let our toddler lead the way to weaning. She is two and rarely (every few days) wants to nurse. As long as no one is pushing (you or your son), there is no magic age when you MUST wean. I have felt a little sad, knowing that my dd is almost done nursing, but I know that it's okay, because I know she is ready to stop as she has made this choice.

L.,
I have two daughters and breastfed both of them on demand. There is nothing that says you have to quit nursing at one year!!! If you are both enjoying it and your milk supply is good, why stop? It benefits both you and him in so many ways! My oldest daughter stopped at 18 months and I was devastated! I cried for three days and was in a terrible depression. I just loved doing it, but she decided she was done. Nursing made up so much of who I was as a mother that I couldn't imagine not doing it, which is why I was so sad about stopping. My second stopped at 24 months and I again was very sad...BUT it was their decision so I knew it was best for them! Keep nursing as long as you both like. It is an awesome thing!

Yes, I can totally relate. My little guy will be one on June 30th. I'm still nursing about 3 times a day. I also struggled with nursing originally and thought I'd only do it for 6 months, but our little guy never really took to the bottle so I have continued. And now that the end is near I don't want to stop either!!

Hi L.,

I am living the same thing right now! My baby will be 1 on June 18, and we also had a very difficult time with breastfeeding the first few months. I feel like we've formed an extra-special bond because we succeeded together, and I don't want to give that up. I bf her older sister (now 4) for 13 months, and told myself that if we made it to a year, I'd be happy. It's such a special relationship between a mother and child, and my sadness also comes from the fact that this means my baby isn't a "baby" anymore. But I've managed to stay positive by enjoying the time I've gotten back to do some more of my own things, and enjoying all the new things she and I can do together. And of course, still cherishing those early morning and late-night feedings for as long as they do last . . .

I don't think any words can make the sadness go away, but I do find comfort in knowing others understand exactly how I'm feeling. By the way, congratulations on getting beyond the difficult time and enjoying such a long time of bf with your baby -- you deserve a big pat on the back!

I think its normal to feel a little sad, that is exclusive time that you and your son share and you won't have it anymore. But, like my husband reminds me often.... your son will leave some day. (I still don't believe my husband but I do get his point! haha). You and your son will still share a bond that a mom and son share, don't worry about that. You are his favorite person in the whole world and you will see that while you don;t have that particular time together you two will stuff have your special times. Its hard to watch them grow and do their own things without you. My son is 14 months and he seems to be becoming a "child" and not a "baby" anymore instantly. I stopped breastfeeding with him at 3 months after he had surgery on his cleft lip, he was too young to argue about it, but I still spent plenty of special times with him cuddled up in a chair just holding him.

I felt the same way but I know I didnt want to be nursing forever, so I started weaning my son off the breast at 10mths old by the time he was 1yr old he was down to just the night feeding and it still goes on, he doesnt want to break that night nursing, he is now 16 months as of sunday. I so just want to be done with the nursing at night its a tough one to stop. I am sad as well but relieved at the same time at this point I just want my boobies back to myself. I just want my son to be able to fall asleep at night without having to nurse.

Congrats on making a year, I never thought I would last a whole year. I do love the moments we share together and the bond when I am nursing my son, but like the others say you can find other things to do to spend bonding time with your child, those moments when they come over to you and just give you the biggest hug. I LOVE IT.

L. I totally know how you feel. I did no BF my first three kids but I did with my fourth and we had a tough time in the beginning. I remember crying telling my husband it just wasn't going to work and he kept saying just keep trying and I was so glad I did, one day I reliezed omg this is going to work out after all. At about 11 months I started to reduce the feedings and at 13 months she still was breastfeeding 2 times a day. She got pnemonia and ended up in the hospital, she was a very sick little girl for about a week and she refused to drink, eat and breastfeed. I'll never forget after we were home from the hospital a couple of days reliezing that I had breastfeed my baby for the last time and didn't even realize it was going to be the last time. I was so sad but at the same time I knew it was best, i was so nervous she would be one of those kids you hear about that still have to nurse when they are 3 or 4. (to any moms that breastfeed that long-I am not saying there is anything wrong with it I just knew it was not for me)I will always treasure the one on one time we had and all of those months of bonding. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Good Luck to you.
S.

For me, anticipating weaning was more difficult than actually doing it. I stopped when my baby was 13 months old, and we were both ready, so it just kind of naturally dropped off. I was sad to leave it behind, but I was also ready. Trust your instincts...you'll know what to do, and there is still plenty of time to cuddle without breastfeeding.
T.

Hi L.!! I had a cholic baby, so I quit b-feeding much sooner than expected. I had the total guilt trip about it. I was so upset about it. Guess what......like with anything you get used to it!! I also made sure to make it a VERY positive experience and only think good things about it. I would just think how exciting it will be for your little boy to grow up and use a sippy. Every new experience should be exciting NOT an upset. Moms need to have a big sense of humor and easily adaptable to change. Think of all the freedom you'll be gaining soon. It's time for a girls trip somewhere!! WOO HOO!! Best of luck - S.