M.P.
I've had several abdominal surgeries and never had difficulties but then I've been in good health. I suggest you find and work with one doctor that you can trust. One doctor, the surgeon or your gynecologist, can get information from all the others. What you describe is chaos. The one doctor can put everything together and help you decide.
I also urge you to start with a counselor who is trained in managing health decisions.
Do you have a doctor for each condition? Have you followed their advice for receiving treatment for each condition? I suggest that you find out if it's possible to improve your health and work on getting healthier first.
My daughter has at least 3 doctors who are treating her for several medical issues. These doctors talk with each other so her treatments work together as well as possible. Her doctors are following a plan together.
I suggest that your anxiety and fear is caused in part because your treatments are not organized. I suspect that because you're so anxious you don't follow through with treatment. I urge you to get help from a mental health professional to reduce your anxiety. You are likely to benefit from antianxiety and antidepressant meds. Start with learning a way to manage your anxiety. Then find out how all your doctor's can work together in making a recommendation for or against surgery.