Hush Little Baby Don't Say a word...OR SCREAM!!!

I would definitely NOT suggest allowing your baby to cry it out. It is stressful to them and will not help them calmly "learn" to fall asleep on their own. Babies do not spoil. Food does. Babies do not manipulate. They cry because they need something. Sometimes its because they are hungry or need a change, or its less obvious like they want to be held or soothed or just dont like the situation they are in. I HATE when people suggest letting them cry...how can you ignore your child ON PURPOSE??? I think by letting him cry for a minute or two is fine. Sometimes they just need a minute to settle. My baby will sometimes be asleep when I lay him down and then he stirs and cries for 20 seconds or so and then falls back asleep. So a minute of crying to make sure they are just settling if fine. Beyond that is just stressful to both Mom and baby. And No, extended crying is NOT good for them as stated by another poster. It is proven to raise blood pressure and anxiety in babies.

The biggest thing I've learned as a Mother to my youngest (being his Mom has taught me much more than I ever thought I knew with my first 2) is to not try to force him onto our schedule. Babies know what they need and they are human beings. I think its important to see them as their own individual people who have certain needs that can change or be drastically different from previous children. I usually can get my baby to sleep by nursing him to sleep, but that doesnt always work. If it doesnt, then I set him down to play a while longer. He obviously isnt tired yet, even when he's doing the eye rub thing and you can see it on his poor little face. But I just give him a little more time. Whats the rush? Yes, I have other things to do...older kids to care for, laundry to be done, lunch to make AND a good nap for myself on occasion! But I learned that if I trust him and let him guide me instead of me trying to make him fit this mold, this whole house runs smoother and everyone (myself and baby included) are happier for it. Of course everyone's opinions are different, but I suggest letting him guide you. Give it 3 days and see if that makes a difference in your routine and your little one's peace. If that doesnt work, then follow someone elses advice, but always trust your instincts and parent from the heart. If letting him cry (beyond the 5 minutes you mentioned) is hard on you emotionally, understand its meant to be and that maybe it shouldnt be done.

*edit* I noticed someone suggested Ezzo's book about becoming babywise. This book is horrible and has been shown to be a threat to baby's health. It is linked to dehydration and failure to thrive among other things. Here are some links. Ezzo is actually being sued.
http://www.rickross.com/reference/gfi/gfi5.html
http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/1...
I would actually recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution. Here is a link for that.
http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Throug...
It discusses sleeping through the night but also covers naps and how to make that work so you are still being a gentle parent and teaching baby in a respectful way instead of ignoring their cries. I hope this helps.

Oh...one more thing...I give you a big virtual bag of kudos for still nursing! Thats wonderful and I respect you immensely for giving your baby the very best! Yay! Thats the best I got so I hope it helps you. Good Luck Momma, you're doing great! :-)

Hi D.,

Sometimes 5 minutes just isn't long enough. A rule of thumb for me (a suggestion from a friend who did this) is to let them cry their age in minutes. So, if your son is 13 months then let him cry for 13 minutes. I did this with my first daughter and found that she did not cry the whole time and sometimes she required more than 5 minutes. Now, as the mom, you know if there is something else going on so if it is the shrieking cry because of an ear infection, cold or something else then obviously you don't let them cry that long.

S.

Oh the non nappers! haha Both my little ones hate napping. Even as infants. They feel like they are going to miss something. Which is why after I nursed them they went right to a bottle for my own sanity!

Also 5 minutes isn't long enough for a 13 month old. And you need to make sure your aree consistant. The first time you wait 5 minutes, then put him down again. Then wait 10 mintues and put him down again. Then wait 15 mintues and put him down. You get the picture. Just let him cry! It's good for him.

But be sure that he is getting enough cuddle time before he goes in for his nap. That always helps my non nappers. I make sure that mommy and me time is right before nap time if I can work it in that way. He doesn't want to nap cause he misses you and i am assuming is very clingy like mine are.

