Husband Works 2Nd Shift. Any Ideas/suggestions of How Dad Can See Kids?

My grandparents used to babysit us when my grandmother worked nights. She would be up doing stuff around lunch, take her nap, and then go to work. Maybe he could get up for a bit with the kids, take a nap, and then do his work. Or occasionally attend those middle of the day at school things that schools insist on scheduling when many parents are at work. Do the schools allow parents to pick up kids for lunch? Maybe do that on a rotating basis with the kids (even the 14 yr old might like a treat brought to the school if s/he can't leave easily) so that's their special time. Not that it should completely take away from you, but if you give up one lunch a month for the older kids, it might really make their day. And even if he doesn't get a lot of time, he can make it quality time. Does he cook? A special dad-breakfast might be a good way to share time with them.

Most schools will allow parents to come and have lunch with their kids! He could have lunch with them at school once in a while. I would also strongly suggest that he have breakfast with them in the morning. If he gets home at 11:00, no reason he can't be up at 6:30 for a bowl of cereal (instead of having dinner every night). He can always lay back down if he's tired when they leave for school.

Devil's advocate here, but maybe once a week the baby could be home with daddy for a few of those hours rather than going to daycare. Seriously, one day a week daddy can get up with the rest of the family and just be a dad to the toddler until noon and then get ready for work.

I want to say that your kids are lucky. Right now its rough to find time together but they are lucky in that one or the other of you are able to be home with them for most of the day. There are a lot of things your hubby can do with them. zoo's , parks, watch a movie, play a game. if he is home by 1030 he could be up with them by 8am. have breakfast and spend the day. would he rather sleep in probably lol but if he really wants to spend time the time is there.

I had the same question about a couple years ago. However my husband worked like 3 days then had 2 days off kind of thing, but he would still keep his night schedule. He'd sleep all day then be up all night. No matter what I tried to do to get him up on his days off, nothing worked (most of the time.) If he is working 7 days a week, he needs to find time to spend w/ the kids. Maybe like others said get up in the morning w/ them and then go back to bed if he's tired still, or go have lunch w/ the school age kids. It broke my heart that our 2 older (5 and 4 now) didn't get to see their dad often enough. But he has an 8-5 job now and his company is big on family. I hope you guys can work something out. Hopefully he's not as stubborn as mine is. :P :)

1st off, let me say I feel bad for you guys and sort of know how you feel. My hubby works 5 days a week 4:00pm-3:00am. He has the opportunity to work the weekends, but I make him refuse ;) I HAVE to pick my kids up from school or summer camp, so that forces me to work 6-2:30 daily, so can get them picked up on time. We literally wave to my husband as we are passing him on the road :( As a result, after getting a couple hrs sleep if that, dad has to wake up and get the kids ready and drives them to school. He is tired and groggy and sometimes crabby, but this is the only time he gets to spend with them Monday-Friday. Saturday's the girls and I have to tip toe around until noon or so, to allow dad to get some sleep. It's no fun, but we have no choice. I wish you the best. Any chance of alternating weekends, or taking ONE day off? How about using a vacation day once a month and just having a family day? Can he pop home on the weekend for lunch with you and the kids? Can you have a picnic in his work parking lot? How about taking him up dinner with the kids? We have done this before. Eating in the car is no fun, but we see each other.

Best of luck!!

Why aren't they getting any Daddy time in the mornings and before 2:00 pm?

My husband works a regressive shift that starts with 2nd shift. He works 3-11 on the first day of his workweek (which happens to be a Tuesday right now). Then the next day he works 2-10. The next day noon-8pm. The next day 8 am-4pm. And "his" Friday (which falls on Saturdays) he works 7am-3 pm.

There are a few days in the middle of the week when he doesn't see the children AT ALL because he is still asleep when they leave for school in the mornings, and are gone to bed when he gets home at night. BUT, on the days when that is not the case, he does get a few minutes before HE goes to bed (and they are still up). During school, Sundays are the only day he gets much time with them. And a few hours on Saturday afternoon/evening (if we don't have plans as a couple or the kids aren't off with friends or whatever).
In the summer, like now, my husband has time with the kids in the mornings before he gets ready for work (well, on Tuesday and Wednesdays anyway). He goes out in the yard with them and has them pull weeds or help mow the lawn or throw the football, or he'll go for a run and have the kids jump in the pool with him for 30 minutes when he gets back from his run.

It doesn't take a LOT of work, but it seems to me that your husband could PLAN to spend 30 minutes of dedicated kids' time with them (at a minimum) sometimes between 9-11 am.... How difficult would that REALLY be for him?
oops... just saw that they go to daycare. So, can't Dad take them to daycare at lunch time? Then he'd have all morning with them.

My husband works Monday through Saturday in a different city about 2+ hours away and spends most nights up there due to the expense of driving back and forth. He comes home on Saturday night and gets to see the kids on Sunday. We talk to him on the phone during the week and do as much together time as possible on Sunday's, it is hard but it isn't forever. You just have to get creative on how you can do family things, using every spare moment together you have. He must get a dinnertime at work and possibly you and the kids could surprise him, same as you guys could surprise the kids at school with lunch. The person that suggest that had an awesome idea. I wish you lots of luck and keep in mind family is important and that it is one of the most important things in life!

First I'd have to ask why he's working 13 hour days seven days a week? That is a lot! Is it the money or is work that demanding?

I would recommend during the school year that he try to make it to a few events in the evenings (maybe just take a few hours off work) and have lunch with your kids that are in school once a month or something like that.

Maybe have one day designated for each child with him. So Mondays the oldest gets him for an hour or so, Tuesday the next and so on.

If it were me, I'd be asking him to cut back his hours! My husband used to work 2nd shift (3pm-11pm Mon-Fri and then 3pm-130 am Mon-Thurs after a few years) so we got to see him on the weekends only for a few years then Friday/Sat/Sun for a few months and now he's on the weekend shift. I'm glad the two of you are getting time together but he also needs to be there for the kids...if that is possible! Sounds like a hard task but you are doing everything you can....