Or you could also take him in the car. That always does the trick.

oh almost forgot I also have started rubbing my daughter back while she lays in the crib when she seems to be having trouble falling asleep. I am usualy stainging there for a good 5 mintues but a lot of the time she calms down and falls to sleep.

good luck

Both my kids and my nephew have been good nappers from about six months on and I believe whole-heartedly that it is because we follow the "cry-it-out" technique. I know that a lot of people don't agree with it, but I know that it has worked for us. My first son really never had a problem napping or going down at night. My youngest had more difficulty, mainly because of our living situation at the time (he was still in the bedroom with us in a bassinet because we were finishing our upstairs where his brother was going to be moving so he could have the crib). At about six months I started putting him in for bed and naps the same way. I always sit with him a few minutes in the rocker before putting him down just to calm him and give him a little cuddle time with me. Then I change him and put him in his crib with his blankie, a stuffed dog, a binkie (just something that has worked for us, again I know that not everyone uses them), and his music turned on. At first he fought it bad. I went through one or two days of having to let him cry for five minutes...go in and pat his pack for a minute or so....let him cry for ten minutes....pat...fifteen....pat...after an hour or so each day he calmed down and went to sleep. After the third day he just knew that when we did the routine it was bed time. Now that he can stand up (and jump!!) in his crib, I often have to go in two or three times a few minutes apart, give him his binkie back (because he has thrown it out of the crib usually!), and say "ni-night". It almost never takes him more than ten minutes to go to sleep now....until recently that is! Now that he is 11 mos, he has started protesting the second nap and we are probably going to be weaning to one nap soon (he sleeps late in the morning and my first son started doing this too around this age - though I know my dr said most kids don't go to one nap till around 17 mos....I have those difficult children!!)

Okay, I know that was a little long-winded and probably close to what everyone else was saying...just wanted to share that with you - hope it helps!!!

Hi D.. I have a boy who is 28 months old now, but I know what you mean about fighting naps. I think when he was your son's age, he was taking 2 naps a day (one at 10:30 and another at 3:00). He would go down fine for the first nap, and fight the second one. We started doing a routine with him before every nap. First, we read three books to him to calm him down and get his breathing to slow. Then we listened to the same slow song before putting him down. It took a few weeks, but soon my little guy was falling asleep on my shoulder as soon as the song would start playing. It was his trigger. I guess my advice is: calming consistency. Hopefully, he'll come around. One more thing...if you can get your hands on a copy of the book On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo, you'll be able to get a lot of your questions answered. The book is amazing and helped us get our little one on a really nice schedule.

Hello,
I have found, from experience, that you just need to let him cry it out until he finally goes to sleep. I know it sounds awful, but it is absolutely necessary for him to learn to get himself to sleep (and the sooner the better for you both :)). I used to do the same things as you in regards to trying to get my first daughter to sleep and she would only take 15-30 min naps and both she and I were always exhausted!! Once we decided to finally allow her to cry it out, she was able to sleep more soundly, longer! I hope this is helpful. I was always so worried/stressed out with the sleep issue, I know what a toll it can take. Hang in there! Sincerely, B.

It sounds like you have him spoiled. Leave him be if he cries for no reason. That is the only way he will learn. You are rewarding his cries with attention. Also notice the difference between cries for attention, and cries because he needs something. It sounds different.

OK, I will send a few words - definitely not of wisdom. I have an almost 13 month old boy and we have the same issue...sort of. Naps aren't a problem but waking up in the middle of the night is. 99% of the time now he doesn't cry when we put him in bed. Is it something new with your son? Is he walking yet or teething? I have read and heard that this is a very frustrating time for them trying to do all of these new things. I have asked my son several times, but I have yet to get a good answer. Anyway, I have heard good things about the sleep lady shuffle but have never read the book myself. I either let him cry it out (yes, I let him go longer than 5 minutes). I know everyone doesn't agree with that, but it is what has worked for us. I have also just laid down on the floor beside his bed and closed my eyes. The only thing I will say to him is "shhhh" or "it's night night time." Honestly, it does seem to be getting much better. None of this may work for you but the more options you have to try the more likely you will find something that works. Good luck!!!

Hi D.,
I have 3 children. Some people say allowing your child to sit their and scream is bad for them. Seriously its NOT! I have with all three of my children layed them down for a nap, if they cried, I have let them. I know for a fact they have ate, had a drink, diaper change and played with them. I am also a stay at home mother. You need some time too alone as a stay at home mom. Relax, crying is not going to make them hate you. My youngest is the one that cried when she was put down for a nap (if not napping in her crib, meaning at my moms in a playpen) She wants attention is all. I allow her to cry for only 15 minutes TOPS! If she is still crying by then, shes really not tired and wont sleep. Most of the time she is asleep within 5-10 minutes of realizing mommys not coming. If you rush right in their the first 5 minutes then its useless, the child will never sleep at all. It makes him know that every time he crys mommy is coming to the rescue. Don't! Let him cry it out, does it sound cruel, maybe BUT you will get peace in the end, is it going to happen overnight no, of course not. You have to be persistant the whole time. Some people even use a music box, to soothe the child too.

M.